ABOUT KRONKIKOLOGY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 2714, 9 December 1876, Page 3

ABOUT KRONKIKOLOGY.

You hare doubtless beard about "tho Bosom of destruction." Well, Air Bosom, of Third avenue, is not that kind of a man. He wouldn't destroy a grasshopper if ho oonld walk around or climb over the ineoot. His objocf. is to slide through life without hurting any <ino'a fedlings Or stepping on any one's . toes, They got a new hired girl at his house the other day j she had ponsivo eyes, a very quiot way, and soomod quietly religious. jje«om said she was just tho kind of a girl ho liked to sco around tho kitchen, and he flat* terod Mrs Besom for hor poroeption in reading hnfnan nature. SPhatT first evening the now girl caught Bosom in the pantry. He was on tip-toe, and hod just reached down a bottle from tba top shelf. He, started to put it back* hositated, and finally said : i . *. . "I wanted to warn you about this bottle. It oontains a fluid known as kronfcikology. J have to take a tip now and then for my liver, but it i» death to a well person. Don't never ,

touohtbis bottle, Augusta—don't oven smell! of theobrk." ' • The girl soon discovered that it was a bad oaso of liver complaint. At loast Mr Besom entered the pantry regularly three times per day, and after taking his " kronkikology " he always uttered a hearty " Ah ! urn 1" .Tho family didn't hear the breakfast bell yesterday morning at tho usual time, and after waiting a while Mrs Bosom entered tho kitohon to see what hod ooourred to delay tho meal. Sho found tho pensive hired girl lying on the floor,' no fire in tho stove and no meal under way... .... . - , - .- ,-. . - . "Erow— krbnki— krow—- - P^' muttered the girl... " The girl has a fit— the hired girl is dying!" exclaimed Mrs Besom as eho rushed through tho houso. Besom ran baok to tho kitohen with her, and as ho sniffed tho air in that. room and looked down upon tho pensive girl ho called out : < " Sho's been drinking gin !" " Youze liar!" ehoutod tho girl, securing a hold on the stove-leg to help her to her foot. " Get right out of here, you great big hired girl drunkard !" called Mrs Bosom. < " Yes, and tread up mighty* smart!" added Bosom. " Krow — kronk — kronkikology juz as nicoz shugar !"! stammored tho girl. " flowz liver complaiz, inizzer Besom P" "-JPiit her out!" shrieked tho wife. . " Puz who oxxz P All rizo — I'll go rizo ouz ,-~oh,ycz!" „' , She got hold of Mr Besom's shirt collar and and Mrs Besom's hair, and the oarpontors at work on a now house in the next lot heard so muoh direful noise that they felt oalled upon to go over to Bosom's. Thoy found tho three in a corner, ongagod in an earnest contest, and it took timo to tell whioh was who. The pensivo hired girl was oarriod dutsido tho gate, more sobor than when tho unpleasantness began, and as tho orowd stood on tho doorstep and shook tboir flats at her and threatened her, sho held fast to a Bhade tree and oalled baok : " Whnz thttz you oalled it, Mizzor Besom — knonbi— koonkikolag P Diz you fink I was a fool, Mizzer Bosom P Bo careful of your liver, Mizzer Bosom. JBozzorgo in 'fore you oatoh kron — kronk — kold!" Vi. :