THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXXII, Issue 51, 31 August 1912, Page 7

THEY SAY

—That more Valintine days are needed at the Hospital.

—That Kawau wants a cable. George Mann is stirring things up in little Greyland.

—That the " Star's " article headed " Industrial Breaches" didn't have any reference to dungarees.

—That now pyjamas are fashionable wear for women fewer of them are "bearing their cross in secret."

—That the correspondent who suggests that there should be "less Pottering at the Hospital " is surely joking.

—That V. J. Macky, the hero of the Auckland-Wellington football match, prefers kisses without whiskers on them.

—That Mayor Parr got enough newsy paragraphs while in Sydney to keep his name in the papers for the rest of the year.

—That Parr and parks are almost synonymous terms. Auckland's children's children will rise up and call his name blessed.

—That Miss Helen Barnes says New Zealand girls are just as nice as any other girls. Thousands of men discovered that years ago.

—That the Opposition may have to import a leader. There is a precedent for importing people who haven't seen their job. Ask Ronayne.

That a very large mass of motor cars will be gathered at the Auckland Exhibition. The Auckland public likes to see them at rest.

That Auckland students have apologised for being students at the capping ceremony. It all comes of indulging in Stout and bitter.

—That Christopher James is going to rope in the destroying motorist, and make him earn a certificate. A protest is urgently needed from the coroner.

—That Constable Collins, who was the centre of the hooligan attack on Saturday night, agrees with the Commissioner that Auckland wants more police.

—That Sir' Robert Stout believes that carelessness about goods on the wharf is due to Auckland's " soft" climate, but some losses are due to "hard cases."

—That a large painting of "Our Dreadnought" is to be exhibited in Auckland. Probably as a hint that our great grandchildren must not forget to pay for it.

—That Wellington barrackers with the large W on the front of their hats, found it more comfortable to wear their hats "back to front" in Queenstreet on Saturday night.

—That according to the v" Herald," the new High Commissioner will " interest himself in the get up of our stable products." But is Britain interested in New Zealand racehorses ?

That R. T. Graham and his boys tickled the typania of Takapuna with tapping drum and sobbing flute lately. There are 25,000 boys in Auckland. Why not give them all a drum or fife ?

—That frantic housewives are now engaging Mary Jane, who is on her way out to New Zealand, by wireless. Sooner or later the commercial intelligence will quote the number of Mary Janes afloat.

—That the Queen-street land agent who pinned upon his office door the note "Back Directly" gave his punting friend some trouble. As he observed after perusal of a bookie's card, -*' There isn't such a horse running."

—That the price of artificial teeth is going up. Ladies' smiles will be rarer.

■—That although the future of China is hopeful, it is safer to buy enamelware for the children.

—That the Hon. W. Fraser's reference to light feeder railways has no connection with prevailing dining cars.

—That Greenlane has now 600 feet of hose. E. A. Craig will agree that long stockings must be fashionable in his jurisdiction. .

—That imitation is the sincerest flattery. Karangahake will strike too. Thank heaven, hundreds of fools will pay the tucker bill !

—That several new big guns were paraded before the Governor the other day. They included a battery of 18 pounders—and Albert Glover.-

—That vide Mr Massey, the Second Ballot is as dead as Julius Caesar. Some politician is always digging up poor old Julius. Give him a rest, Willie.

—That there were 263 more males than females in Mt. Eden gaol last week—another argument against the suffragette assumption of female equality.

—That Vie. Langsford was the true hero of the big match. He gathered the gold lonehanded, while his confreres gathered round the fence to see the game.

—That Sir Robert Stout's remark about the Harbour Board's charging for storing goods which it failed to keep, should appeal to Mr Gunson's business instincts.

' —That Premier Massey's allegation that the workers have never had a square deal and that he is going to give them one, sounds more like a threat than a promise.

—That suburban jerry builders should discountenance the practice of larrikins in leaning against newlyerected houses. Nobody wants the wall of his dining-room pushed in.

—That General Godley will pour oil on the scarred souls of Auckland junior cadet officers to-day. Couldn't the Defence Department lend him to Waihi for a week or so ?

—That Wellington brought bags of gold to lay on the result of the A.-W. match. Referring to the illegality of the bookmaking trade, it is appropriate to exclaim " Great Scott ! "

—That this dreadful epidemic of political morality is eating into many precious privileges. Mr Herries is going through all the free railway passes with a view to sub-editing them.

—That if P. Eraser must not be president of the Labourers' Union because he is not a labourer, the amateur status of union officials will have to' be carefully considered.

—That Legislative Councillors protest that if the Chamber is made an elective body, .£2OO a year will be far too little wages. Will Mr Beehan please say if J2OO would cover election expenses ?

—That according to Tarn Mackenzie, New Zealand " must be represented as well as Australia is represented in London." Tarn requires at least 24 inches more at the waistline before he is a George Reid.

—That Kennedy' Hill is stirring Wellington with letters, demanding that the Auckland University College shall be built in the Domain. Wellington probably doesn't care if it is built on the top of Mt. Eden.

—That according to U.S. senators, Mr Roosevelt " has been preaching Socialism from one end of the country to the other." The Red. Feds, should take the chance and engage him—he is very loud mouthed.

—If the " Herald's " statement that the new post office is the best in New Zealand won't provoke ill-feeling in Wellington—Wellington also has a new post office, but the steps are not so narrow and difficult.

---That the distinguished visitor who exclaimed that " New Zealand is the most British of all the Dominions," will be sorry to hear that three Britishers named Joe Bung, Quong Bung, and Yip Duck are in the hands of the police.