MR MUDGE'S COW.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 3906, 23 October 1880, Page 4

MR MUDGE'S COW.

It was pretty generally understood in the neighbourhood that Mr Mudge had a cow. Mr Mudge's sympathies lay in the line of economy, and he got the cow to enable both ends to meet with greater precision. Mr and Mrs Mudge had a baby that was fond of milk, (which is not perhaps surprising), and Beemed to require great quantities daily. We might add that the Mudge's always had a baby with this propensity conspicuous. So he took £6 and bought a cow. This was the price of 500 quarts of milk, but when the milk was gone thero was nothing to show for it, as Mr Mudge argues, whereas with the present expenditure he had remaining a constant fount of supply. It was easy enough to figure tho proportion of expenditure for food to that or receipts for milk, and the result was, of course, amply encouraging to his pocket. His sales to the neighbours would in a year or less pay tho first cost of the cow. Mr Mudge could have knocked off his own head when he thought of tho years and the babioa pertaining thereto that he had gone without a cow.

Tho firßt morning the cow became a member of the family, Mr Mudgo milked her. He was gratified with the yield. Ho set the pail

toone side to put away tho stool, and tho cow ateppe.fl into the pail and overturned it.

A bit of rxcellent advice, instructing peoplo not to cry ovor spilt milk, was for an hour or co entirely disregarded by Mr Mudge, who was obliged to buy his milk that day.

At the evening milking ho used the precaution of placing tho pail in a waggon until after he had arranged tho animul for the night. Now, whether it was an independent animal that preferred to arrange hersolf or was nervous over the nowness of her quarters, is not known, but she certainly showed no desire to be arranged, and in the course of her uneasine?s Mr Mudge was stepped on and squeezed against tho rough wall of the shed, and the cow herself was precipitated against the waggon with such force as to completely overturn the pail. Mr Mudge felt like screaming, right out aS this, bufc was so busily engaged in getting out to save his life that he had no time to express himself.

He saved the next morning's milk by carrying it into the house as soon as he had got it. Before going to his work he tied the cow to a stake in the yard, thinking that the confinement in the shed made her uneasy. She could eafc grass, too, and thus contribute to her own support. When he came homo to dinner, he found the dinner not ready, the cow gone, and his wife abemt down with tho fever. Subsequent investigation discovered that the cow had torn from her fastening, and transferred her lunch to the garden, leaving the early cabbages in a rather dwarfed condition, the corn demoralised, and the halfdozen choice tomato plants in the agonie3 of dissolution. Mrs Mudge not being ablo 1o get the cow into the Bhed, had done the next best thing, and let her escape from tho premises.

Mr Mudge devoted the balance of the day to hunting up the economical beast, and found her about dusk, two miles from home, and also found that somebody had kindly milked her, to save her bag from caking, without doubt, which wos very gratifying.

The next day Mr Mudgo hunted up a pasture, and got her to it. When he went after her in the evening, he experienced the t-o-me shock felt by the venerable Mother Hubbard on exploring her premises for a bone. Tho cow hai escaped over tho fence, which she had knocked clown in the passage,- in order, presumably, to facilitate her return. Mr Mudge started to hunt her up, and wa3 Eoon gratified by getting a sight of her. This pleasure was considerably modified on a closer examination which revealed serious damage to both her' bag and teats, which were incurred in the leaps over tho fence. Mr Mudgo sat right down on a log, and fanned himself for half an hour. Then ho escorted his property home. The next morning there could be no milking done. There was but one alternative left, and that was the butcher, lhat individual did not want the cow, but he was a personal friend of Mr Madge, and he give him £i for her.

This wa3 but a loss of £2 in money, although there were 83 more for a day's work lost, and a trifle in early vegetables ruined. However, he had gob twelve quarts of good milk, which at 4d a quart amounted to 4s, which paid for a bo'tle of liniment to rub on tho foot she had stepped on, and left lid to be invested in whatever way he might see proper. Retired from tho " service " — A broken tea-cup. No well-regulated organist will play " What will the harvest he ?" for a wedding march. Various animals lend their mite to mako up the English language. For instance : — wian-age-menb, rfoff-inalism, cat-egory, eronology, <Z«c-tility, ratification, and so on.