RUN TO EARTH.

Observer, Volume XL, Issue 10, 8 November 1919, Page 25

RUN TO EARTH.

A waiter at a restaurant recommended lamb chops and green peas to a patron. Later he said: "How &ir,"did'you find the lamb chop?" "By moving away two peas/ , was the reply. "I found the chop was under them." ®> 9 & ,

TOO LITERAL

If one is asked to be literal, he can scarcely be. conscientiously so, especially in a court of law. "Now, you must give explicit and exact answers," said a lawyer; said you drove a milk cart, didn't you?" "No, sir, I didn't." ; "Don't yoxi drive a milk cart?" "No, sir. ,, "Then what do you do?" "I drive a hoss." ■ t 0 <8& ®

IF AUTHORS ADVERTISED

Make no mistake and buy my books. My diction is safe, my ideas are safe, my literary art is safe. I never go too far in any direction.—John Galsworthy. I shock and amuse yon. One of my greatest merits is that you don't have to believe anything I say. By becoming familiar with my works you can also establish a reputation for literary knowingness.—Bernard Religion made palatable for the masses. Old ideas dressed up in attractive packages. Jehovah renovated and 'made to appear as good as new. Step in and look over my stock.—H. G. Wells. Read my historical works, being made while you wait. Suspense keeps up to end. Greatest works of fiction now being written. — Woodrow Wilson. Try one of my fiction pousse cafes, composed of equal parts of Society, Scintillation, and Sex; none genuine without the word "Hearst" blown in the matrix.—Robert W. Chambers. Spirits of all kinds constantly on hand.—Conan Doyle,