PARS ABOUT PEOPLE

Observer, Volume XXXIII, Issue 10, 16 November 1912, Page 4

PARS ABOUT PEOPLE

MAHUTU TAWHAIO POTATATJ TE WHEROWHERO hag laid down his kingship and has gone to the land of his fathers. The late Maori King has not recently heen much in the eye of the pakeha, and the most notable news that had been heard of him was that he was building an up-to-date pakeha house at Waahi, where everything should be of the most modern description. Mahuta was a fine type of the Maori aristocrat, although he had very obviously been a little spoilt by contact with the pakeha- and by contracting some of the weaknesses of the white race. In 1903 the late Mr Seddon conceived the idea of making Mahuta a member of the Legislative Council, as that gentleman was inclined to be a law unto himself, but as a matter of history Mr S3ddon diplomatically arranged a cessation of "hostilities" in regard to laws relating to Maori lands and caused Mahuta to relinquish the idea that lie could make sumptuary laws, or any law relating to lands.

Although Mahuta did on some occasions "leave for Wellington to undertake his legislative duties," he really took no part in such duties and was far less prominent at any time than any Maori member in the Houses of Parliament. He confined himself largely to " having a good time" in the city. Mahuta lost his M.L.C.-ship when Mr Seddon passed out of power. Te Rata, the " heir to the throne," is a modern progressive Maori. It is believed in some quarters that the young " King" (he is 37) may with his influence aid those bright young Maoris who are trying hard to undo much of the bad work done by the pakeha in leaving the Maori without work and without real discipline.

That dear old gentleman, Edward Tregear, who when on the "Cost of Living Commission" asked a pointed question about a "three tooth wether," has found a novel way of saving life on the railway. Edward writes to the papers saying that as human life is of more importance than money, a first-class railway manager at .£IO,OOO a year, instead of a second-class man at .£3OOO should be obtained. Edward's extraordinarily quaint idea is that if a railway servant is killed, his relatives should be paid compensation out of thet general manager's salary, instead of out of the consolidated fund. The suggestion in Edward's letter is, of course, that railway men get killed because general managers don't get paid big salaries, or that if general managers got big salaries, shunters might be more careful, or something equally practical and wonderful.

"Winds that blow from the South wafted Charlie Izard, of Wellington, into Queen-street a few days since. Charlie is hardly any fatter and not any stouter. Excitable chap Charles, good-hearted though. Is a lawyer by profession and used to make exclamations in the House when he represented Wellington North, having sent the Iron Duke, John Duthie, to the right about. Charlie became so excited that he was nearly incoherent. Drove around in a carriage and addressed the faithful electors in the wraith of a voice. Couldn't utter a word for three days after. Although he was born in New Zealand he was schooled at Cambridge, which has done him no perceptible harm. He's quite an expert looal body member. Been on everything there is to be on. Owns a lot of property. His late pa, Charles Beard Izard, achieved a nice income and a seat in the House, too. Charles is the brother of Arnold, the doctor with a wad of degrees after his name as long as a comet's tail. Neither brother minds working his talking machinery overtime. By the way, Arnold Izard is the only man addicted to the conduct of public meetings in New Zealand who can conduct one. He smites the windbag with a vigorous word the moment he begins to blow. He would be a useful master of ceremonies on the Auckland Hospital Board.

Mr H. A. E. Milnes is the principal of the Training College and not a professional humourist like the " Herald's " own " Mercutio," but despite his exalted position, he unbends at times. He is to blame for a hilarious jest last week which will rock the colleges of Oxford to their ancient foundations as soon as it percolates through. Mr Milnes is perplexed over the question of What to do with our Rhodes scholars, and an inspiring flash of that dry humour for which schoolmasters are noted, has suggested to him that at least one might be kept in the country by proffering him the job of Director of Physical Culture for New Zealand schools. Of course, there will be an agonised struggle for the billet, N.Z. Rhodes scholars being so numerous that there is hardly room for them to exist. As Mr Milnes so whimsically remarks, " One often hears an outcry about the misfortune of losing the cream of our young men, who never return to the Dominion. Here is a chance to rectify this. Evidently the good Principal believes that the fine flower of our intelligent youth, after achieving honours in intellectual pursuits are so heartily sick of intellect, fame, fortune and Oxford that they will welcome the chance of cultivating brawn and instructing juveniles in the art of swinging clubs and pushing dumb-bells up and down.

When the Rhodes Scholar, already advertised by that distinction, has made himself a specialist in some branch of learning and is straightway offered a job at a thousand a year to help along science or commerce, or similar matters,he will contemptuously refuse, for the lure of his far southern country will be strengthened by the prospect of physical driller of school boys at four hundred per annum. Why should he waste his high talents and

his laboriously" acquired knowledge in administering a department in India, or building railroads in Egypt when honour such as Mr Milnes suggests, and Mercutio applauds, awaits him in his own country ? Indeed, why become a Ehodes Scholar at all ? There are so many jobs offering in which physical culture is required ; mental culture is a weariness to the flesh and often means exile from one's own land at a paltry recompense of a thousand or so a year. Mr Milnes has shown himself a benefactor in the cause of the higher education and a sincere patrjot and our youthful scholars immured in the grey walls of Oxford will rise up and call him One doesn't like to guess what they will call him, but it won't be " blessed." Mr Milnes is very droll, but we are glad to see that Mercutio, in approving, has proved himself a shade more droll.

The large and rubicund J. R. Lundon, who has been rusticating among the cows, has left strawberry to return to his old love, the client, has cast his bluchers in the bin at the back of the bail, his old milking hat after it, and has shaken the dust out of his legal horse-hair, preparatory to a flank movement on the enlightened jury. " Jerry," in a recent conversation, referred at some length to a bad daily paper habit of damning an untried police captive by detailing with unctuous satisfaction the exploits he has expiated by imprisonment, thus, possibly influencing men who may be called as a jury to hear the charge. Mr Lundon has had professional knowledge of Huston, the man who created a sensation in gummy and coaley Hikurangi, and who opened his handcuffs by whispering to them. He says, it is silly to pretend that Huston is a dangerous man

Huston's specialty is hotel robbing and he has no desire or inclination tobeat anybody to death, or to poison the population. He is, Mr Lundon says, a brilliant mechanic and engineer, and' there are some evidences that while he has been away from crime and in a. job he has been "chivvied" by the authorities. The sunburnt barrister, speaking about politics, recalled the' fact that his father was, as far as he knew, the only member of Parliament in the Empire who could neither read nor write. Also, although a publican for thirty years, he never touched intoxicants. Lundon, the elder at the age of 13, went to confessional and unburdened himself of what was on his mind. For punishment Father Matthew swore him to total abstinence, a condition .he obeyed to his death. Jerry, fired by his father's example, has never set lip to alcohol,, either.

That lovable public character, Mr J. H. Hannan, J.P., whose modesty makes it so ruffling to his fine feelings to appear in court, has unfortunately been brought before one of his fellow magistrates, Mr C. C Kettle, S.M., for contempt of the Court, to which, by virtue of his commission, Mr Hannan belongs. Mr Hannan had shown a characteristic modesty to have his transaction as--landlord kept a secret and had told » witness in court not to produce a document ordered by the Magistrate. Not, of course, that any transaction of Mr Hannan as landlord would not be of a: highly philanthropic nature. It isconceivable even that Mr Hannanoften refuses his just and reasonable dues. It may be this gentleman's unfortunate manner, but he certainly isable to rough people up the wrong, way and among them his brother (but stipendiary) magistrate, Mr C. C. Kettle.

Mr Hannan's assurance that he is su law abiding citizen and believes inlaw and order is refreshing, and the fact that he told Mr Kettle he wassorry is also a hopeful sign. For his contempt he was fined <£5, "indefault seven days' imprisonment." Fortunately Mr Hannan was able to produce the requisite cash, and so the public is saved the spectacle of a philanthropic J.P. in the hands of one of his constables. Mr Hannan's many grateful tenants may, of course,, subscribe towards the payment of the fine. The question arises, " Can a Justice of the Peace continue to hold his commission having been fined for contempt of a court to which he, byvirtue of his commission, is an officer." However harrowing to the' feelings of the public Mr Hannan's forcible retirement might be, the public would probably bear it without a> too poignant sorrow.

Chief Native Land Court Judge Jackson Palmer has lost the capilliary attraction which one time adorned his upper lip, not from desire but from sheer inadvertence and absorption in business. The learned judge wae sitting in hie court listening to the usual conflicting statements and trying to decide which of the prevaricators had the greatest admixture of truthfulness, and the while he sat he cogitatingly sucked his pencil. He did not remember that it was one of those indelible ink atrocities, so it was not until he reached home that he noticed that one side of his beautiful, silky, grey lip fringe had taken on a startling purple irridescence. He started to wash it off, and the whole lip thatch became a tender mauve colour. Desperately he thought of remedies for restoring it to its primitive innocence of tcne and rejecting sulphuric acid he decided to try salts of lemon. The moustache changed to a cheerful skyblue colour.

Then it was that he covered his free and rushed to his barber demanding a bleacher, and the barber applied the sure cure, which had the effect of turning the kaledioscopic whisker to a jaunty and youthful black. A± one glance Jackson Palmer realised that it didn't match his other hair, and despairingly he made use of another preparation. The hair turned a tawny and discordant red. Again the barber was appealed to. He said he would certainly fix it this time. It seemed to need some fixative, but the learned judge slid into a chair, wagged his hands feebly and said, "take it off, take it off." It's off now, but the judge is waiting anxiously to see whether it produces another colour harmony what time it commences to protrude itself.

Mr S. J. Clarke is a building contractor of Auckland who, when he isn't building, cultivates an appreciation for the Dignity of the Press. Along with other important people in the timber and brick consumption business, he attended the Builders Conference in Dunedin, and when the pow-wow was being run to its conclusion, he arose and told the conferrers that "very few public speakers, and especially aspirants to parliamentary honours, realised what they owed to the newspaper reporter, whose reticence and ability to arrange material saved many from being scorched by

the fire of criticism* or withered by the blast of contempt." • Mr Clarke was very neat in his reference to the reporter's "ability to arrange material," but it's an ability acquired from long practice of reticence, the said reticence of newspapers being their most remarkable feature in this Dominion. What they leave unsaid would fill volumes. The remarks also suggest that Mr Clarke had a very poor opinion of the utterances of the conferring builders, and was grateful to the press for " arranging" the poor material offered. It is not nice to Dβ " scorched by the fire of criticism or withered by the fire of contempt," and Mr Clarke deserves the thanks of reporters for displaying them as public benefactors.

Harry Ell, M.P., the man who has never taken an oath of silence in his life, lately wasted a lot of time in the dying hours of Parliament saying it was a lie that he wasted a lot of time. Mr Massey said that Harry was the worst time waster in Parliament, and Harry told Willie not to tell untruths. Mr Massey retorted that Mr Ell musn't lose his temper, and then Mr Ell said something about it being "a lie/ , and somebody moved that the lie be taken down and a "brief discussion" followed, all by way ot showing that Harry Ell, member for Christchurch South, never wasted time.

" U.S." writes : Re your squib about Territorial officers using their militarj titles in civil life. Lord Haldane, who I suppose, knows as much about Territorials as anybody, holds that it is not only reasonable, but desirable, that Territorial officers shall use thenranks and be addresed by them in civil life His contention is that a Territorial officer holds His Majesty's commission, may become a combatant, and is equally entitled to his title as if he were permanently and solely a soldier. I admit that it would be awkward it the non-commissioned ranks and rank and file carried the idea into practice. It would certainly be a little confusing to conduct ordinary commercial lite with sergeants and corporals, although it seems more reasonable that the commissioned territorials shall insist on being addressed by the title of their rank. It is not you will find merely a matter of " frill," but is useful as a disciplinary measure in increasing respect for citizen officers.

; In Parliament the other day a-mem-ber rose in his boots protesting against " town pump politicians." Mr A. E. Glover, M.P., had. not been referred to, but he arose in wrath. "Don't call us that," he said, "don't call us that '■" Albert really shouldn't rush to fit a cap on. He's not a hatter, and even Mr S. Dickson isn't in the trade now.

Alfred iiichard £ai'elayrifc-Ar,-L,L.D., ex-M.P., is dead, and those who knew the vivid little man will be sorry. He was a very vigorous politician, and excitable withal. It was almost impossible to subdue him if he had any matter at heart. He was always frankly and energetically partisan, and sometimes became almost infuriated as a pamphleteer, dealing as he did with what he believed to be the political sins of the times. It will be remembered too, that at the time of the South African war, he was decidedly pro-Boer, and that the public (which did not know the truth of the matter) was very angry with him. In the House, Mr Barclay was always interesting, and very often highly amusing. He was for some time lecturer on constitutional history and law at the Otago University, and a prominent member of many learned societies and local bodies.

Mat. Armstrong, of Whangarei, §nd the Land Board, but formerly of Yorkshire, has returned from a trip to his native moors, with a new silver cigarette case and a motor-car. He says the London police are still directing the traffic in their usual masterly manner, that the horses at the Royal Agricultural Show can't jump for little apples, and that Melbourne people who take trips to the Old Country seem to be wallowing in wealth. Some Melbournians attracted by Mr Armstrong's sunny personality, insisted early in the fray on making him their guest, and although at Colombo and Naples and othe rplaces he tried hard to spend money these Melbourne people euchred him every time, and forbade him to even pay the rickshaw wallah, or the dhobie.

Mat. says there is a good deal more poverty in London than inWhangaiei, and has noticed also that since he left the Old Country in his earlier days there is a greater disposition to display wealth. Perhaps it is that commercial millionaires are more in number and are more prone to expressions of wealth than say—the Duke of Westminster. By the way, his grace is quite well. He had some horses in the Royal Agricultural Show this time, but he didn't do the grooming. Speaking about motor-care. Mat. avers that

the rural lanes of Britain smell like a petroleum well, and that the new generation of country children can easily " break nine "■ over a measured hundred yards, this being necessary to escape the tumultuous petrol gig. Mr Armstrong characteristically remarks ah'm. Rare glad to be "hooam from Hooam."

It may have been a protest at the system of the low pay for good magistrates. A lady witness in Mr C. C. iiettle's court on Tuesday tried to give Mr Jiettle ss, probably as a thanksotfering for the good and just law he had ladled out. The court habitues laughed a good deal when the lady handed up the tip, and the magistrate blushed and told the lady to hand it on to the Salvation Army. Mr Jiettle disclaimed being a charitable institution. It is the nrst case in New Zealand of a witness being so charmed with a magistrate as to want to pay him for his services. Now if everybody was so good to J .'a P. !

Parsons being a power in the land, their utterances must get the same attention as those of Cabinet Ministers, and all tneir conflicting opinions must be duly weighed by an awed and respectiul public. That is the excuse tor giving the E. J±. Hobday, who is a weighty figure in Churchiamty down in thet holy city of L>unedin, a tree advertisement. There is another reason, oi course; and that is that his utterances are uncommon sense, coming from a parson. The humourless person who started the agitation against Billiards for Babes and Snooker for Snobs ,and pointed out the litter impropriety of permitting such sinful games in saintly Y.M.C.A/s, where young men are, as far as possible, kept unspotted of the world and its two associates, that person, we say, is metaphorically slapped Dy Parson Hobday.

The Beverend advocate of billiards says that Christianity is not a religion of negatives, but of positive virtues, which will either strike the average unco, good as being a revelation or a heresy. Then he says sensibly, that no game is evil because in some circumstances it may have gathered to itself evil associations, but his most potent point against those who are righteous overmuch is in his remark that it is his conviction based on observation, "that the strictness of many homes, and the severity of many creeds, which go by the name of Christian, have produced a false impression of religion upon children, who, so soon as they have got beyond parental control, have gone to the other extreme/ Everyone but the over righteous realises that.