THE FASHIONABLE WOMAN'S PRAYER.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 1194, 15 December 1871, Page 3

THE FASHIONABLE WOMAN'S PRAYER.

By Josh Billings. Strengthen mi husband, and may hiz faith and hiz money hold out to the last. Draw the lambs-wool ov unsuspicious twilite over hiz eyes, that mi flirtations may seem to him like viktorys, and that mi bills may strengthen hiz pride in me. Bless, oh Fortune, my krimps, rats, and frizzles, and let thi glory shine on mi paint and powder. When i walk out before the gaiz of vulgar men, regulate mi wiggle and add nu grace to mi gaters. When i bow miself in wurship, grant that i may dv it with ravishing elegance, and preserve unto the last the lily-white ov mi flesh and the taper ov mi fingers. Destroy mine enemies with the gaul ov jealousy, and eat them up with the teeth ov envy all those who gaze at mi stile. Save me from wrinkles, and foster mi plumpness. Mil mi both eyes, oh Fortune, with the plaintive pizon ov infatuashun, that i may lay out mi victims, the men, as dumb az images graven. Let the lily and the rose strive together on mi cheek, and may mL neck swim like a goose on the buzzum ov krystal water. Enable me, oh Fortune, to wear shoes still a little smaller, and save me from korns and bunyons. Bless Fanny, mi lap dog, and rain down bezoma ov destruction upon those who would hurt a hair ov Hector, mi kitten. Smile, oh Fortune, most sweetly upon Dick, mi kanary, and watch over, with the fondness of a mother, mi two lily-white mice with red eyes. Enable the poor to shirk for themselves, and save me from all missionary beggars. Shed the lite ov thi countenance on mi kammel's hair shawl, mi lavendar silk, mi point-lace, and mi necklace by diamonds, and keep the moths out ov mi sable, I beseech thee, oh Fortune !