A NEW DISEASE.
GREAT SENSATION!
ANEW Disease has recently been discovered by the Medical faculty of the Dominion of New Zealand. Great consternation has been caused among the civilian population at finding this deadly disease, more prevalent amongst Returned Soldiers. For tho present, Medical men are calling the Disease "GRATUITYHTS." The origin of the disease is supposed to be The National Exchequer. Cause of the Disease:—The cause of the disease is an overflow of Bawbees to the patient, irritating and sometimes causing an overflow of the G.P.0.5.8. duct. Symptoms.—The symptoms are usually, diminution of appetite, and stimulation of the drinkatite. The patient in the early stages of the disease, has tremendous activity in the right arm (if right handed), in the left (if left handed). The arm moves up and down, exercising the elbow and the fingers, in an alarming manner, the fingers opening and shutting on the hand in such a convulsing "way, that some sort of grip has to be given.(Preferably a glass or bottle). Dryness of the throat and parched and cracking lips, are also symptoms. In the later stages patients get light-headed and frequently stagger, often mistaking lamp posts for old dead and gone friends. Another symptom is Hardening of the skin across the abdomen somewhere, in the region of the diaphragm. In the more advanced stages this skin gets blistered and corns begin to appear. Finally the patient collapses and is brought into hospital. Treatment: —Early to bed, and made to stay there, should be the motto for everyone suffering in this' way. Calomel logns. should be given half-hourly, punctuated at hourly intervals with a dose of Mag. Sulph., loz in each dose. Mist Gent Alk, should be given the patient as a beverage, and in. a bad ease the acid may be used. This may be given by the bucketful, until the patient feels he is deriving .some . benefit from it. Special hospitals are being prepared for GRAT'ITITYITIS sufferers. The sites are being chosen with, great care, next sodawater factories for preference. The sodawater should be laid on to the hospitals by pipes, as ordinary drinking water is, and each patient should have a pipe laid on to his bedside. Icepacks have sometimes proved beneficial also. The after effects are the most deadly and painful part of the disease. They are two in number, namely:— A general feeling of shakiness, and a depleted banking account. Patients with stout hearts will be able to overcome these easily, if they take a trip into the bush. Advice :—Returned Swldiers who feel they are developing svinptoms of GRATUITYITIS would be well advised to buy an annuity, or marry a Scotch wife who practises physical culture.
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https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/TO19191122.2.68
Bibliographic details
Observer, Volume XL, Issue 12, 22 November 1919, Page 30
Word Count
448A NEW DISEASE. Observer, Volume XL, Issue 12, 22 November 1919, Page 30
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