THE ANGEL IN THE HOUSE.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 6126, 12 March 1898, Page 2

THE ANGEL IN THE HOUSE.

A DAY FROM THE DIARY OF A YOUNG DOG. \_P-ial;-me-nv._ 7 a.m. — Woke up i'eoling rather below oar, owing to disturbed rest. Hardly energy enough to stretch myself. In the viuddle of the night a strange man came in >y the kitchen .window very quietly Avith a 'ng. I chummed up to him at ouco. He was nice to me and I was nice to him. He ;ot me down a piece of meat that I could aot reach my3elf. While .1" was engaged | >a this ho took a whole lot of silver things md put them into the bag. Thon, "as. je was leaving, the, brute — I believe viow it was an accident — trod on ny toe, making me yelp with pain. [ bit him heartily, and he dropped lis , bag and scurried off through the vindow again. My yelping soon woke up ;iie whole house, and in a very short time >ld Mr Brown and young Mr Brown aplaared. They at once spot the bag of ulver. They then declare I have saved lie house and make no end of fuss with ue. lam a hero. Later on Miss Brown .Mine down and fondled me lots, and cissed me, and tied a piece of pink ribbon •ound my necks and made me look a fool. What's the good of ribbon I should like to ;now ? It's the most beastly tasting stuff ;here ever was. 8.30. — Ate breakfast with difficulty. Have no appetite. 8.35. — Ate kittens' breakfast. 8.36 — An affair with the cat (the kittens' nother.) But I soon leave her, as the •oward does not fight fair, using claws. 9. — Washed by Mary. A hateful busiiess. Put into a tub and rubbed all over —mouth, tail and everywhere — with filthy, ;oapy water, that loathsome cat looking on ill the while and sneering in her dashed superior way. I don't know, 1 am sure, ;vhy the hussy should be so conceited. She aas to clean berself . I keep a servant to ilean me. At the same time I often wish f was a j blaok dog. They keep clean so -nuch longer. Every finger-mark shows np so frightfully on the white part of me. [ am a sight after cook ha's been stroking .ie. 9.30. — Showed myself in my washed state to the family. All very nice to me. a triumphal entry, in fact. It is simply wonderful tho amount of kudos I've *ot from that incident with the man. Miss Brown (whom I rather like) particularly jnthusiastic. Kissed me again and called ne "a dear> clean, brave, sweet-smelliug iittie doggie." 9.40. — While a visitor was being let in it the front door I rushed out and had the .n ost glorious roll in the mud. Felt more like my old self then. 9.45. — Visited the family again. Shrieks if horror on seeing me caked in mud. But ill agreed that I was not to be scolded tolay as I was a hero (over the man !) All, hat is, except Aunt Brown, whose hand, ! or some reason or other, is always against ne— though nothing is too good for the sat. She stigmatised me, quite gratuitously, is a " horrid fellow." 9.50. — Glorious thought ! Eushed up stairs and rolled over and over on the old naid's bed. Thank Heaven, the mud was itill wet ! 10 to 10.15.— Wagged tail. 10.16 — Down into kitchen. While cook s watching regiment pass I play with ;hops and bite big bits out of them. ?ook, who is quite upset for the day by ioeing so many soldiers, continues to cook \ _iops without noticing. 10.20 to 1 p.m.— Dozed. 1. — Ate dinner. 1.15. — Ate kittens' dinner. 1.20. — Attacked by beast of cat again. 3he scratched my hind leg, and at that I -of used 'to go on. Mem. : to take it out of aer kittens later. 1.25. — Up stairs into dining room. Family iot finished luncheon yet. Young Mr 3rown throws a bread pellet at me, hitting ne on the nozzle. An insult. I swallow he insult. Then Igo up to Miss Brown, md look at her with my great pleading ;yes. I guessed it ; they aro irresistible. 'i lie gives me a piece of pudding. Aunt Brown tells her she shouldn't. At which, .vith great pluck, Miss Brown tells her to nine! her own business. I admire that girl nore and more. 1.30.— A windfall. A whole dish of n.ayonnaise fish on the slab in the hall. Before you can say Jaok Bobinson I have molted it. 1.32. — Curious pains in my underneath. 1.33. — Pains in my underneath get worse. 1.34. — Horrid feeling of sickness. * I.37.— Better. Think I shall puli through f I am careful. 1.40. — Almost well again. 1.41. — Quite well again. Thank Heaven ! it was a narrow shave that time. People .aghfc not to leave such stuff about. 1.42. — Up into dining-room. And, to ihow how well I am, I gallop round and •ound the room at full pelt, about twenty imes, steering myself by my tail. Then, as i grand finale, I jump twice on to the waist3oat part of old Mr Brown, who is sleeping jeacefully on the sofa. He wakes up very ingry, indeed, and uses words I have layer heard before. Even Miss Brown, to ny no little surprise, says it is very naughty ri me. Old Mr Brown insists on my being innished, and orders Miss Brown to beat ne. Miss Brown runs the burglar for all ie is worth. But no good. Old Mr Brown s dead to all decent feeling. So Miss Brown beats me. Very nice. Thoroughly enjoyable. Just like being patted. But k course I yelp and pretend it hurts rightfully, and do the sad-eyed business, md she soon leaves off, and takes me into jlie next room and gives me six pieces of j-.igar. Good business. Must remember ilways to do this. Before leaving she cisses me, ahd explains that I should not aave jumped on poor pa, as he is the man ;vho goes to the city to earn bones for me. Something in that, perhaps. Nico girl. 2 to 3.15. — Attempt to kill fur rug in the oack room. No good. 3.15 t0 3.4s— Sulked. 3.46.— 5ma1l boy comes in and strokes me. I snap at him. I will not be every me's plaything. 3.47 to 4. — Another attempt to kill rug. Would have done it this time had not that xliuus Aunt Brown come in and interfered. [ did not say anything, but gave her such i look, as much as to say, " I'll do for you me day." I think she understood. 4 to s.ls.— Slept. s.ls.— Awakened by bad attack of jczeiua. 5.20 to s.3o.— Slept again. s.3o.— Awikened again by eczema. Caught one. 5.30' t0 6.0. — Frightened canary by faring greedily at it. 6.— Visited kitchen folk. Boned some lon.es. 6.ls.— Stalked a kitten in kitchen lassage. The ether little cowards ran iway. ' 6.20. — Tilings are looking brighter. Helped mouse escape from cat. 6.30,— -Up stairs, past the drawing-room, Door, of old Mrs Brown's bedroom open invitingly. I entered. Nover been in before. .. Nothing much worth having, i Ate a few

flowers out of a bonnet. Beastly. Ther into Miss Brown's room. Very tidy when I entered. Discovered there packet labelled " High-class Pure Confectionery." Not bad, Pretty room. 7.— Down to supper. Ate it, but without much relish. lam off my feed to-day. 7.15. — Ate kittens' supper. But I do wish they would not give them that eternal fish, I am getting sick of it. 7.l6.— Sick of it in the garden. 7.25. — Nasty feeling of lassitude comes over me, with loss of all initiative, so 1 decide to take things quietly and lie down by kitchen fire. Sometimes 1 think that 1 am not the dog that I was. 8. — Hooray ! Appetite returning. 8.1. — Ravenous. 8.2. — Have one of the nicest pieces oi coal I have ever come across. ; 8.5. — Nose round the kitchen floor and glean a bit of onion, a_ imitation tortoiseshell comb, a shrimp (almost, entire), an abominably stale chunk of bread, and about half a yard of capital string. After coal, I think I like'' string best. The family have noticed what a lot of this I stow away ; and it was not a bad idea of young Mr Brown's, the other day, that if I had the end of- a piece of string always hanging from my mouth they could use me as a string box. Though it is scarcely a matter for joking about, still, it made mo laugh. 8.30. — If one had to rely on other people one might starve. Fortunately, in the ball I happen on the treacle pudding, and I get first look in. Lap up the treacle, and leave the suet for the family. Al. 8.40 — Down into the kitchen again. Sit by the fire, and pretend I don't know what treacle is like. But that vile cat is there, and I belieze she guesses — keeps looking round at me with her hateful, superior ! look. Dash her, what right has she got to j give herself such airs ? She's not half my size, and pays no taxes. Dash her smugness. Dash her altogether. The sight of her maddens me — and when her back is turned I rush at her and bite her. The . crafty coward wags her tail, pretending she likes it. So I do it again, and then she'rounds oa me and scratches my paw viciously, drawing blood, and making me howl with pain. This brings Miss Brown down in a hurry. She kisses me, tells the cat she is a naughty cat (I'd have killed her for it), gives me some sugar, and wraps the paw up in a bread poultice. Lord, how that girl loves mo! 9. — Ate the bread poultice. 9.15. — Begin to get sleepy. 9.15 to 10.— Dozed. 10. — Led to fcennel. 10.15. — Lights out. Thus ends another dernd dull day.