PARS ABOUT PEOPLE

Observer, Volume XL, Issue 26, 28 February 1920, Page 10

PARS ABOUT PEOPLE

"TYEAKIN AVENUE" writes:— Off to England on business bent. Mr. E. A. Tanner, otherwise "Ted," of the firm of Tanner Brothers, Wellington. Ted's portly form is well known in Auckland, but of late brother Victor has done the northern round.

Interesting family, too. Frank, Ted. and Victor, thirty years ago, with their mother (widow of a .London professor of languages), settled down on a wallee section at Mildura (Vie), when the voice of the Yankee irrigationists, Chaffey Brothers, boomed across the world —the intention being to grow the purple grape and the golden orange. Ted, the future portly New Zealand merchant, slew the rabbit per poison, grubbed the sturdy stump, and swung the gleaming axe, but in those ihalcyon da,ys the irrigation people often forgot to pay the workers' wages, and the whole settlement lived on credit, grapes, oranges, pumpkins—and wine.

It is interesting to recall the fact that a pair of working boots could then be had for 2s. 6d., and a suit of reach-me-downs for a pound, while a forequarter of mutton or a leg of the same (delivered ten miles from the township) was sixpence. Another curious feature of Mildura was that new settlers often brought their houses (in sections) from England, or elsewhere. Prohibition reigned! In fact, it rained wine at 2s. a gallon. Beer sold freely at 2s. 6d. a bottle, and a river steamer on one trip took 250,000 empty bottles away. The climate was very dry—and so were Mildurians.

Inability to impress the irrigationists with the fact that wages owing ought to be paid, induced the Tanners and many others to hit the trail. Ted. and another subsequent New Zealander (now almost respectable) carried the painful swag very many hundred miles, and the person now almost respectable, leaving an old swagman at Newcastle before coming to New Zealand asked him about this country. 'If yer wants ter get on in Pig Island, he said, "the first thing you do when you land —join a church."

"Lex" writes; For a gent suffering from cerebral thrombosis, Woodrow Wilson is, maybe, the world s eighth wonder, and I assume that he has an adept stenographer. Ihe earth seems to have halted respectfully while Wilson got through with his illness, but it seems that when he is most ill he is putting up a world's tvpewnter record.

The °reat American jerked out on the celebrated keys the message that "America is too proud to fight," when there was a lash aplenty and to spare. Now the world is comparatively bloodless the.great stenographer is ready to fight the hull darned world lone-handed, The great world has been sorry that the big President has been ill, but at little thought that "cerebral thrombosis" was another term for rattling the sabre.

"Isadore" writes: That bunch of cheerfulness, Mr. D. C. Bates, Government Meteorologist—(Beg pardon, Mr. Bates one should say Dominion Meteorologist), has been adding much to the gaiety oi nations since hie return to his. duties, alter having shown meteoroloeoeteras on the other side of the Globe how to do things.

The Wellington papers have been giving voice to the, little man's views on every topic on the face of the earth ever since. That is. on every subject but the one on which he is qualified to speak, for on the question of the work of the Conference he was sent to attend not a line has he let loose.

Not even the most innocent remark there anent have the Wellington scribes been able to glean from him apparently. But on little matters like the righting of the world after the war, how to overcome the housing shortage and the impossibility of securing cement from overseas—well, he has explained all that. Really, Daniel Cross Bates, you, or the papers, ought to take a pull.

Captain Charles J. Smith, of the Imperial Forces, but formerly in the employ of Messrs. Williams . and Kettle, at Napier, died in London recently. Formerly he was a wellknown identity in Napier, and in view of his splendid war service, his death was most untimely.-

Captain Smith served with the New Zealand Forces through the Boer war, and later returned to Africa, where he was engaged in the diamond business in German South-West Africa,trekking through the whole of the interior of the country in connection with his work. On the outbreak of the Great War he was interned as a prisoner of war by the German authorities, who, however, continued to treat him with every kindness.

On the taking of the colony by General Botha, Captain Smith was released,and proceeded to Cape Town to join up with toe Britieli F«rcttj.

Aβ an officer in the Bth South African Infantry, he took part in severe fighting in the East African campaign. Invalided from East Africa, he, with other South African officers, went to England and joined the Imperial Forces for service in France, where he took part in the last fighting of the war.

Since then Captain Smith, owing to his knowledge of the German language, has been very strenuously employed in assisting with the repatriation of German and Polish prisoners in England, France, Flanders, and on the Rhine, his.services all through meeting with the appreciation of the British authorities. Captain Smith was visited with a return of the illness contracted dur-

ing the East African campaign, and passed away in a hospital in London, his younger sister being with him. His elder sister is Mrs. James Hislop, of Napier. He was accorded a military funeral.

English lawyers want to know if the late Hyde Kelso Learoyd, once of Rotorua, had any children, and if one or any of them are alive, and the enquiry necessitates some interesting details about this Southport man who was killed while serving with the N.Z.E.F. on Pasehendaele Ridge on October 4th, 1917.

The late Mr. Learoyd was the youngest son of Mr. Sam Turner Learoyd, who resided in Southport for many years. For some time prior to 1900 the said Learoyd was in the employ of Parrs' Bank, Ltd., Southport, but h© volunteered for service in the South African War and remained abroad for two years. After a short interval in England

be returned to South Africa, and after a period of service with the South African Constabulary, entered the service of the Bank of South Africa at Benoni, where he remained until his return to England in 1909. In the year 1911 he emigrated, to New Zealand, and was best known in Rotorua.

Our spiritual welfare is to be largely left in the hands of the lesser lights, and New.Zealand is to become partially bishopless. Wβ are to be bereft of Dr. Averill (Bishop of Auckland), Dr. Sprott (Bishop of Wellington), and that beloved rebel, Dr. Julius (Bishop of Christchurch). These three aprons and six gaiters will be seen at the Lambeth Conference in London, at which the fate of the Church in all lands will be decided with an Archbishop in the chair. .

One forgot to say that Dr. Se&gwick (Bishop of Waipu) would g*>, too—so there will be a clearance. Pretty good hands at their trade, these four New Zealand bishops— the three, Drs. Averill, Julius, and Sedgwick, being stalwart physical specimens with a suggestion of sword under the cassock, and all of whom would look perfectly natural in "tnr hats."

Dr. Sedgwick is a mere infant as bishops go. Dr. Sprott is far from bishop-like in appearance or even in accent. A frail, pale man, with a scholarly eye and traces of a provincial accent. Never learned the Oxford drawl or the Cambridge bleat; sedulously studentiferous, and probably hears the world going by without seeing it. It's good for cherished clerics hemmed in from the rough world to see a few people—and there are plenty in the vicinity ot Lambeth.

By the way, Lambeth is in the South-west (Surrey side) of London, and Lambeth Palace has been the official residence of the reigning Archbishop of Canterbury for centuries. It also was the district in which the once famous Vauxhall Gardens were situated. Then, ot course, there's the Zoo.

Egypt has given up the last New Zealander, and Lieut.-Col. D'Arcy Chaytor, C.M.G., 0.8. E., is the one. D'Arcy arrived at Dunedin by the Wahine after upwards of five years' administrative toil with the troops, loaded with C.M.G.'s and 0.8.E.'s orders of the Nile, etc. He was on biz bent in Blighty when the bugle blew, and joined up the Navy part of the Antwerp outfit, subsequently transferring to the N.Z.M.R. Brigade in Egypt, where) he has seen that no other naughty troops pinched the perquisites of the fighting Fernleaves.

Besides long service in two wars, D'Arcy has the additional distinction of being own brother to MajorGeneral Sir E. W. C. Ghaytor, commandant in New Zealand. He is an acute business man.

! David Ernest Hutchins, living in Wellington, New- Zealand, who is now Sir David, is probably the first exponent of the lure of forestry we have known engaged on intimate work on our own forests, says Melboiirne "Punch." A member of the British Scientific party which visited the Commonwealth a few years ago, and a personal friend of Sir Ronald Munro Ferguson, he has made for the Imperial authorities some fine conclusive renorts on our Australian woods and forests, and has also done the same work for Tasmania and New Zealand. A well-educated Englishman, and a Fellow of the Boyal Geographical Society, there was some talk of his being appointed chairman of the Forests Commission in Victoria —the job now held by Owen .Tones. But Sir David Hutchens is not a young man, and was probably thought at sixty too old for tke position.

One gathers that Sir Henry Galway, ex-Governor of South Australia, is not the kind of individual that one would transform into a "Sir Harry." Just at present he is doing a little tour of New Zealand, after having retired from the service of the Imperial Government abroad. One would not have had one's attention directed to him had it not been for an amazing statement he is reported to have made to a "Dominion" reporter in Wellington the other day.

Such is the custom in this country that anyone having a handle to his name is immediately rushed by the reporters for his views on anything or nothing in particular. Anyhow, the knighted Galway was interviewed briefly by a "Dominion man with the following astounding resiilts: —The Prime Minister (said the visitor) was very kindly making out a little itinerary of travel to extend over next week, which would probably include a visit to the thermal country. He was not very keen on sightseeing, he was afraid, being somewhat blase after so much of it during his life, but he was interested in New Zealand as a country. Poor old chap! One does hope he won t go off to sleep when watching the beastly geysers. Really in these times of crisis the Empiah could not possibly afford to lose such a travelled man. ® 0 @ Mr. C. J. McKinnon, of"the Scottish accent and the explosive laughter was lately in Auckland getting a breath of fresh air after pushing a pen for Wellington "Dominion" . for eleven years or more. "Wi," as he is universally called, on account of his pocket size, is one of those rare birds, a newspaper man with originality—although naturally he has very seldom been permitted to indulge in this hideous offence against New Zealand newspaper convention. . • ' ' .. • ■ . • ■. . • "Wi" was a schoolmaster who quitted the profession with . rosecoloured views,' and the loveliness of making the earth think, with a mere drop of ink. The view changes with indulgence in the ink-splashing trade. Any Way, the McKinnon has quitted staff journalism for freelancing, and hopes to wrest a hard-earn-ed crust. The other day "Dominion" nibs crowded round Mac and pressed a few gifts on him. He thanked them, burst out laughing, buried his blushing face in the flowing lemonade.

r 'Wonk" writes: Littk does the innocent public know how very nearly the trip of the great ones of the New Zealand Parliament to Samoa and other Pacific Islands was made a ghastly failure. At one stage of the proceedings, namely, •on the morning of the day on which the Mokoia was to sail, no less a personage than John P. Luke threatened that he would not go! You don't know who the gentleman is? Horros!!! He is the Mayor of the Empire City of Wellington, and all that sort of thing. And the reason for his awful threat?

Well, it seems that the cabin allotted to him was not to his liking. (Yes, it does sound rather like what one was accustomed to in the days of one's childhood: "Yah, if I can't be the driver I won't play in your old game of horses. See!" * * «

One gathers that the trouble was smoothed over at the last moment for John P. Luke was among the departing heroes. But it really does seem about time that some of our public men realised that the best way in which to crush one's dignity is to stand on it. What?

Mr. W. E. Leadley, of Christchurch, has become immortal by having given birth to an Idea. And it is clear that Mr. Leadley loves soldiers. He suggests that Christchurch «x-soldiers shall meet the Prince of Wales at Lyttelton, manhandle his carriage, and drag it over the Port Hills to Christchurch!

Mi , . Leadley, who w,as, one believes, neglected when 0.8.E.'s were served out, should be given one immediately, and if a couple of clasps can be added this should be done. They used to do that sort of thing witli convicts in ancient days, and it would be a revival of early colonial picturesque customs. Mr. Leadley, of course, may have been a soldier, in which case he will remember the old-time delight of standing rigidly to attention while some politician with nothing to say yelled it at the troops for two hours

and wondered why men who afterwards won V.C.'s and a ration of biscuits, fell fainting to the earth. * * *

Mr. Leadley might extend the draught-soldier idea. Hβ could buy a couple of plough teams for hillside work from the Canterbury R.S.A. Should he be successful in his Lyttelton to Port Hills to Christchurch stunt would he be in favour of presenting each draught-soldier with his collar, hameSj tugs, and chains, and having the whip presented ,to the Hagley Park Museum? »

William E. Johnson (otherwise "Pussyfoot") is the immensely brave American prohibitionist who invaded damp Britain and strove to dry it. The American man simply doing the job he was paid for, stirred up a nest of students at an ioe-water meeting, and a chance missile, thrown by an irresponsible (and unidentified) youth, destroyed the lecturer's eye. Previous to this most deplorable event, Johnton had been regarded with more or less contempt, but once he had been damaged he became a national hero. This, unfortunate American gentleman, blinded for his principles, has become a personage for whom nothing Great Britain can supply is too good.

Leaving these shores next month for "The Smoke," one of New Zealand's best known Ministerial private secretaries, Mr. William Crow. It seems that in addition to his re-cently-announced request for an officer from the Treasury to strengthen the financial side of his office,, the High Commissioner some time ago asked for an experienced New Zealand officer to strengthen the staff of his public office, known as the Library and Information Bureau, and the Government has selected Mr Crow.

Joining the Post and Telegraph Department as.a boy, Mr. Crow served in various branches of that Department until 1893, when he was transferred to the secretarial staff, where he has had continuous service

ever since. On a number of occasions he accompanied Ministers abroad, and in 1915-16 he acted as Secretary to Col. the ah—Hon. Sir Heaton—ah —Rhodes, on his mission as Commissioner to the New Zealand Expeditionary Force in Egypt, Malta, and Gallipoli. Mr. and Mrs. Crow will leave for London next month by the "Athenic."

That quaint old bean, John D. Rockfeller, who, if he turned nasty, could stop every oil-driven engine in New Zealand and . even humble the—ah—Auckland —vm — Automobile Association, has just made it right for a, warm corner in heaven, by completing £100,000,000 (one hundred million pounds) worth of gifts. The latest picture of John shows him to be a thin old dear, with a metal visage and an inquisitive and acquisitive nose. He shows all the stigmata of a professional dyspeptic, and has. more lines on his countenance than there are between Philadelphia and 'Frisco. Speaking to Mr. Cecil Warrington, of Dunedin, who was in America last year, Golden John was asked wistfully, "I suppose, sir, you could buy anything you want?" "No, sir," rapped out John T>., "I can't buy a new stomach."

It isn't often a charmed constituency exudes a purse of sovereigns to its M.P. before he has had his legs under the benches, of the House, but Wellington South (the Prohibition suburb) rejoiced Colonel George Mitchell, D.5.0., with a bunch of notes lately, probably as a thank-offering for deliverance from George's illustrious predecessor "Bob."

Little Cousin Jack Luke, Mayor or "Windy," is not notable as a humorist, as he has been in the iron trade ajl his life, but he said that George "would make himself heard in Parliament." Indeed, a silent George is unthinkable. He himself admits that he made himself heard as a youth by his powerful oratorical performance of "Baker!" called over the housewives' fence. Incidentally, George's real object in Parliament is to siapply bread for all mouths—and to perdition with the profiteers.

George poured out his political soul as a thank-offering for the purse and incidentally pushed a bayonet into the Samoa trip. And George also said that all workers deserved more than their wages, at which Cousin Jack Luke and his bearded brother Charles of the Legislative Council started visibly,ajid Mr. Hannah, of boot fame, who is in reality the Duke of Westminster in regard to Wellington property, shudderetl.

George regretted that he wae surrounded with apathy on all sides, but he doesn't know -what apathy really is likjjjLtill he sits on those benches.