ETIQUETTE OF WEDDINGS AND DINNER-GIVING.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 6138, 26 March 1898, Page 3

ETIQUETTE OF WEDDINGS AND DINNER-GIVING.

Mrs Humphry, in her new book on " Manners for Women," discourses thus on various observances in polite society. In making a call, she says, the visitor does not send in her card if her acquaintance should be at home, but only leaves ifc on departure, or if the friend is out. A married woman leaves two of her husband's cards with one of her own. Of the two, one is meant for the lady called upon, the other for her husband. Should she be unmarried or a widow, the caller leaves only ono of her husband's cards. Should a girl have no mother, her card would bear her own name, or if she have sisters, it would read " th/ misses " before the surname. Should an aunt or other female relative be living with and chaperoning her, the aunt's name would appear above that of the girl's. Three forms of answering wedding invitations are given, to suit circumstances : — 1. "Mr and Mrs Robinson have much pleasure in accepting Mr and Mrs Jones's kind invitation to the marriage of their daughter on Thursday, June 30, and afterwards at 200, Cadogau Place." 2. "Miss Smith has much pleasure in accepting Mrs Brown's kind invitation to be present at her daughter's marriage on Thursday, at St Paul's; but regrets that a previous engagement will prevent her attending the reception at Cadogan Place." 3. " Miss Smith accepts with pleasure Mrs Brown's kind invitation for Thursday afternoon at 200, Cadogau Place, on the occasion of her daughter's marriage, but regrets that a previous engagement will pi event her from being present at the ceremony." Other notes on weddings aro : — " The bride must answer personally all letters referring to presents she receives, and write some words of thanks, even when there is no accompanying note." " A pair of greys were at one time indispensable for the bride's carriage at least, but now all is changed, and ifc is thought better taste to have browns or bays."

"In one or two instances of late the oldfashioned plan of having groomsmen in equal numbers with the bridesmaids has been revived."

" Crying is no longer fashionable. It has followed fainting into the moonlit land of half -forgotten things." " Ifc is now the custom for the bridegroom to completely furnish the house. The bride's only expenses are her trousseau, and some wedding present to the bridegroom. He has to give all the bridesmaids a present, as well as bouquets. He also gives the bride her bouquet, and often her mother one. The bride gives presents to her pages, if she has any. Her father pays for the decoration of the church, music, &c, and everything connected with the wedding day, until he bids his daughter good-bye, when she leaves for her honeymoon." "During the last few years a considerable change has occurred in the choice of bridesmaids. Formerly, these almost invariably consisted of sisters of the bride and bridegroom, and bosom friends of the bride. Now the bridesmaids are at least as often children as adult. They are usually nieces of one or both of the parties. The change is due to a growing disinclination of girls who are out being bridesmaids. The old superstition, ' Thrice a bridesmaid, never a bride,' may have had something to do with it." "The Princess of Wales's engagement ring spelt the pet name of the Prince. The first stone was a Beryl, second an Emerald, third a Ruby, fourth a Topaz, fifth a Jacinth, and sixth an Emerald." " The bride's white satin is now often replaced by silk muslin, chiffon or lace. Should she elect to be married in travelling dress her bridesmaids wear smart visiting costumes instead of white or light-tinted attire."

A widow when marrying again wears grey, mauve, heliotrope, lavender, biscuit or deep cream colour. She has no bridesmaids, but is usually accompanied by one maid of honour, whose dress must not be so light of hue as to eclipse her own. Travelling costumes consist of tweed serge Irish frieze, homespun, and other all-wool materials, and aro of the class tailor-made. In hot weather white muslins, piques, and flowered or pale muslins are worn Alpacas, surahs, foulards and mohairs are suitable for seaside or travel--sn«r dress. Glittering bead trimmings and elaborate embroideries are quite out of pl F?r seaside or country wear tailor-made co-Xumes are indispensable, the materials cobuuuic hemespun and other being doth^ser^ aften £ on a ImouS'of elaboration is usually imported in Even^° S S' includes two styles-full Evenm,, " Tho former ex tg tm . and demi-toilette the , latter XTh of partis coverin c both - ' Tbe former W^ises ball and dinner dress, the

latter theatre. It is only- ladies of the upper middle class who wear full dress a* theatres. The Princess of Wales and her daughters favour a less decollete style. Concerning rinner-givi"g, Mrs Humphry writes :— " We are always being told that table centres are going out of fashion, but it is doubtful if they will ever completely do so. Tbey are of pale green, rose-pink, white, oiau&e, ancl poppycoloured, their choice bliag regulated by the flowei-3 procurable.'' " The hostess must shake hands with all her guests, whether her previous acquaintance with them has been slight or the reverse."

"There has been a revulsion of late against the slow and tedious two or three hours' dinner party. The Prince of Wales was the first to suggest ancl have carried out the shorter dinner with fewer courses, such as soup, fish, entree, joiut, game, sweet and savoury, with sometimes .soup or fish omitted. .'At somo houses the entree precedes the joint, afc others it follows it. The savoury now attracts more attontion than the dessert. This -is ono of the many changes that have passed over tho dinnertable."

"It is very often a convenient; plan to entertain friends at a restaurant instead of at one's own home, the guest making the first move after it-he meal. Loud talking, laughing, and personal remarks about absent friends are in tho worst taste at a restaurant."

Some notes about correspondence are interesting ancl may be useful : — " In nothing arethe qualities of a gentlewoman more apparent than her letter-writing. Plain but good cream-coloured notepaper is best taste with no crest, but the address thickly embossed in whito or printed in one colour, the characters being as distinct as possible. The correspondence card and letter card aro all consequences of the rush and whirl in which wo live."

For country-house visiting the dresses taken must be in accordance with the social status of the hostess, aud every garment should be fresh and neat. One of tho faults of the average hostess is fussiness. She often fails to realise that the happiness of her guests is often in inverso ratio to the efforts made to secure it. Nothing is more pleasant than to stay at a country houee whero host and hostess are well-bred, and where thero is plenty of fun and amusement without any of the coarser element that vulgarises so many country homes.