VARIETIES.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 26, 12 June 1868, Page 3

VARIETIES.

"^Whyistho early grass liko n penknlfo ? —•Becauso tho spring brings out tho blados. IfToo many mon no moro carry their religion Into their business than they would wear a llfe'prcflorvor in tho parlour. ; What is tho difference between nn editor nnd his wlfo?— Ono sots articles to rights, and ono writca articles to set, V No man Is a hero to his v-let," is an assertion of frequent occurrence. Has poor maligned man ever had tho courngo to hint that no woman is n horoine to her maid? fibre is an Oriontnl maxim, jnst translated; " If a man knows, and knows what lie knows, ho will lead a happy life. If * man docs not know, and knows that he does not know, ho mny lead a tolerable lifo. But if a ma« does not know, nnd doos not know thnt ho docs not know, ho will lead n njisorablo lifo I" yAt tho Nowcastle Quarter -Sessions a question arose whether the building occupied by a Scetoh draper was a shop or simply a houso. Tho ltccorder asked him by way of test, *• If I were to walk in and ask you for a yard of silk, would you soli it mo ?" The canny Scot replied," That would depend upon whether I thought I could trust ye," When Whitfield preached before the seamen at Now York, ho used tho following bold npostropho i 4< Well, my boys, wo havo a clear sky, and nro making flno headway over a smooth sen, heforo a light breeze, and we shall soon lose sight of land. But what means this sudden lowering* of tho heavens, and the dark cloud arising out of tlio western horizon ? Hark I don't, you hoar distant thunder 1 Don't you sco thoso flashes of lightning I A storm Is gathering I Every man to his duty! How the waves rise and dash against the ship ! The nir is dark I Tho tempest rages I Our masts nro gono I Tho ship is on hor beam ends I What next?" The unsuspecting tars suddenly roso nnd exclaimed, ■■ Take to the long-boat I"