Varieties.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 53, 15 July 1868, Page 3

Varieties.

4 - Tlie Americans .steel in evading tbo Uwt, An Act was passed to prohibit tho (.laying at ninopina. A. soon as tho law whs put in force, it waa notified everywhere. " 2fcn* phis played here j" and they have been ; played everywhere ever since. •■ What part of speech is man ? " said a ( pedagogue to a sailor boy pupil. "Avert, air," replied tbo latter. v A verb is it ? " said the teach er $ "please give mo an example," "Man the yards?" was little Tarpaulin n le-jtaut response. -A „ Citiz.ns who bnvo a griovance, which they r think tho Borough Council ought to remedy, aro requested to tnko notico thnt tho beat way ■ to accuro at tuition is, to write a letter to the Council containing a few strong expressions, . especially tbe word " dUgraccf ul." • The Mayor will ordor the letter not to he recdved. The next step is,. to write a humblo apology,, .:* when tho Mayor will direct tho matter to be attended, to nt once. : , A enrpvnter who waa, always prognosticating evil to himself, was one day upon tbe roof of n fivc-stopy building, upon which rain hnd fallen. Tlie roof being slippery, ha lost . hia footing, nnd as ho was descending toward the enves, exclaimed, " Just ns I told you I " Catching, however, on an Iron spout, he kicked - oif his shoes, aiid regained a place of safety, when he thus delivered himself : "I knew it | there's a pair of shoes gone I " X^Sir," _aid 'a flerco lawyer, "do you, on v ybur solemn oath, declare this is not your * handwriting." " I reckon not," was tbo cold '-• reply. ''JJoes it resemble your handwriting ? '.' •* Yes, sir, I think it don't." -• Do yoa swear tliat it don't resemblo your handwriting ? " 44 Well, I do, old head/ -- You take your solemn- oath that this writing does not re- ' «omblo yours in a single letter?" "Y-e-at, - sir." v NoW, how do you know ? " ""Canjg I can't write." I '»Wn»BM--MBWMWB-B--M-a-aßa-WW-B»»«-«--a-W»-»M-W» !