Varieties.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 497, 21 December 1869, Page 3

Varieties.

_». A gentleman praising the generosity of his friend, observed, " He spends the money like water." "Then of course he liquidates bis debts," rejoined the other. A girl keeper of a toll-gate was asked by a swell velocipedist, who thought to " chaff " her.how much he had to pay. " That, sir," replied she, " depends upon whether you ride through the gate, or whether you get off your dandy horse and drag it through; because, in that case, every two-wheeled vehicle drawn by a horse or ass pays threepence." A servant girl in the town of A— — , whose beauty formed matter of general admiration and discussion, in passing a group of officers in the street, heard one of them exclaim to one of his|fellows," By heaven, she's painted!" Turning round, she very quietly replied, " Yes. sir; and by heaven only." The officer acknowledged the force of the rebuke, and apologised. A German weekly paper contains the following by a bereaved husband : — " * To-day red, to-morrow dead,' so it was with my wife, who only eight days ago was jumping over tables and chairs, yesterday all that was mortal of her was interred. She was during her marriage a lively woman, with whom one had to mind one's P's and Q's; therefore my sorrow may be imagined. So young, so festive, and already buried ! What is human life, said I repeatedly to myself all these days and again yesterday in the churchyard, when I paid the sexton, who will keep the grave in order. I shall certainly never find so cheerful a wife again; therefore my sorrow is just. I wish Heaven may keep every one from so sad a fate, and I thank for the floral decorations, as also the choirmatter for the funeral chant, which went through and through me, but was very well performed. — ■^— __— — _________________■________■ ■»_■