Varieties.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 745, 12 October 1870, Page 3

Varieties.

"What makes the miik so warm ?" sail Betty to the milk woman, when she brought her CKn3 to the door one morning. <- Pltasu mum, the pump handle is broke, and mi sm took the water from the biler." A careful mathematician, who has evidently plenty of time on his hands, has ascertained that the number of combinations of which the English language is capable is precisely 1,391,724,288,887, '252,999,425,128, 493,402,200. The only pun that President Grant ever made was the following : — A talkative waiter recently said to him — " We have potatoes, parsley, onions, tomatoes, asparagus, beets, spring chickens, strawberries — " "Stop, stop, atop 1 " exclaimed the President, "let us have peas!" (peace). He i 9 so pleased with this that he will never make another. A Michigan man and his wife, baring grown weary of each other, rec;ntly signed un agreement to dissolve the contract ; and the former sent it to the county clerk, with this explanatory note: — "This agreement has been maid and draud up betwixt my Self and Wife, and I doant now whether it is a corden to law or Knot, and I want you S "1 reCord it if it is lawful, and if it is knot draw won that is." The man who i§ paid to inrent anecdotes about Englishmen'for foreign papers has just written something about " Hempstead I " He says he saw on a placard in a field there, " Horses with long tail's taken in to grass at three shillings a week ; with short tails, two shillings a week." On inquiry the Frenchman found out that it was based on a shrewd calculation that horses with long tail a could switch off the flies and eat more than the short-tailed or fly-troubled ones.