THINGS THE OBSERVER WOULD LIKE TO KNOW

Observer, Volume XXXII, Issue 22, 10 February 1912, Page 11

THINGS THE OBSERVER WOULD LIKE TO KNOW

—Why the poiice wouid iioi ii?<? the Harbour Bond's launch ? Afraid of white elephants, we Suppose';

—Who is to be the new Commissioner of Police ? Now then, constables, don't all epeak at once.

—Whether that suburban choir member has been able to satisfactorily explain why he kissed the parson's wife ?

—If it is true that the shingle announcing " Alison and Hutchison, land agents and valuers," is not to be hung out after all ?

—When Oliver Nicholson, as Mayor of Mt. Eden, is going to give Semple Simon all the pie he wants ? The last helping was hard-crusted.

—Whether it is not a fact that some of the Takapuna people, who are kicking against the recent timetables, each wants a ferry boat unto himself ?

—Why Missioner Muldoon did not obey the scriptural injunction and turn the other cheek also ? The other fellow said he had shown cheek enough already.

—Why Arthur Myere's new town clock can't be persuaded to moderate its pace a trifle ? The other town clocks turn reproachful-faces-upon it when it persists in striking before them.

—Whether the Harbour Board could not find another wall to break through at a cost of some thousands ? It gets rid of the money nearly as fast as tumbling a wall into the sea.

—Whether Mayor Parr ought not to fall in with his good friend Peter Mackay's proposal to donate the Mental Asylum to Wellington as an expression of sympathy on the outcome of the tram strike ?

—Why Chief Engineer Brown, of the s.s. Rarawa, does not engage kitty to peelspuds for his "finnicky" firemen ? Sandy is an adept at kissing kitty, and should get some return from the lass for his favours.

—Whether a police constable in uniform, entertaining three pretty girls in the middle of the footpath and doffing his shako to two other passing fairies, is not a better proof of fascinating popularity than of good discipline ?

—If it is true that Frank Lawry has begun to coquette with his old love Parnell in view of the _ possibility of another general election in six weeks' time ? Samuel Dixon, M.P., is keeping hie eye on him, anyhow.

—Whether Sir John Findlay doesn't agree with W. J. CawkwelFs sentiment' that Samuel Dicksbn, M.P., ought to stay in Auckland and attend to Remuera Road Board btisiness instead of wasting his time in Wellington ?

—Whether the employers won't get a " nine days wonder " shock when their young men employees ask for the approaching nine days' territorial training leave ? There are objections, from the factory point of view, to the compulsory training scheme.

—Why the Government, having caused the Merchants' Guild to be fined £100 for promoting a strike, was not consistent enough to prosecute the tailoresses, waterside workers, and general labourers who struck in Auckland P It is unfair to make fish of one and fowl of another.