VARIETIES.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 2164, 17 February 1875, Page 3

VARIETIES.

A young lady sent a note to her young man, asking at what timo he wonld cat], and received in reply :— " Deer Mairey— Oomen at nfpsstate."

" Now, George, brforc you go and play, nrc you quite sure you know the lesson Professor Borax gave you to learn ?" "Oh yes, mamma." " Well, now, what causes heat witkout light?" "Pickles." Just ns the uvnister was immersing a coloured convert, near Bangor, recently, the choir broke out—

" The morning light ia breaking, The darkness disappears." SomeboJy has written a bok entitled « What Shall My Son Be?" Upon which some one elso frankly replies, " If the boy is as bad as the book the chances are that he will be hanged." The following amusing incident occurred on the North London Railway. A short time siDce a passenger remarked fn th« hearing of one of the company's servants how easy it was to " do " the company, and said he had often travelled from Broad "street to D-ilton Junction without a ticket.—" Any one can do it— l did it yesterday." When he alighted he was followri by the official, who asked him how it was done. For a consideration he agreed to tell him. This b ing given, "Now," said the inquirer, "how did you go from Broad street to Oalston Junction yesterday without a ticket?" "Oh," was the reply, " I walked." Ha'-f a century ago, when the income of a Dissenting preacher was not very large, his -al*ry was often supplemented by a bountiful supply of provisions from the well-to-do members of hi* congregition. A Baptist minister in Herefordshire used at Christmas time to be positively inundated with hampers fl led with good things. On one occasion an enormous turkey was sent to him by the thoughtful kindnes> of a neighbouring farmer ; but, as the minister's family had already [.rovMed for the Christmas dinner, tho bird was sent in'o the market and sold. A paiser-by, seeing this fine specimen of poultry, said, " What a spl-ndid turkey ! Just the thinsr for the parson's Christmas dinner !" And to the " parson "it was sent. The prudent wife sent it a second time to the market, and sod it again for a h-indsotue sum. Another friend, similarly struck with the magnificent proportions of the turkey, purchased it, and also sent it to the" parson." Not wishing to fly in the face of Providence, the good man said at last, " It is very clear that the Lord moms us to have this turkey ;" and, with tho entire approbation of the family, it formel part of the Christmas dinner.