Varieties.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 55, 17 July 1868, Page 3

Varieties.

_ »■ • . Tiim Pi'iniT ov tub Aob,— Whisky, An K.v.i'i.ainkii— A retired earpentor, Tiik Foutunu ov War.— l'rizo money. Judy knows a man so hard up that he even Bleeps on tick, Our landlord, who is misorly, is envious of tho Metropolitan Board of Works, becauso thoy hoard up so much property, A" Pray, don't put too many coals on Mary I It makos mc shiver whon I think that in three hundred years wo shall have nono left I" havo tho Unltod States Congress Impeached President Johnson ?— Perhaps boeauso thoy think of making him President ngain, nnd don't want to elect an untried man. •• Your young friend Wlgsby should bo a good lawyor," said Smith to Robinson } '•'at least ho bus a largo collection of law books, nobly bound," " Sir," said Robinson, "you appear to think that law is binding." Smith has offered a reward for the meaning. Tho watch of Sir John Sylvester, a Recorder of London, was one day stolen by a man whom ho had just tried und acquitted at tho Old Bailey for petty larceny. During the trial Sir John happened to aay aloud that he had forgotten to bring his watch with blm. Tlio thief noing acquitted, went directly to L»dy Sylvester, saying tho Recorder had sont him, with his love, and tho request that hor ladyship would Immediately send his watch.

Ono day, at the table of the late Mr Peas* (Dean of Ely), just as the cloth waa beln* removed, thu subject of discourse hippened to be that of an extraordinary mortality amongst tho lawyers, ''We have lost," said a gentleman, «-not less than six eminent b-» rl.iters in as runny months " The Dean, who was quito deaf, roso as hi* friend finished his remarks, and gave the comp.ny mrace :-— '• For this and every other mercy, tho Lord'i holy name bo praised." " Amollo. for thco—ycs at thy command I'd tear this eternal firmament into a thousand fragments— l'd Rather the star* one by ono as thoy tumbled Irom tlfo regions of ethereal space and put them into my trousers pockets t I'd pluck the sun—that oriental god of day that traverses the blue arch of heaven in such majistlo splen lour— Pd tear him from the iky and quench hie bright effolRoncoin thb fountain of^ ray -eternal love fot~7 theol ".. Amelia' : " Don't Henry, it would'? . Jic so very dark." .-", v' ft Two very gallant sons of Erin, being Jast & discharged from service, wero. rcjdclng. over I tbe event with a "wee taste of the cratur," f when one, who Mi atl the glory of bis noble * race, suddenly raised his pot above his head, nnd fliid, „r Arrah, Mike, hcre'a to the jralltnt ould 60th— tho last In the field and the first to I.ftve it." '"Tut, tut. man," said Mike, "yo don't mane that." «• You mane," and he rained his gbias high, and looked lovingly at it, " here's to tho gallant 69th, equal to none l " And ao they drank. X x. *