THE FRETFUL PORCUPINE

Observer, Volume XL, Issue 6, 11 October 1919, Page 20

THE FRETFUL PORCUPINE

ON Saturday night last, that illustrious Orphan, Mr. J. Armstrong, of Devonport, bearing his gold chain of office was probably as happy a man as Waitemata could produce, for the wind-up entertainment of the season was a large gem of ptirest ray serene. Mr. Armstrong is vacating the president's chair after two highly successful and notable years, aided by an executive probably second to none in the Province with "Dick" Tatton, a highly accomplished secretary, and ex-presi-dent, "Bob" Clark, as an organiser of talent, acknowledged to be "on his own." The crowd seen through a blue haze of smoke in the Concert Chamber of the Masonic Hall, inehkit"! men, notable in business and municipal garment. There was an invasion from Onehunga, including Mayor Park and Harbour Master "Bob" Gibbons. Devonport's exMayor, Mr. W. Handley, busied himself with the hot-pies, Walter Bowler saw that nobody starved; doctors, lawyers, schoolmasters, merchants, nnd newspaper folk beamed on each other, and Frank Gribbin, the leader of the orchestra, stood on his nice little rimu perdh <and beamed at every bodj\

It is notable that Frank Gribbin did not tender what he facetiously calls "his annual resignation," for his team buried all previous records for flawless execution. The audience rose at them and the applause broke several globes and gas mantles as Andrew McMurtrie is well aware. Perhaps the entertainers were inspired. Anyhow Mr. F. G. Bourke (Engineer D.8.C.), who is probably the finest vocalist in Auckland, sang among other gems Shakespeare's wonderful song picture "Blow, blow thou Winter Wind," just as it ought to be sung. If anybody wants a better Scot's song than "Ma Am Wee Horse," better sung than by Duncan Black, let us know. That earnest chap, R. Wilson, put a world of meaning into that flawless gem of Robert Louis Stevenson's, and by the time he sung the line, "And the Hunter home from the hill," he caused a hot lump or so in many throats.

One expects things ;from Allan McElwain, and he never disappoints one. Didn't know how much there was in C. J. Dennis's "Intro" (Doreen) before. Allan is sure enough "the Kid." Alf Hintze, who always

writes his, own stuff and has a gift of humour and satire, had a little thing he had written the preceding afternoon and as it was funnily local it went big. Alfred darted off to catch a boat to do another "turn" in town before indulging in the balmy. Those highly accomplished musicians, :. the Prime boys—Carl, Leo and Charles (fiddle, 'cello, and piano) got a splendid hearing. One of the specialties of the show was a young Axford. who is in working life a "Herald,, Angel. He is excellent and his patter good.

Subsequently, the tenderest possible things were said by "Army," and of him. Frank Gribbin almost promised to use only the strictest Parliamentary language to the orchestra in future. Bob Clark threw some sincere bouquets and "Dick" Tatton, to whom a presentation was made, accepted the many tributes to his ability and hard work modestly.

"Wotrot" writes:—Did you ever hear of that gallant band of warriors known as the Legion of Frontiersmen? If not, you must at least have seen them about at times without realising that you were in the presence of the great. More than liking you thought you had tumbled up on a few overgrown Boy Scouts— which, by the way, was distinctly unfair to the Boy Scouts. Anyhow, these Frontiersmen are springing into activity again and are again urging the Government to give them official recognition—that's the worst of being a Government, you have to recognise all sorts of people. Possibly the Government should do as asked in this instance, but one cannot help smiling when one hears that the spokesman at a recent deputation to the Prime Minister, supported his request by. saying that "it was obviously impossible for them to provide for themselves the more elaborate and expensive sort of technical gear, such as AEROPLANES and Guns, required for the specialist branches!" Ye Gods!

The following is from the "Fiji" Times: —We regret to hear that SubInspector H. C. Hills has tendered his resignation. We are not surprised. No man has been so badly treated by the Government or public. Mr. Hill's action in capturing Yon Luckner (who threatened Fiji) may have been decried by some "stay at homes" but it was a very bold and gallant action, and the capture probably saved the Pacific much loss. To the shame of Fiji, Mr. Hills-act-ion has not been recognised in any proper way. The rich residents have subscribed to much less worthy causes than a testimonial to Mr. Hills. He was placed in charge of Labasa, but taking advantage of his well-earned leave, it was taken from him. The whole matter is distinctly discreditable, to all concerned and we hope that even at this eleventh hour the Government, at any rate, will recognise its duty, if the public will not.

THE VALUES OF LIFE

Mr. G. H. J. Reynolds writes: Tke subjoined cutting from the " Daily Chronicle" (replying to a writer'asking "Why women wear beads," and condemning the fashion), I think excollent:—

WHY DO WOMEN WEAR BEADS?

(To the Editor "Daily Chronicle.") Sir, —The reason women wear beads is akin to the reason why nature wears daisies and wild roses, when grass and turnips would give a bigger yield of pork and mutton for the useful employment of our internal organs. Men who complain of women adorning themselves should not write to the papers—they should take the first ship home. Filling up with food and drink, they . should sleep—sleep long and deep for hundreds and hundreds of years. Waking to fish, hunt, fight, and kill, they should in turn be -hunted., killed, and eaten many times over, sleeping earnestly in between. In course of time they may.find themselves possessed of faculties capable of appraising some of the values of life added to the useful. ■ H. W. WALTER. Uttoxeter, June 25th, 1919. © ®- © M.P.'s intend to implore themselves not to be. tqt- hard-hearted and to double their salaries. At £600 a year, a New Zealand M.P.. will be regarded as only worth £48 5s less per annixm than our unmarried junior lieutenants in the staff corps. As M.P.'ing in New Zealand is distinctly a trade, exacting as.any other kind of commercial-travelling, the recognition by M.P.'s of their own value comes none too soon. A time will come wlien the. M.P. may be the equal of a waterside worker, and with his screw doubled, the M.P. will be able to mix in society. At £600, he will be getting only £588 8s of a N.Z. Colonel, which ought to make him rejoice and be exceedingly glad. It is understood when the M.P. persuades himself to double his own screw, he will beseech everybody not to attempt to bribe him with gold. The doubling of the "honorarium" will cause the greatest intellects of the Dominion to come rushing to the rescue of the country—perhaps!

The death of Mr. Fred B. Bushill, for thirty years secretary of the Devonport Ferry Company, is deeply regretted by very many Aucklanders. Mr. Bushill wag a man with an unusual command of his profession— accountancy—he was an authority on shipping law second to none in the city. His funeral at Purewa on Tuesday afternoon was. attended by very large numbers of his late friends. Mr. Bushill, who was 53 years of age, is survived by his widow, three daughters, and two sons, to whom this paper extends sincerest condolences.

Back to Auckland recently in the '"Hororata," Captain A. J. Coutts, son of Mr. Alf. Coutts, Auckland citizen and patriot. Capt. Coutts, although still young, belonged to "A" Battery (Auckland) N.Z.F.A., which formed the nucleus of the famous No. 1 Battery, a tinit with a Gallipoli, Egypt, and France record of which New: Zealand ought to be proud. Captain Coutts. left New Zealand as a bombardier, and won all his stare in the field, finishing as captain—and adjutant to the Brigade. He was with the British Army of occupation in Germany. Before going away with the N.Z.E.F. in 1914, he was employed by Messrs. Sargood, Son and Ewen.

Sergeant George Finey, one time an artist for the "New Zealand Herald," and during four years on active service, has returned to Auckland. Sergeant Finey returns with many achievements to his. credit. He was one of the New Zealand artists who contributed to Cassels book, "New Zealand at the Front," and many English publications and newspapers were illustrated by him while he was away. Sergeant Finey returned last week, looking very well and happy.

Leonard Keven, who was one of Auckland's foremost amateur singers in pre war days, has returned after about three years with the army. He will be remembered for his work on the local concert platform, and in "The Mikado," and other operas which were locally produced. While away with the N. Z.E.P., he assisted with several concert parties, and was a popular entertainer. He sailed with the 28ths, and returns looking exceedingly well after his taste of army service.

Ngapi Wirihana, and his young * Maori men and women,, aqted as true sports at Onehunga on Jelllcoe day. Mayor Jack Park worked up several good stunts, that if the day had been fine instead of the deadly drizzle ending in a downpour, would have made that day the dandy of the lot. As it was, Lord and Lady Jellicoe came out. Her ladyship wrapped in a serviceable oilskin, enjoyed the day, enjoyed the rain, and enjoyed the kids. The Admiral, ditto, and Jack Park, Mayor, and the Mayoress hit the mark every time.

Pretty well every suburban Mayor was present. Devonport's King and the mayoress sat in dignity. Birkenhead's McPhail smiled and kept the rain off the Mayoress, while Northcote's Greenslade, Newmarket's Chris. Leek and Takapuna's "Bio" kept the rain off Harbour Board Hughie McKenzie, an effort for which he was so grateful that as an after event, "Hughie" dried the wet outside and the dryness inside of those various mayors.

The presentations were unique, being caskets made and carved, relics of the H.M.S. Orpheus, wrecked on the Manukau bar some fifty odd years ago. The Admiral graciously allowed the park (not Jack Park) to be named after himself. Two sweet little girls made presentations to Lady Jellicoe and remained afterwards on the stand by urgent request of her ladyship, and then the Maoris led by Ngapi came to light. Haka and poi dances, rain or no rain, good and solid, and didn't the guests enjoy it!

His Lordship taking over the address and Kiwi mat presented, sprung off the .stage and came to Ngapi with hands extended, chief to chief, no nose rubbing ensued, but just a happy greeting, v sweeping wink at the Maori maidens, then good-bye to all amidst cheers to the party and Maoris. Then the rain did fall, what?

That afternoon, Ngiapi rang up Mayor Jack Park. "That you. Jack? Well I hear someone say the people go on the warship." "Eh? No, Ino know that. My people they say they very glad to go on board. You the big rangatira with the Admiral, now you get the telephone to work and we go aboard, eh? All right, good luck. I wait here for you to reply."«■

The boat was rung up, His Lordship being absent just then. The Mayor waited an answer. Twelve o'clock. Onehunga rang. "Just closing up, Ngapi waiting here, wants to know any answer?" "No! First thing to-morrow." "All right, I'll tell him." Six o'clock in the miorining. Jack Park's littlje boy, coming into the room. "Telephone, Dad." "Oh, let it wait." "But they are ringing hard." "Yes, Oh, that you Ngapi, no answer yet, been waiting all night, well, I won't get an answer till eight. Oh go to —" Ten o'clock. "That you Jack. Any answer. Oh, allright, eh. That good, now I go aboard the ship, I got all the gear in'tny car, you come, eh ? What? Oh, I send all my men and girl early, I know the Admiral, he say allright, and say yes, so I get them in. I bring my car, now."

And so Ngapi and his crew, headed by Mayor Jack Park, rolled straight to the boat, were introduced, shown over the ship, then by invitation, stripped, dressed in Maori costume, stepped to the wharf so as to give the whole ship's officers and crew a clear view and shook the old ship's sides with haka's and poi dances. Then joy took the lot. Sailors and savages swept up to the decks and a real recherche dance took place, everybody pleased. The maidens say that not a sailor man said or did anything astray, and so that is why on Saturday the whole tribe were on the wharf to give the boys a farewell tangi.

"Observer No. 2" writes:—l saw a family in an Auckland street the other day that made me think. A tiny woman with seven children— probably less than a' year between each of them—the last in a "pram" and possibly a few weeks old. The woman found her husband obviously by accident leaning up against a wall eating a cigarette and spitting copiously on the pavement. The conversation was obviously about money, which the cigarette eater did not supply. The six little ones waited in silence and expectancy, but no money happened. The tiny woman fell in the six, dodged across the road, wheeling the pram and carrying a little one under her arm, returning for another load. Mr. Cigarette Eater didn't assist. He watched the procession with a detached interest and smoked and spat. The woman was probably 26 years of age. Civilisation prevented me kicking the MAN (?) hard and often.

Mr. G. W. Russell has obviously warned the Prime Minister for the la«t time. "It is no good you trying your bullying with me!" Up to now the "bully" has apparently not apologised to the calm, impartial exMinister of Health. If Mr. Massey is jeopardising his political chances by his disagreement with Mr. Russell, may one beg him to solace the ex-Minister with a humble apology. Let the Prime Minister fashion himself on the illustrious author of "A New Heaven," and be calm. If he will read the reports of the calm one's expressions of opinion during the events of November last he will be convinced that he must not bully people.

© ©

At a Southern horray to Lord JelJicoe somebody lost a purse, and the Admiral quaintly explained that he was guiltless. At Takapuna Lady Jellicoe lost a purse likewise, but it was happily restored. "Souvenir" hunters about H.M.S. "New Zealand" apparently envied anything that was movable, and writer saw a clergyman with a pen-knife in his hand looking covetously at a 12-inch gun. Curious the way Mr. Entrican regards the removal of Lady Jelliooo's ivory-backed hairbrushes. You see," her ladyship's private quarters would not be open to the common herd, and available only to the "upper ten," and her own private servants.

Said Mr. Entrican, ''No doubt the brushes had been taken by someone who did not view the matter in the right light." The brushes were, of course, taken by a thief—the act of taking them was stealing, the man or woman who collected them as "souvenirs" would collect anything. There's a sort of "please send them back and all will be foiv given" touch about it. If a ragged person had nicked a tin of jbeef nobody would have bothered to say "he did not view the matter in the right light." He would (in coarse language) have been lumbered by the Hops, and would cool his heels in the stone jug.

An address on the subject of ' 'State Purchase and Control of the Liquor Trade" will be delivered by the Rev. , James Milne, M.A., at the Town Hall Concert Chamber on Friday evening next under the auspices of the New Zealand Moderate League. This will be one of a series of educative addresses that the League is conducting through the Dominion, so that electors may thoroughly understand the new issue upon which they will be required to vote at the approaching general election poll. The Rev. Milne has made a special study of the question of State Control of the Liquor Trade and will give the audience the benefit of his very thorough investigations, extending over many years. The recent British experiment in State purchases at Carlisle will be fully explained and questions will be welcomed. An open invitation is extended to a>ll citizens to hear the address.