Varieties.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 110, 19 September 1868, Page 3

Varieties .

i> What's the difference between water and whisky ? — Men slip on the former when it is frozen, and on the latter when it isn't. )^*A critic, speaking of a young lady's vocalism, says, " We hang upon every not*." — " This," says a contemporary, "is a proof of the lady's remarkable power of execution." J? Flattery is a safe coin which our own vanity has made current, and which will never be out of credit as long as there are knaves to offer it, and fools to receive it. " What is de difference 'twixt a watch and a feather bed, Sam ?" " Duuno — gin it up." " Because de tickin' of de watch is on de inside, and de tickin' of de bed is on de outside." A Fond Parent, anxious that his infant son should be sharp in his wits and profound in bit thoughts, has sent him to sea, so that he may ha "rocked in tlie cradle of the deep." A short time since, a steamboat explosion on the Lower Mississippi blew a man's better half into the_b.usheft.-and eternity, whereupon the bereaved husband exclaimed, "Farewell, my much e-steamed wife 1" Dignum and Moses Kenn the mimic were both tailors. Charles Bannister met them under the Piazza in Convent Garden, arm-in-arm.. "I never see those men together," said he, " but they put me in mind of Shakespeare's/jomedy, Measure for Measure. "An Unloved Wife," who ought to know of that of whicli sho speaks, because sho has so much experience, says that the reason that ladies look so much to nioney, in tbe matter of marriage, is, that nowadays they so seldom find anything else in a man worth having.