VARIETIES.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 33, 20 June 1868, Page 3

VARIETIES.

Vlt is said that an Ohioan, who beat his wife all night recently, waa arrested next morning, not for the beating, but for disturbing his neighbour's rest. A crusty old bachelor says that " Adam's wlfo was called Evo because, when she npponrcd, mnn'a day of happiness was drawing to a close," X A volatile young man at last married. "^Now, my dear," said his wlfo, "Ihopo you'll mend," "Madam," said ho, "depend upon it, this is my last folly." At a tavern In London recently tho following notice was exhibited : " Discussion this ovoning— 'Ritualism, to ho followed by songs and rcoltatlons,' " A young lady school teacher of Indianapolis,! was ono Sunday endeavouring to impress upon hor scholars tho torrlble effect of the punishment of Nobuchadnemr, She told them that for seven yoars ho ato grass just liko a cow, Just then a small boy asked, " Did ho givo milk ? " Wo aro not informod jas to tho teacher's roply. Tho Roy Dr Mason, of New York, passing up n roadway, stopped to read a theatrical [placard which attracted his ttention. jCoopor, tho tragediun, coming along, said to 'him, •■ Good morning, Sir,— do ministers of tlio gospel read suoh things ?" " Why not, 'Sir ?" said the dootor j " ministers of the (gospel havo a right to know what tho devil is about as well ns other folks." | An instaueo of connubial offcotion is narrated as ocourring lately in now Hampshire, A couple had quarrelled during tho whole long term of their married life. At last tho husband was taken 111 and evidently about to die. Ills wlfo cumo to his bedside, where, after sho had seen his condition, tho following colloquy ensued .— *•' Why, daddy, your feet aro cold, your hands nre cold, and your noso is cold." " Wa'al let urn be cold I" "Why, daddy, you're goln' to die!" "Wa'al, I guess I know what I'm 'bout!" '• Why, daddy, wats to becum of »«<J if you die? "Dunno, and don't carol Wat I want to know is, wats to becum of me?"