FUN AND FANCY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 5502, 29 February 1896, Page 3

FUN AND FANCY.

-„" Is your son* improving in hi* violin playing, Mr. Jones F" ' " Well-r-either he'ji improving or we're getting need io it !"" '" * 1 " I understand you have a fine gard__t, Tommie." " Yeth."' " ; What do yoh rilla* in ;t chiefly P" . " Tayty-hugth," said Tomniie. ';' A ■ ■;• "*-'. *yj _ An Unfortunate Slip.~~Prisoner : " "VWikt, that man going to defend mb P. Why,' ho ;conldri% bring - an •' irindcerit ' ;pers6a through;" ■••-— . *" . '"■.*• i ,. '■.>•>'.' »* : Mamma.: "I g^ve^yoir the .<^e v -Pnly yestei^yVMCjpy^ day/ .HerYohV'^We^ fit ai^ts^San| Js^^^4f' ikp the': wolf^M^^Sw^dicw^l 1 I^m w mh^m^AM^»M^W ', ' " Yetf efeepi.tb ha-ve^U the. lite gj)s|js, Jimspri. • WhJit dp - you thihitjqf VtofWf •" "I haven't read them yet," oj^erei.Jimson. "My wife' is reading 'them 'te ee&if they are fit for me." „' - ''*.•■'"■-■£•' r Mjre Ijffoneyhags": ".Your .^ soil's .extra^ garice is increasing! He wants a new plaything! This time it' iß a' stable of rtiisehorses." Mr Moneybags : " That all ri^ht. I was afraid' he wanted to start' a ne*§paper!"*' '•..!..* ; . ' ->• Scrupulous Valet (on finding' a halfcrowriinthe pobket' of his master's -«&■# -waistcoat)-! "It's a thousand pities for tße waiatteoat; but 'there's nothing else fp^-itf. I must make a hole 'large enough f pt thp money to slip through !" '*' •.**:* ■' '*w- • Straggles -. " Misßiis,'' won't yon gi^n starving man ten cents P" __|hd Iwljp: i" And yon won't take this ten .cents tatid get drunk on it if I ''give it to jp&hXStraggles: /?' Lord" ''bless ybu, 'iriui-i,-; ■■*_! couldn't' git drunk on iess'ri •a * dottar'tt *alf !" •'*• •;'■; ■>*■*. ■*-'" *" ,t*A »'• *;Miss Hogaboom :" Arid what profe_-ton is ybur brothel iri, Lord Hamercy P" LWrd Hamercy A" Oh, when Algernon leaves Oxford. I fancy be will take orders" $___• WogtijO^^X^Moft).].* ::ss£} " !J3W- ' there' are conic xsal '*fe^.g i enj^men';-^^V lujjg-fpr-pa*^':/;'; .'*??'?'£?. a^&S v '"-Mrt ' Eobmsbri . ww - ?*Snja& tfM^P •ladies" ' St"- #s••■ fend 'iSSbl^* wiai "in 'l-tigfe spirits. "Ma," he eaid, as the cake was being handed round, "may I have some tongue, please ?*" "-TKere^Mi't any. to-figta, Bobby." " That's funny," commented th* boy, "I h-Ard pa. say, as* the v lf4ies ;.ww#*. coming there would helots of It." . k 7b . '! I remember;" writes the Rev.'Montag-ate Fowler, "nine.yeawagb.-afbraiw.r^risiiif*' ' of Crayford, in Kent, telling me tKat;th* day before I saw him he had rec6jv*r*ft^k letter, remonstrating against, the __?&&§{ a; child's lessons in anatomy^ *sir,-- J vO_'.' Mary .Jane . didn't ought ■to learn no mfefc: about her inside. It don't do her no good;, and it makes her. very rude at home. ''•/'-'■'> Sir John M'Donald was at a reoeption-ia-; the . Canadian . west, arid a* bishop -frcwa* Belgium was present.- As the -party. *tt being escorted hy a body pf men m .'Highland costume, the. foreign bishop, BeeEdg;. the bare legß and kilts, asked why-, these men were without trousers. "It's juat.'a local .custom," gravely, replied '■'• Sir* John.,. "In some places -people take' off' their hl*B,, as. a .mark of- honour to distinj-fldu&iii-;, guests.; here they take off their trbuMrra^Vf An amusing instance of an orator rinaJife . to resist a neat paradox waa presented iri"*^ speebh made at a banquet given wfi-Sji:' President Hayes and his Cabinet were^lk Omaha. Evarts was delivering a -mbit'eloquent eulogy of the .West, &n&j'ob)fc:, clude'd one of his famous intemiriahT^ sentences*. in- thea* .^rdfl , :y'"l v lik*'-'ittte';'' west; rl like her self-made men ; ahd^tlia* / more. I travel west, the ; more X meet: wfth her public men, the more I an» e&tigfled Of the truthfulness of the Bible^statemeit.'V that the— wise— men-^-came— from— thfis-.* east!" •'<* - V- ' \\ ; AA .: ' ■ - ,*■» A** -'* :•/<*' -S-.