Fun and Fancy.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 4907, 24 March 1894, Page 3

Fun and Fancy.

I ■■ • A young man in Carmel, Me., took his girl out for a sleigh ride. She fell out, and he drove a mile before noticing it. Kodak Fiend: "Stand still for one moment, please." Cherokee Sam (scared to death) : "I give in, stranger. Fye heerd tell o' them diirn machine guns before. Phrenologist: " You have been married 6dme yearß." Patient (in surprise) : "By George! That's true. How oould you tell ? Phrenologist : " Your bump of hops is a dent." Are they all bachelors and spinsters in Ceylon P If not, how is it the lives ot the inhabitants of that notable ieland are distinctly those of Cingalese P (This is taken from a paper.) The boy, who doesn't leap over seven posts, kick a lame dog,' knock; oyer a box or two, and work tbehaudle of; every pump on hio way to scbool, is either lazy..o r doesn't feel well. ''.-."' Old Gotrox (to hig fashionable ' son) i " You and your set thoroughly disgust ihe. You oould get along ns well without a head as with one." Algy: "Aw, fawtber, how wediculous! Why, wheah would a fellow weah hie hat P " Practical Father: "Has that young man who wants to marry you any money V* Romantic Miss : " Money i He gave mo a cluster diamond zing studded with pearla," Practical Father : " Yea, I know. Has he any monoy left ? " Nervous Old Individual: "Well, Mrs Nipper, I think it's quite time the passage walls were re-papered," Landlady: *' Parding, air, but I'm waiting to see 'ow your health goaa on. Coffins is suoh things to knock the paper off a-cpmin s down." . A London physician says that many persons, simply by deep and rapid inhalations of pure air, can become as intoxicated on oxygen as if they had taken a draught of alcoholic stimulants. Here io a point for tbe man who has been walking rapidly home from tbe club in the night air. Parson Wrathers : "De Bexton ob di-3 church am a— —fool!" Congregation t " Pahson ! Pahson !" Parson Wr&thera ? " I doan' care a cuss. Auy man who doan' know no moah dan to leabo fly-paper where a po' near-sighted pahson . lays hia notes am all dat, an' mo' too. Dis-meetin.' am adjourned." Mr Wickwire : " I don't know whether I ought to tell you, but I won 200dol from Briggß last night playing, poker." Mrs Wickwire: "Oh, how nice. Now you can afford to get me that new dresß." Mr Wickwire; "What an unreasonable woman you are. 1 shall do nothing of the kind. It ought to be satisfaction enough to yon to know that Mrs Briggs won't be able to have a new dress."