THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXXIII, Issue 4, 5 October 1912, Page 7

THEY SAY

That some of the Red Feds, are being fed at the State's expense.

That J. E. Elliott is keen on the establishment of a " game farm." Two up will not be played.

That Mayor Parr agrees that schoolboys should not be soldiers. He does not believe in Parr-ade.

That in the Spring the mamma's fancy lightly turns to adoption advertisements. See daily papers.

That "the question of Italy's sovereignty over Tripoli is now the sole obstacle to peace." It always was.

That the usual lysol case happened last week. The plague as a human eradicator is not in the same street with lysol.

That a horse-trainer has gone to gaol. He kept no books. He might have succeeded better if he had "made" a book.

That Selwyn Mays has found a man "who suffers from excessive optimism." Surely Selwyn has been gazing in the mirror.

That if the V.M.C.A. is a "manhood factory," will that charitable institution come under the eye of the factory inspector ? .

That it will be almost sacrilege for a mere New Zealander to finger that grand organ now—and the playing may be a little Sharp.

That it is really too bad that Mr Hudson should have to Walklate at night to Mt. "Worst tram service in Auckland/ ,

That Rev. Watts-Ditchfield in his address to business men counselled " Christian boldness." Surely prices are not going still higher ?

That when Chinese soldiers refuse duty off go their heads ! When New Zealanders refuse duty the antidefenders issue medals to them.

That the immigrant who complained to the "Star" the other day, that he couldn't find work probably had his eyes shut for fear he might.

■ That the Auckland Operatic Society's glad scream that "Pollard is up " has nothing to do with the gram market. This is a "bran" new quotation.

That " Jim " Shanagan who hardly feels as if he were out of his teens, is superannuated for old age. Few footballers would like to try a fall with him even now.

That Mr Eoosevelt has been threatened with death—three motor loads of armed detectives are following him. The American police seem to be growing over-bold.

That when little Harry Bedford exclaimed "Down with the Drink ! at the East Street Mission Hall, a droughty gentleman in the back row went out and obeyed him.

—That A. H. Hindmarsh, M.P., indelicately suggests that girls should be taught how to feed babies. Surely he should know that the typewriter has preference these years.

That Mr Thomas Gresham has discovered that it is advisable to warn children that crossing a traffic crowded street is dangerous. Mothers will be grateful for Mr Gresham's discovery.

That (as before remarked) newspaper headings are H 1 " Star " has this one : Died without r doctor " The Medical Association is therefore exonerated from all blame.

—That Hanau is the very appropriate name of a steamer that has gone ashore in the Mediterranean. As she S, laden with our Cristmas dry fruity etc., we well may now ask, How now ?"

That summer is on the skyline, and the "bare majority" are looking up their bathing trunks.

That now a wireless telephone has been invented the day can't be far off when we shall have wireless politics.

That a sailor has died of plague on the Tyne. Only a week ago a soldier died from abcess on the liver.

That John Payne wants our school run on commercial lines. Now we know who ought to be Inspector General.

That the Hon. C. M. Luke told teh Lords that the iron industry should be encouraged — he owns a foundry.

That the Henderson School Committee has resigned because the Education Board won't delegate its powers to it.

That Albert the Good is advocate ing free stationery, free penciis, and tree books for school—but even if he gets them he won't attend.

That Lord Liverpool will live in Auckland when he arrives.. As an English paper remarks " Lord Liverpool is a remarkably sensible man/

That the bold persons who are having a pen-warfare with Bishop (Jleary had better "hands up" early. He'll take a lot of outgenerailing.

That if the City Council's electric committee administers a shock to li. i±. Abbott by connecting up to the Public Works Act it will be Willie Wapier's fault.

—That Onehunga foresters apparently held a perfectly amicable function at the opening of the new theatre. Now, however, we hear that there was a iiowe in the building.

That) the Bed Federation/^ "trump card " turns out to be a 20 per cent, increase on strike pay to-the I Wonts, but it is only a two of olubs that the ace of spades will cover easily-

. TJiat it was an ingenious idea of General Godley's that got his wife to work soothing the feelings of the outraged cadets—but it suggests that they will be reduced to the level of.rine clubs.

That the Key. Watts-Dichfield says that " women should pray about everything, however trifling/ and missuses discovering pious Mary Anns kneeling will agree that they may " pray without ceasing " —scrubbing.

That the law students want the University College built close to town so that it will be easier to manufacture more lawyers. And the public exclaims with one voice, "Why not put it on top of Mount Cook ?

That the 'Varsity students m forwarding their opinion on the Site question to the Government has achieved something like an instructiin to grandmother as to the correct method of extractng the nutriment from an egg.

—That Mr A. Harris, M.P. for Waitemata,. left Auckland for Wellington in the Main Trunk express on Tuesday. Other passengers and the engiiiemen were not debarred on this account. Even Mr J. H. Gunson was permitted aboard, too.

That Professor Picken is quite right when he says that the development of individuality in youths is the paramount duty of the schoolmaster. That's why, one supposes, the Grammar School boys are to be dressed as uniformly as paving stones.

That a feminine witness in a judgment summons case the other day declared that the debtor and his wile were " two of the best dressed people in Karangahape Eoad"—does this imply that the road is outpacing Queen Street as a fashionable parade ?

That the Government has " put its foot in it" this time—the State Geologist has been allowed to report that '• there is small evidence of large oil deposits in Taranaki/' New Plymouth's Christopher Carter will now proceed to eject William and Co.

That the secretary of the Christchurch Y.W.C.A. complains of a man who complained because the Association couldn't supply his wife with a domestic, and says "We don't manuffliture girls.' Well, the V.M.C.A. a 8 a -manhood factory."