PARS ABOUT PEOPLE

Observer, Volume XL, Issue 13, 29 November 1919, Page 10

PARS ABOUT PEOPLE

REV. JASPER CALDER, who is at present in the Chatauqua circuit doing a popular lecture .stunt, is likely to go to America to do Chatauqua* work there. He has his own way of doing things. When he first went on the platform he looked around, and said, "Well, ladies and gentlemen, I don't feel quite comfortable —there's something missing—oh, I know what it is—it's the pulpit. Hang on a bit while I■. build one," and the rev. gent, hauled half a dozen chairs into a ring and built his pulpit. Then, standing behind the improvised rostrum, he went full steam ahead. *® 9 9 , The death of Mr. Martin Murray, Town Clerk of Napier, has resulted in the appointment of Mr. John Dick to the vacancy. Mr. Dick was born near Bothwell Castle in Scotland, and sailed early in life with Ins parents for New Zealand, arriving in Christchurch when four years of age. Mr. Dick took to the legal profession, joining the .itaff of Messrs Williams and Millton. In 1897 Mr. Dick entered into an engagement with Mr. F. 08. Loughnan, solicitor, of Waipawa and Hawke's Bay, and arrived just after the big flood on Easter Monday, 1897. He re* mained with Mr. Loughnan until the latter left the district, when Mr. Dick joined the legal staff of Mr. E. H. Lee, of the same town. t » * AVhen the late Mr. Murray, who was the clerk to the Waipawa County Council, was appointed Town Clerk of Napier, Mr. Dick was appointed Clerk to the Waipawa County Council in his place. In June, 1916, Mr. Dick exchanged positions with Mr. N. M. Wotton, who was then assistant Town Clerk at Napier, and Mr. Dick has held tho position ever since. © @ © "Analy.it" writes: 1 have read tho recent fulminations of the Rev. .J. J. North about the evils of racing in New Zealand, and the only thought that occurs to me is, "What does North do for a sin?" It occurs to me also that there are in New Zealand 1,250,000 people walking towards Hell, and a couple of hundred Norths soaring towards Heaven. Will you mind my saying that I don't want to soar? North and his kind (for whom I have the deepest respect) are absolutely normal in every regard except their inordinate desire for what we call "limelight." * * * North would take just as much money if he did his funny little clerical job without "singing out" so loud—and if you will permit mo to be so rude North does his annual hysterical stunts about races for money. I don't '.suppose "J.J." .makes much money, but he acts the gyrating tragics simply for the boodle he extracts from his caperings. He will privately deny it, but I will refer him to the remark of that excellent parson, St. Paul, if he has ever read the gentleman referred to. May I say in passing that I would rather have one cursing Bill who Avould lay down his life for a pal m the bush or the mine than thirteen cursing Norths, who believe everybody is bound for Hell who goes to a racecourse. The. Norths and society make me 'more tired than I can say. I always advise -persons in blouses to "pass by 'on the. other side" (if I may be so bold).

Mr. John Collins is the lucky chap who. has scored the rich billet of Secretary for Industries and Com-merce—official--head of a new Department. .-. John, is the black-hair-ed son of his pa, and he was Andrew, the Wellington baker, celebrated in Seddonian days for vigorous labour -activities and arbitration affairs. John of the dark-eye has had no difficulties in.life; has, in fact, gone' from'official height , to height without trouble. He has-been

There recently died in Wellington, to the deep, regret of very many people, Dr. Edith Huntley. - When Dif. Huntley first- went to Wellington from India- she attracted great attention, lady'doctors being rare, and Dr. Huntley, caring nothing for sartorial -conventions. This gifted lady had been for many years a medical •officer in the Zenanas of India, had travelled a great deal, and in such garb :as was most .convenient to her life..: -She told present writer that

chief clerk and registrar of Indus- in alt her strenuous professional catrial Unions. He knows (officially) reer in Indian villages, and Zenanas, all that is to be known about La- she had never met with anything bou'r matters, and recently had a but the politest treatment from offiglorious jaunt to Australia, where ho Vials or natives, although she often officially enquired into the cost of found herself the only "mem-sahib" living; although what the price of among millions of black people. In butter in Boolangalla had to do with AVellingtOn she used to ride a bicycle the price of butter in Poneke -no —on which she often carried a large man knoweth. Still it was a good string kit, and was generally actrip. He was secretary to the New compahied by one or two large NewZealand Cost of Living Commission, foundland dogs. She belonged to which took voluminous notes about Cheltenham (Gloucestershire), where the cost, but didn't decrease it in her people still reside. Before the any way. Mr. John Collins is a war she was in partnership with annative of Wellington, a very neces- othe lady doctor,. Miss Yon Daririesary qualification if one wishes to villi who, however, was interned, rise from £ to £ on the ladder of find released on parole, on account life. of failing health.

Sincere condolences will go to Mr. Charles Henry Olive, for practically on the eve of his golden wedding i his wife has died, eighty-one years old. * * * Mr. Olive is one of the early builders of Auckland, and before he came here, upwards of half a century ago, his life was on the sea. He is of the hardy old pioneering stock from sunny Devonshire, and while he was on the sea he saw many things. The most vivid of these seafaring recollections of his. was the British, French, Dutch, and American expedition that forced Japan to open her ports to the trader. After this business he came here in '65, and went down to Thames', where he toiled and speculated a little before it was proclaimed a goldfield in . '68. * * * Then he went back Home and brought his sweetheart out from Cornwall, and they landed in comfortable time to watch the Great Slump. Auckland was dead then, and Mr. Olive and his partner went up north and were "cockatoos" for a while. Twenty years ago they came back here, and he took to building again. He is a retired builder now, and has a married son. ® <$ <$ The British War Office is a rum old bird, and does not forget much that is worth remembering. People in New Zealand are still receiving portions of the kits of their sons and other relatives who were killed in action years ago. A curious case of the never-forget War Office is that of a local lady who applied for separation from a husband who had deserted her long ago and returned to Africa, where he had been a soldier. The War Office couldn't tell the lady anything about the gentleman's services in the last war, but could tell her that he was a Commissioner of Police in Nigeria! • a m Another case of the long memory of the War Office is that of an Auckland field officer who distinguished himself on Gallipoli. When wounded and lying in hospital in London ho received communications from the War Office headed with his regimental number as. a private in a New Zealand regiment in Africa .twenty years before! Apparently there is no chance of a man losing himself if once the British War Office has him entered up. The New Zealand War Office is similar in some respects. Its memory is so fine that in the war years it often called on a man long dead to parade aud be punished for not going to fight. $ © ® Sergeant A. T. Prosser, who sailed with the 7tb Reinforcements, returned to New Zealand by the Arawa last week with an English bride, and the pair were warmly entertained on arrival at Devonport. Sergeant Prosser was prominently connected with scout and territorial movements before the war, and has served for over four years with the army. He sailed with the * New Zealand Rifle Brigade, and has been with the A.S.C section since he departed from New Zealand. ©® ® • Mr. R. Sukuna, son of a native member of the Fiji Legislative Council, and a descendant of one of the great Fijian chiefs, passed through Auckland last week. He leaves by the Remuera for England, where he is to study law. Before the war Mr. Sukuna was a student at Wanganui College, and later went to Oxford. He served with the Foreign Legion in France—a workkfamed corps—in which. so' many soldiers of fortune fought. Mr. Sukuna was wounded, and he returned to Fiji, but is. again bound for the Old World to continue his studies.

Mr. Guy Marriner, son of the New Zealand Insurance Manager, and a well-known 'Ancklander, has been appointed an aides-de-camp to the Governor of Fiji. Mr. Marriner is an old Wanganui College boy, and was in the Kohimarama flying school, preparing for service with the aviation corps, when the Armistice was signed. ■ ■ <SS ® ® ' Lord Fisher is willing to weave the rope to hang him. He is a Lord of the Admiralty, and he wants the British Navy abolished in favour of a naval air force. The British Navy must take wing, .well, *»"- bert was prophetic; didn't he write: "The British tar is a soaring soul, as free as a mountain bird? And a new version if a great old sea poem is suggested by a clever parodist in Melbourne "Punch":— Ye mariners of England who guard our native seas, You brave above the rolling cloud the battle and the breeze; Your glorious biplanes launch again to* match another foe, , As you sweep up the steep, where the stormy winds do blow, ; Where the battle rages long and loud, and the stormy winds do ; blow. © © © [ Rival factions in Wellington are still wrangling about the re r ap- , pointment of the professor ot modern languages, George William Yon ■, Zedlitz, who had the job from about 1906 to 1914, and was then . blown out by the war. Yon. Zedlitz was educated at Oxford, and mar- > ried an .Englishwoman, but his fatal j mistake' seems to have been that he never became naturalised, and < when the Hun threw down the ( gauntlet George, who was m. Wei- < lington, said his proper place was , in the Vaterland fighting for the < Kaiser (or words to that effect). Why , didn't he go? Because he. wasn't al- ' lowed to. If he wasn't allowed to, , why wasn't he interned? a- a * 1 Don't know! What happened was < that the Victoria College Couincil were bound to deprive him of his < job on patriotic grounds, but 11 handed him a little present of £700 j to heal his wounds. They are still roaring about Yon Zedlitz m Wei- < lington. Presumably, either they have had a substitute professor since \ 1914, and if this is so he will be a British subject. The point is, why t sack a,British teacher to give a Ger- ( man teacher his job—eh? If the < College has stopped modern lan- ( guages for four years, why revive ,< them simply to give Yon a job? ! © © ® 1 It is evident New Zealand will < not again see Major-General Sir ( Alec. Godley, who has relinquished < his command of the N.Z.E.F. As ( the New Zealand home command is < to be given to Sir Edward Chaytor , when Sir Alfred Robin retires, it is ' also evident that Sir Alec has larger , fish to fry. * * * J For some reason or other Sir Alec j Godley is not popular in New Zealand, although it is obvious that if < New Zealanders earned undying fame, the General who planned their < movements earned undying fame, too. At any rate, Godley is im- ] mensely well thought of at British headquarters, and it is rumoured J that an Indian command will fall to him. < <SS # ® ' Mr. Charles H. Poole, who is re- ! tiring from politics, at least tern- > ( porarilyv is doing so because he is > not in *first-class health. It is curi- -, ous that when "Charlie" announced « this there was loud laughter, the ( cheerful audience evidently believ- ' ing that if a man is fat and rosy , and smiling he must necessarily be in Al fettle.

The Liberals gave us a shove, a shove: The Tories said always, " Wait " ; The Liberals welcomed us in with love; The Conservatives slammed the gate! , So we learned from the Liberals, fought for them too, In the great political war, Until we became, in fact and name, The intelligent blokes we are— The sensible blokes — The teachable blokes— The'intelligent blokes we are! The Socialists came, and they preached, they preached— Great Scot! How they screamed and raved— That we, the masses, must fight the classes, Or else be for ever enslaved! They dragged us out of the Liberal team, They hitched us on to a star, And we soared, and soared, and became (0, Lord!) The unpractical coves we are— l The Equality coves— The Brotherhood, coves — The impossible coves we are! Then agitators came thick, came quick, With doctrines both strange and new— The I. double W. (work needn't trouble you!) Also the 0.8. U. Our life, they said, should be one long strike, And we each should-ride'in'a car! Oh, "the stuff was hot, but we swallowed the lot, Like the gullible gobs we are— The gas-bag gobs— The gullible gobs— The gobbling ; gobs we are. So we played the game of the strike, the strike; We also played "Go Slow." The people complained; but, sacred Mike! Who are THEY, we should like to know? v 'Let them go," we said, "without coal or bread!" We gave them a nasty jar, And we had our way, with a pound a day, Like the elegant coves we are! The gentleman coves— The arrogant coves — The elegant coves we are! And next there burst on our sight, our sight, The foreign Anarchist crew— Some Huns, disguised and Russianised — And they spouted till all was blue: -•"You can't be checked, if you act direct, And defy every bolt and bar!" By their fierce tirade we were speedily made The Bolshevist blokes we are— The blustering blokes — The bounceable blokes— s The Bolshevist blokes we are! So wo stop all Industry's wheels—and meals: We are top-dogs how, by Gosh! And'we heed not the half-starved children's squeals, For the Huns say that's all bosh! Oh, they never said "Revolution," nor "Force," Nor "Anarchy," nor "Class War"; But we knew what they meant, and over we went To the Anarchist brutes they are— The barbarous' brutes— The bellicose brutes— The Anarchist brutes they are! But, strange though it seems 'tis true, 'tis true, Our visions grow dim and melt. ' In the strife that rages, Prices' beat Wages, And we've had to tighten our belt! So crowds of us now have resolved to ride In the grand old Liberal car, And "bur votes will go to good SIR JOE, In the present election war, j— Like the sensible chaps— Aw The loyal chaps— ■ The intelligent chaps we are! !

Mr. Poole has done no harm to New Zealand politics—he has been bold and' facile in" his speech,' looked after his electorate, and has considered no work too hard for the,folk who sent him to Parliament. Mr. Poole's, American method of. speech is one of his peculiarities, seeing that he is not an American, but an Australian! He has evidently picked it up in his travels, and finds it effective in telling his story. ® -® ' ® It would be interesting to know who "killed" that genial Irish scholar, Mr. J. W. Joynt, M.A., formerly Registrar of the New Zealand University, and of late years holding the sinecure of* "agent for the New Zealand University in London. * * * Mr. Joynt was reported dead, the possibility being that some person bearing a similar name was the victim of the grisly dart. It is cheering to know that he is still going strong at the age of 67. A Trinity College double gold medallist, the old scholar came to New Zealand for his health, and became Principal of Nelson College in 1889. © © © Amalgamation jis the watchword of the hour, and the news that the percolating Joels, African diamond millionaires, have bought a bunch of the most famous English cotton affairs, gives one a feeling that sooner or later nobody will be able to afford to buy anything, and that Solly and his brother, as -well as all other vast amalgamations, may come a cropper. * * * It would, be a dreadful thing for a great concern with, say, £100,000 in its pocket, to wake up some fine morning and find it had only fifty millions to go on with. The fashion of amalgamating for the further punishment of the wearer and eater is even common to New Zealand, where late enterprise has shown that in a few years' time the common or garden man will be happy to be able to purchase a flour bag suit and a pair of scrim socks. © © © There died at Mangere lately a good old colonist in the person of Mr. Adam James Dickey, an Irishman, who went to Australia from Antrim in the early days, and went in for the romantic life of a police trooper on Gold Escort when that job was punctuated with rifle shots from bushrangers, and men generally were in the raw. * * # He came to Auckland as far back as 1852, and finding that intelligent and educated men were in short supply, got a job in the Colonial Secretary's office, and subsequently held many positions under Government for many years. He was finally Registrar in the Native Lands office. ,He was a J.P. from the days of Sir Frederick Whitaker, and died after a useful life at the great age of 85 years. ©. © © The papers have supplied two notable examples of hard hitting from the platform this week, the platform usually being the place where men talk against time on subjects thrashed to pieces years ago. One is from Monsignor O'Reilly, "The women Avho went to balls and theatres and moved in so-called, modern society were appearing in such a condition that any man with a spark of modesty could not visit them without feeling ashamed. He» could not help thinking that some of the men who came back blinded from the front had compensations." * * * The other is from that perfervid politician, G. W. Russell, who when a man laughed at a reference to the "flumonia" retorted: "The man who would laugh at such a subject would sharpen a knife on . his mother's tombstone to cut his father's throat with."