A CIRCUS RING STORY. TOLD BY THE CLOWN.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 5838, 3 April 1897, Page 7

A CIRCUS RING STORY. TOLD BY THE CLOWN.

(Chicago lalfr-Oc^nv.) " I had a new joke last sonson," said the ox-clown, " but though it was good I only used it once, because the very evening I sprung it first wo hud such a bit of bad luck that tiie sur,<-iT,ti;ious manager declared that if I. used it aguiu it would hoodoo the show. " Last summer 1 was clowning it through the English provinces with a small onering circus. We had a 1 rick donkey. The renowned perior„nu£ donkey from tho Desert of Sahara,, wnieli had hauled tbe efforts" of hundreds of Asiatics to ride him, aud had been secured for tho show at an enormous expense, no tho bills said. We used to -offer a guinea in every town to anyone.wh o could mount Sahara, as we culled "him, and we never lost any money. " Well, ou this particular evening, just before the donkey was brought on, I sprung my gag ou the ringmaster. It, went like- this — ■ Can you tell vie, sir, why a duck lays an .gtf '? ' Whilw I was waiting for him to answer I could hear the audience paying ' That's a good one,' ' That's perfectly fresh,' and so on, and I felt that I had made a bit. 1 was suro I had when I gave tho an.wer, ' Because sho can't lay a foundation-stone,' and heard the audience explode in a roar of delight. It was an appreciative audience," the 'oxclown remarked, pointedly, quite disappointed that those about him greeted his ancient joke with but faint smiles. " But that isn't my story. "When things had quietened down a bit Sahara came ou and we made the Usual offer to anyone who could ride him. As usual two or three boys came out, but the donkey's lively heels soon drove them from the ring, and then, to my surprise, I saw a middle-aged man stepping up from tho sixpenny compartment, the spectators laughing and chaffing him tremendously. Only rarely did a man try to subjugate the donkey, and I smiled to myself, for it was a million to one that he would soon get laid out. The ringmaster was holding Sahara by the bridle and stood still for the man to approach. " The visitor rather puzzled us by taking a wide sweep of the donkey. Apparently he was making for the ringmaster rather than the moke. But the ringmaster turned the donkey round and kept him between himself and tho would- bo rider. The man made several attempts to get closer,- but the donkey always interposed. At last he made a quick run but the donkey was too quick for him. He lashed out violently with his hind legs, and caught the visitor right in the pit -of the stomach. Down went the man like a log of wood. "The audience laughed and applauded - but we could see that the job was nothing to smile at. So myself and two others took the man \rp and carried him outside, the ringmaster following. The band struck up a tune for the great troupe of acrobats to appear. When wo had put the man down on a chair, we asked him how he felt. He looked pretty bad and upset from the kick, yet none of us were prepared for the noise he made and his cries that he was done for, ' I want to be sent home,' he said. ' Where do you live ?' asked the ringmaster. 'Take the blue paper out of" my inside pocket and you will see,' saya the injured party. With that the ringmaster dives hia band into the coat and pulls out a'bluft paper, which ho begins to unfold. ' Are you sure you've got it V says the man. * Certain,' says the ringmaster. ' Why, can't you see I have ?' says the ringmaster, casting his eye over it. ' That's all right,' replies the man, quite cheerful ; ' I've been dodging you all over the country to serve it.' * What is it ?' says the ringmaster, looking at the victim. ' Why, a warrant for yonr arrest for deserting your wife,' says the man, jumping- up and catching hold of the ringmaster. ' Wish the donkey had killed you,' muttered the ringmaster. That's all."