THE MEL BOURNE EXHIBITION.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 3944, 8 December 1880, Page 3

THE MEL BOURNE EXHIBITION.

4 (Written specially for the Lyttelton Times.) [By Gabnbt Waxch.] No. IV. PaliLida Mobs— Opbba— Exhibitions ot . thb futube— exits and entbanchs— Thb Steam Man— Holy Bbummaqbm How to Do It. Death has been busy amongat ua since I last wrote, and has taken two men whom we could ill spare — Sir Bedmond Barry and William Saurin Lyater. Sir Redmond was to literature, science, and arfc generally, what Lyster was to music in partioular — a true friend, an ardent admirer, a constant patron. It may be said thafc Lyster worked for profit. Be it so, we all work for something or another, and surely Sir Redmond's titles, social position, and comfortable income were, in some measure, due to tact as well as talent. It is proposed to erect a statue to the memory of the judge, while a life-sizo portrait of tho genial impresario will probably ornament the walla of tho Opera Houae, whero he reigned so long and so pleasantly. Whafc we are to do for anything like a regular supply of Opera in the future, I know not. There are not many who would risk so muoh to make so little as Lester did in several of hia venturea. Third-rate American stars, conjurors, dogs and monkeys, all are more certain of a fair market than those kittle-cattlo, those high-priced lorde and ladies of the grand opera stud, with whom a sneeze heralds loas, and catarrh meana collap3e. But with the outer circle of the general public there ia a central coro of dependenta, opora subordinates, and others who wili feel Lyeter'a death in that deeper British heart— the pocket. For all that ho could storm and stamp and rave, when anything went wrong at rehearsal, for all that he sometimes nearly frightened weak- witted employees beyond the limit of their narrow senses, he forgave more offences, remitted more fines, spoke in private more kindly, and, to sum up, showed a greater wealth of warm-heartedneaa generally, than ninety -nine managera out of every hundred in thia world'a stage, whero " Self " ia the great stock drama, and Sterling Coin the principal actor. Slumber serenely William Lyster ; thinking of the Past we Bhall not forget you in the Future. I could not help wiahing, when in the Now Zealand Court the other day, that you had somo such arrangement as tho picturesque buah scene exhibited by your South Auetralian neighbours; and, indeed, it would bo rather a good idea fortho noxt large Exhibition to havo eaoh country represented in its Court by this novol adaptation of the acone-painter's art. To fancy youraelf actually in the country thua exhibiting ia quito a "sensation " in its way. Bare walls and atiil aquare wooden columna are terrible disillnsionizors. Our Ucmmiaeionerß havo shown an immenae amount of brain-power in varioua directiona, but in no department haa their cerebral development had fuller scope than in the simplo matter of entrances and exits. Timo was whon the average caterer for amusement waa satisfied to allow hia patrona to depart by tho same doora through which thoy had entered ; but the gigantic intellects of our Executivo Commissioners woro leagues above auoh common-place arraugements as thia. Tiioy provided special oxifc gatoa half-a--milo distant from tho entrancc-gatoa, and guarded by a special alatf . Tho result was that from morning until late in the afternoou, half the timo of the attendants at tho entrance gatoa waa devoted to turning back peoplo who wished to leavo at that point, whilo tho men at tho exit gatea turnod , away hundreda, who prcaonted ticketa and ! money and wanted to gefc in. Tho story of • tho philoaophor who ordered fcwo holos to be ' ' mado in his stable door — one for the cat and

the othor for hor kitten j — ia brought vividly to one's mind by the sapient action I have just recorded. Amongst the exhibits not at tho Exhibition is that really overwhelming curiosity, the steam man. I mako it my duty lo inspect every now " show" that is announced, whother it be a five-legged calf, a lady without handa, a temperance lecturer, a giant or a dwarf. In this caao, it is the steam man. Truly, as i_aiulet Bays, " what a wonderful piece of work is a (ateam) man." Outaide on the pavement, where the leather-lunged orator bids all and sundry to pay their expensea, and enjoy tho intellectual treat within provided for them ; outeide, I say, ia ahown the representation of a figure, aa laviahly endowed with levers, cranks and wreathed screws as hia mortal prototype ia with nervea, ainewa and muscles. In.irie you are ushered into ihe presence of a Guy Fawkes, mask faced, acare- ! erow-clothod horror, whoso bared breast diacloaos a battered iron plate, whoao Bide — Siamese twin-like — is pierced by a pipe and shaft in one, and whoso performance consists in a hobbling, shu filing, two stepa forward, one step backwards aort of semi-slide round and round and round a circle somo six feet in diameter. Thia ia the steam man, and this, mark the moral, is «?n independent, non-State-supported Exhibition, which, with its daily averago takings of aome £14, nineteen-twentietha profit, puta the Carlton Garden'a whito elephant into the limbo of unsuccessful monstrosities. Next to being the sole proprietor of the steam roan, X should like to be ono of the partners in the "Holy Land " stall at the Exhibition. Here, four or five dark-featured, white teethed, fez-cappod and, on the whole, fairly goodlooking fellows, are engaged in the sale of trinkets and relica, all supposed to be from Palestine, and never to have known "the touch of a Brummagem hand." Bound tho glazed aides of the kiosk, and pressing -eagerly at the windows, is a constant crowd of female purchasers and worshippers, who alternately handle the trinkota and eyo the awarthy stallkeepers with a mixture of adoration and admiration curious to behold. If there were only time before closing day, I'd off to Birmingham, purchase me a cart-load of curios, walnut-juice my classic countenance, and, believe me, within a year the Ohristchurch palazzo would be a marble fact. We have all kinds of pleaaant things in Victoria — Babbits in our mallee scrub, rust in our wheat, locusts in our grass, phylloxera vastairix in our vineyards. We have alao statesmen, and it ia with a little anecdote concerning one of theae that I proceed to close this letter. The scene was the small court in the Exhibition, where several modern cannons, mitrailleuses, &c, are being shown. Presont when the curtain rises, tho Hon J.M., a Commissioner, &c, &c., &c, surrounded by a group of toadies. Enter a certain wily exhibitor who has long been unsuccessfully applying for a valuable privilege. The legislator scowls, the exhibitor smiles, rubs hia handa, approves of the weather, and entera into genial conversation with the toadying group. Suddenly and loudly he exclaims: "By Jove, I was looking for tho Hon J.M. some time. I ought to have known he was here ! " "Why so ? asks one. " Amongat the great guns of the world ! " waa the reply. Half an hour afterwards the ion mot was ell over the Exhibition, had appeared in an evening paper, tho wily exhibitor's long-sought boon was granted, and — everybody was happy.