Varieties.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 39, 29 June 1868, Page 3

Varieties.

mm A Face wirnooT a Btnuisn.— Tho face of Nature. vWiien is a shower liko a picco of leather . When it's adrivlng-rnln, jp Why does gold resemble bitter beer ? — ■Because It U frequently eoutalned In quarts, SOMETIIINO VKttY LIKELY.— That the flowers of speech apring from the root of the tongue. An inveterate old bachelor says that ship, arc called " she" becauso they always keep a man on tlio look-out. •■Poor little fellow, aren't you "cold?" said a pretty young lady to a newsboy, of whom she hnd just mado a purebaso " Yes ma'nm, before you smiled," was the gallant response An ugly young lady is always anxious to marry, and yonng gentlemen are seldom anxious to marry hor. This is a result of two mechanical powers, tho inclinod piano nnd leavo her (lever). A littlo girl was lately reproved for playing out-doors with iwys, aud lo formed that, being seven year- of age, she was M too big for that now." But, with nil imaginablo innocence, ehc replied, "« Why tlio b'gger we grow the better wo liko them." An OnsTiNATK PAurKn.— Parish doctor— " Woll, nurse, how go the patients ? " Nurse— " Oh, pretty well, -Sir , there's eleven dead," Parish doctor—" Movcn ! Only eleven f Why, I loft medicine for twelve" Nurse— •• Yes sir, I know » but ono wai so refractory bo wouldn't tako liis'n.— Judy, )( <• NEVEn," said Theodore Hook, "let man nnd wife play nt whist, There are always telegraphs-* and If they fancy their looks are watched, tbey can always communicata by words. I found out that I could never win of Smigsmag nnd ids wife. I mentioned this ono day, nnd wns nnswercd? " No, you never can win of them I '— 'Why? 1 said I. •Because, 11 said my friend, tbey havo e-tnhlished a code,'— 1 Dear mo I ' said I. * signals by looks ? "— *■ No,' said ho, by words. If Mrs Smigsning is to lead, Smigsmag s lys ; *' Dear, begin." Dear begins.;-- with <l d," so does diamonds, nnd out comes one from the lady. If lie h--n to 1-irtd, and she say**, **s, my love," she wants n spado. "Harriet, my dear,- bow long you uro sorting your cards." Mrs Smigsmng stumps down a heart, and a gentle " Come, my lovo," on cither side produces a club,'"