THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXXII, Issue 23, 17 February 1912, Page 7

THEY SAY

—That some of Mr Grundy's cases are not in keeping with the traditions associated with his name.

—That in the public telephone box at the G.P.O. a slab of carbolic and some ventilation is a howling want.

—That nva competition for the baldest-headed poet in Australia, j'rank Morton would win all the way.

—That threats to "paralyse industry " are as common as sea-sand. Heaven bless the heroes who are going to abolish work.

. —That John Payne returned to Auckland on Saturday, and that the closest scrutiny failed to reveal a portfolio in his pockets.

—That there is no truth in the rumour that " Charley " Drysdale has become an enthusiastic expert on the subject of bottling milk.

—That there may be expert water diviners— but it takes Sergeant Ramsay to smell out tobacco through a closed portmanteau. Was it luck or f

—That " much mental weakness in New Zealand is induced by trying to make both ends meet." But there are sausage suppliers who do not try and are still sane.

That politics are still a sore point in the Parnell electorate, but the tactics of the autocrat in blue are anything but creditable to the force.

—That Dr. Pomare has declared himself for Massey, because rude people said he was " independent The taunt was too much and so he " reformed."

—That the par which appeared in the " Herakl " a couple of days ago relative to taxing the more or less domestic and nocturnal cat was inspired by the lodgers of one ot our swellest boarding palaces.

—That Maurice O'Connor has become the proud possessor of Lindsay Cooke's handsome motor launch. He is now contemplating a monster picnic that will put Harry Hayr s celebrated shivoo clean to the bottom. Me too.

—That if speedy steps are not taken, Lake Takapuna will need an army of doctors and a fever hospital all to itself. The land selling madness overshadows health conditions and sanitary arrangements. A tip for you, Harry Adams.

—That Armstrong Mewburn has been washed whiter than snow of " wowserism." His efforts in the refreshment department at the Auckland Bowling Club's Jubilee as chief steward and dispenser converted many a dry throat.

—That 'an indication of a need for the curtailment of the (self-imposed) powers of the ordinary constable of police, and a need for closer supervision, is given by a couple or more of insufficiently evidenced cases brought before the S.M. recently.

—That the big fish stories about of late are caused by the shark invasion stirring imaginations, but Wally Winks's tale of an abnormal king-fish that caressed his boat and upset the card party, and was indignantly slaughtered by a harpoon wielded by Wally—Well ! And he says they used it for bait.

—That there is no reason to suspect that Leo Myers is looking for a Conciliation Commissionership.

—That Joe MacMahon is regarded as a public benefactor by young folk who prefer to make their assignations in the shade.

—That the " Star " will be convicted of lese Majesty if it persists in docking our Lord Chief Justice of his prefixed dignity. " Mr" Robert Stout. What insolence !

—That Harle Giles is " swelling wisibly " with sheer pride at having settled the Cooks' and Stewards' dispute without a strike being necessary. And in these times, too !

—That the resolution of sympathy with the tramway strike passed by the Wellington Bootmakers' Union was* an indication that it's an ill wind that blows nobody any good.

—That Sergeant Ramsey is getting some experience in the noble art ot late, and that he is convinced that if "white hopes" are wanted they are likely to be found in the stokehold.

—That by the time our suggested anti-hatpin by-law is ready a change of fashion will be due, and women will be wearing hats so small, that hatpins will be abandoned as quite superfluous.

—That the newspaper exaggerated when it said that the recaptured escapee from the Avondale institution had " again eluded the vigilance," etc. Doesn't seem much vigilance to elude.

—That J. R. Whiting, President of 'the Bootmakers' Federation is on an organising tour, and that the insinuation that he is organising tram strikes for the benefit of the trade is a base libel.

—That the " Star's " dramatic critic was merely envious when he said Ethel Irving's male support diln't know how to wear their dress clothes—it was so different from the way in which he wore his. •

—That Messrs Bollard and Rhodes and the Hon. J. McGowan were taken to Wellington on Monday evening in charge of the Sergeant-at-Arms. It looks like a premonition of • "WilHsing" over the Speakership.

—That pro-cricketer G. J. Thomson is sorry he didn't make a closer study of the Customs laws, but philosophically remarks that there is always some self-sacrifice in doing a favour—even to cricket clubs.

—That Albert Edward was to be seen rehearsing tyrades agin Reform in muttered semitones the other day. - The direful day approaches, and A.E.s chance of a portfolio looks dim and shadowy. " But what's the odds ?" says Albert Edward resignedly.

—That our Coroner is very, firmly convinced of the superlative abilities of Dr. Moir since he made those rude remarks about the morgue, and our T.C. didn't concur as valiantly as was once his wont, because he has watched his new shell growing day by day.

—That Wellington barristers won't have whiskered juries. Is there any subtle connection between hard hearts aiid the hirstute appendage, or is it a feeling that men who can believe hair on the face to be decorative could believe even the evidence for the prosecution ?

—That the Health Department ought to give some attention to actors' and actresses' dressing-rooms in various parts of New Zealand Some of them are in a queer sanitary state, it is said. But, if pictureshows go on multiplying at the pre-'' sent rate, very soon there'll be no actors at all except the lrriematograph ones.