THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXXIII, Issue 5, 12 October 1912, Page 7

THEY SAY

That the "Rear Admiral Ross/' who is visiting Auckland, is not "Alec" of providore fame.

• That a " singular racing suit " is being heard. A lot of those racing suits are a bit loud.

That an optimist is a woman who believes everything is for the best, and that she is the best.

—That Onehunga is to have its drum and fife band, too. There's bound to be a Rowe.

—That Martyr Putan has returned to Waihi for his wreath of olives. But the " Crown" is at Karangahake.

—That Semple's "trump card" is being trotted out-to-day (Thursday). Be is expected to "play the deuce."

—That it is not true that Mr Langguth and Mr Justice Edwards were seen arm in arm together the other day.

That staff officers are being taught to cook. Even if the N.Z. army falls to' pieces they will have a useful profession.

That the Girl Peace Scouts will not welcome the Canadian cadets— publicly, but Trad© Commissioner ±Jeddoe is reticent.

That George Fowlds has thrown down the gauntlet to the Bible in Schools Party, which, at the moment, is wearing the Garland.

That the Government has been asked to " restore the meaning formerly attributed to the word 'work/ " No doubt Mr Semple will protest.

That Waihi has become the Mecca of the man with the chronic lassitude. It is the place where men are paid for doing nothing. Let's go !

That the recent charge of the Third Regiment was "an example of glorious dash " —but there was an absence of meat on the bayonets.

That Maori war veterans are to get pensions. Apropos a Crimean veteran nas just-received his medal. Military matters do move with a swing, don't they ?

—That a leading lawyer lately signed on as a stoker in order to get quickly to a port. Why shouldn't one of the "Devil's Own" learn this necessary art P

That the Government will make regulations for the control of the whaling industry. If Norwegians will use. our neglected assets, they must take the consequences.

That the Auckland Women's Political League has protested at Mrs Godley's scheme to encourage cadet shooting. Presumably, the boys don't.deserve to be shot.

That one of the effects of the Chinese revolution is that Auckland ladies' coiffures will be much larger this season—the supply of hair has greatly increased.

That the Auckland of Musicians is protesting at the "No New Zealand organist need apply idea, and there was a Fray at the meeting of protest.

That, according to the " Star/ , hundreds of young people arrive in Auckland without a pound in their pocket, or a friend. Thought there was a law prohibiting paupers.

That Sir Joseph Ward strongly objects to New Zealand tinkering with a tinpot local navy. Fancy calling our Amokura tinpot ! Sir Joseph will please withdraw the base reflection.

That according to Pitchfork Willie the proportional voting system will' do away with parish pump politics and the professional politician. Mr Massey is hardly complimentary to Mβ adherents.

—rThat Percy Skinner " fears the possibility of becoming a bore." No, no, Percy, never ! -

—That the Waihi " bitterenders " object to the British flag because it is. the " Union " Jack. .

—That it's the girls' turn now. Couldn't the devoted canvassers gather .£IO,OOO for a new Y.W.C.A. ?

—That .Auckland taxi owners are uniting to protect their interests. Conspiracy, of course—but a " fare " one.

—That a fire broke out in a Waihi winder's whare the other day. It is understood the Federation will pay the bill.

—That the " Viking " \ which formerly belonged to His Ex., now belongs to XXXX. From peerage to beerage.

That the Earawa is renovated from keel to blue peter, including a new gold band round skipper JNorbury's cheesecutter.

—That Mr Justice Sim is still president of the Arbitration Court. We thought Plenipotentiary Semple had dismissed him.

—That the watersiders are not happy., This is an untruth. They're happy when they're fighting—and that's all the time.

That Eev. Bridger declares that the "agitator is by the weak crowned as a king." In the pack there are many knaves too.

That Tarn McKenzie is nearing the white cliffs of Albion. Poor George Keid must climb tlown as Colonial panjandrum in London now.

That Provincial Scout Commissioner Stebbing is now a " Silver Wolf," but many people will still go on worshipping the Golden Calf.

That Parliament will rise about November 5. If you remember Guy I'awkes was unsuccessful in his motion for prorogation on a similar date.

That Tom Pollard has lost none of his ancient dash. He's making the amateur operatics jump to it, as if the Lilliputian days were back again.

That Mayor Pan , has spent much time lately walking round with distinguished visitors. Moved, seconded and carried that he be given a Mayoral boot allowance.

That John Payne has declared himself to be the only representative of the " Red Federation " in Parliament. It is understood that 25 members are very jealous of John.

—That old Jim Butcher, of Whangarei, is still flourishing at the age ol eighty. He's the oldest member the Good Intent Lodge of Oddfellows— or Oldfellows, if you like.

—That although the kissers of Kitty pretend that bowls will start on Saturday, statistics show that the bowl has flowed all the winter. Hugh Fraser is oft" the mat first.

That the popularity of Bellamy's is evidently dwindling. In the House lately several members said " pneumoconiosis " without faltering. Mr Isitt was unusually attentive.

That a young lady shed quite a shower of silver coins in Queen-street the other day. Fortunately there ware no landagents about, and two lawyers and a doctor restored the coin.

That there is a kindly license in Parliament nowadays. Mr Witty mentions that P. M. B. Pisher is "a political acrobat, flotsam and jetsam, who has crawled into a position." Naughty!

That Bishop Cleary has taken unnecessary pains to prove that " Mercutio," of the " Herald," doe'sn't know much about Ulster and Home Rule— who breaks an elephant upon a wheel ?

That William Wright has emphasised the point that New Zealand is a workman's paradise. Are not Paradise and Eden almost synonymous, and are not some "workers" in Eden at the moment ?

That the commercial reports of the dailies state that "the use of British salt for the fishing trade in Japan a.ppears to be growing' steadily, ,, and this does away with the general belief that only birds are caught by such means.