WHOSE SON WAS HE?

Star (Christchurch), Issue 5458, 9 January 1896, Page 2

WHOSE SON WAS HE?

A FLATTENED-OTJT SUBJECT.

[FEOM OUB LONDON COKBESFONDENT.]

Says the song—" If disguises you would thry, or would prove an alibi, or alter your appearance just for fun, there's just one thing to do, tache Frinch in Killaloe," and proceeds to guarantee that your own mother won't own you for her son. But there is another way in which a distressed Irishman may prevent his nearest relative from knowing him, and that is to walk quietly up to a steam roller at work and lie down in such a position that it may go fairly and squarely over him. Eecently a gentleman went through this performance in Cork, and the authorities subsequently picked up enough for twelve good men and true to hold an • inquest upon; The first point they had to settle was who had the remains been.bef ore they became remains ? One' Cornelius Warren came forward and declared that they had been hia son Augustus, but Augustus happened to turn up alive and in proper perspective in the local workhouse. So the inquest was adjourned, and when it was resumed a certain Mullins asserted that he. had recognised the remains as those of his brother. - , Which would have been all right but for the fact that the brother also turned up. alive — and in the workhouse.This:disheartened the jury, and they refused to ' adjourn any more, and simply found that somebody had been fatally flattened out by a steam-roller, but that ; beyond the fact -that he was temporarily insane,, there was nothing to identify him by. ' .