VARIETIES.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 30, 17 June 1868, Page 3

VARIETIES.

Loko Oz>r>a.-— Tall husband and short wife Tho latctt way to pop the question is to ask a lady if you ehnll see her to church. /3<An exchange wanta to know if, when young women blush mid weop, they can bo snid to rultfO a huo and cry. Au Irish absentee ia Bald to h*vo aont this comforting message to his steward— "Tell tho tonanto that no threats to shoot you will torrlfy mo." A preuy and wcll'drcisod young lady, after looking at aovornl pairs of glows, kveiiderjoloured, in a shop lately, shocked tho assist tain by nsking him which pair he thojght tho "lavcndorcat." A sailor «old an old lady an owl, pretending It wrtU ft parrot. " Win* Jack," fla-ya tho oM lady. " your parrot don T t talk," "No inarm," nays Jack, " iio don't talk much, but lio'a a (lofil to think," A writer in a Neapolitan noirspapor begins an account of tho eruption of Mount Vesuvius with tho remark that " Vesuvius has boen Raid on several occailona to bo dying out i if so, it must bo confessed that it dies vory hardi" Ho might have said even more than that, Vesuvius exhibits nothing of tho exhaustion which denotes old ago ; but on tho contrary, romains apparently actuated by all ltd youthful fire. Consider whether wo ought not to bo more in tho habit of Becking honour from our dcflcendants than from our ancestors $ thinking ' it batter to ho nobly romombored than nobly born j and striring so to livo that our sons and our sons' sons for ages to como might still load their children rcvcrcutly to tho doora out of which wo hivd been carried to tho grave, saying ; " Look, this was his house \ this was hit* chamber," The John Bull, n tcry respectable but rather dull paper, which just now acts as organ of tho high-and-dry branch of tho English Church, is greatly exerofoed by tho Quecn'a Journal, accuses Her Majesty of hay« embraced I'rcabytcrtanism, hints that she was brought up without a fnith, says otxnly that she married a Presbyterian— which is about as truo as to say that sho married a Dissonter— und wants a poiflO of bishops to tend in an affectionate remonstrance, certainly a sufficient puniahmotit for any lapse from orthodoxy even in a sovereign. Who was tho first Puritan ? Satan. Un. doubtodly that illustrious malignant was tho real original hUtorleally, as he is inotaphysi« cully tho truo typo of tho Puritanic character. Ho tats up tho banner of tho rovvH In Heaven because of hi* puritt notions. Thiugs wcro not dono m ho thought they should be, and ho determined to forco his principles on the majority— just as if ho had been in l\fns«achusctts; ho "agitated" and got himself thrown out of tho window, His name signifies tho Adversary, That la Puritanism, in a word. Puritans aro tho adversaries where orcr they arc.

|)< A Scotchman aoked i\n IrUhnmn, "Why aro farthiDgs coined iv England?" Pat'a answer ww ihh ; "To gl?c Scotchmen an opportunity ofsubacrlbinfj to charitable inati» tutione."