THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXX, Issue 38, 4 June 1910, Page 7

THEY SAY

—That a, lady dispenser is being advertised for in the papers, but this has nothing to do with barmaids. —That, at the present rate of progress, Queen-street Wharf will be just abont finished by. the time the comet is doe round here again. -—That, so far, in spite of the arrival of tommy Taylor and other alleged Labonr magnates, Auckland has remained quite calm. —That the Sailors' Home goat would come in handy tor the use of the Masonic fraternity. It can take its little glass without winking. —That from present indications, the Hoepital Board intends to maintain ite reputation as a fighting force* Who has been treading on P.. J. Nerheny's coat? —That the Government reckons it struck a rich patch of ore in those goldmining companies that failed to furnish returns. Hard cash appears to be badly wanted. —That even the magnetic Tommy Taylor failed to draw much of a crowd at the Grey statue last Sanday. William Richardson would probably have proved a bigger draw. —That 30 domestic servants are due. in Auckland Jt>y :an in-coming Home boat, and local would be mistresses: have gone into active training for the impending forward rush. " —That a record in wire-pulling is being put up by certain individuals who covet fat billets in the territorial forces. Plenty of gold lace, big salaries, and mighty little to do. That one of Campbell and Ehrenfried's horses went on the rampage in Shortlaud-street last Saturday. Will the temperance party seize on this steed as another " horrible example ? —That there is no truth in the rumour that the person who got away with the Wellington " leader " picture has designs upon Maurice O'Connor's •• statue. Would Maurice mind if he . had? —That Sir Joseph Ward onght really to call William Richardson to the Legislative Council. It's the only chance William will have.to get into Parliament, and the Lords badly need waking, up. —That hairdressers on the other side have raised the price of a hair-cut to one shilling. If local barbers follow suit, it .will be necessary to.be a poet, fit a pianiet, or -anything of that kind Where long, hair is a trademark. \ —That the most noteworthy, feature of the Dr Henry procession lay in the fact that the parsons rode in oabs,while the mere public had to walk. Perhaps the total of the collections was too heavy for the parsons to carry without oabs. —That the Salvation Army have great hopes of roping in the whole, Education Board, with the possible exceptions of Alf. Harris and Harry Greenslade, who,won't mount the penitent bench on any pretence, "While the lamp of life dotU ; burn " ' • —That a letter written by the male party in an affiliation, ease £0 the t female aocueer visibly tickled.,the risibility of two Jaipeee on the, local Police Court bench last .week. They , were privileged with a private perusal. ; of the sultry epistle. There are some, I compensations in being a Jaipee, after*

feTliat •• lobabod,' , would be y x good motto for the Newton Football Club; for ;ttie' glory has indeed dwg« jMrtedwltkenub. »\ y~*t\* , ')ssM —That the territorial unifprm^Je^tot^fi be khaki, with a touch.of green. -If it&W bow understood that Rob Farrell WiUn not join the territorials.. ,-, ■ -;' v * $sfJg —That Thames fishermen blame silt nuUance for bad catches of fi-.b. »ym Here'e antefui ezcnse for the useof#|| unsuccessful local anglers. - ' \ —That Peter Mackay. could pat t>eV*§ police up to a wrinkle or two as re; -£jf garde the correct treatmept to out to ruffians who molest women. f'''"'\k> —That the "Star's" solicitude the afflicted Arthur Roeeer was pathetic in the extreme,, Isn't Arthur attached member of the literaiy staff? i^ —That Mieaioner Dt Heury recently' w preached on "Heaven, and How to\'je? Get There." There's nothing like die- \J coursing on a subject that one knows all about. "\ —Ihat the Caledonian Association ■V^ Football Club ought to rope in big ,%, Dauvit McLaren as a goal-keeper. It's'; '& a certainty that nothing could squeeze , '"% . past Mac. , -1$ •—That it is on the cards that Cock* Bobin will be sent Home to study , military matters. If so, he ought to; make a speciality of court - martial procedure. —That the Mount Eden troop of f| boy scouts is commanded by a gentle* man named Bust. But it is under-, ; 3 stood that the youngsters are not at £| all rusty, for all that. , —That the drinking of buttermilk vyj is the latest craze in local alleged > $ society. Surely they are buttery enough already—especially where vice* Boyalty is concerned. \^| —Thatalthough "Jacob's Ladder""'! owns to a Biblical name, it is reepon- -t sible on occasions for certain gularlv, unblbUcal expressions on the : part W local golfists. »^1 —That, according to Tommy Taylor," Labour leaders will experience a very \\ great surprise at the 1910 elections. , v; That's so ; and it may not be a very "| pleasant one, either. —That Bennie Myers finds elec- J tioneering much more exciting Pakuranga hunting—far too exciting, %| in fact. You see, Benuie bucks at idea of interviewing lady voters. . —That the poor old comet has-«| quite faded out of the public mind.l People have lost all admiration for it since it didn't wipe us out with ite:;,<f tail. Maybe'tis a pity it didn't £% That P. J. Nerheny's pathetic I.^ orations on that alleged Costley Home martyr rest of the Hospital * Board to tears—though whether ol7s* grief or otherwise history doesn't ; j| relate.' _ ~//g —That if Dr Findiay doesn't go slow with his prison labour scheme, he will have the trades unions on his v & tail. And that would probably more than even Jthe socialistic could stand.', • l*' ra! That if neither of the New Zealand \ ;| Bwimmers, now on the way flonie,.-,J| succeeds in negotiating the Channel, George Tyler has a solemn vow to v tackle the* "Smiler" should just about gefc|y^ That if many handcuffed indf-^Q viduals are permitted to jump-into harbour a la, Parker, the, dredger fcfcgj likely to have a permanent Queen,-etreet Wharf before 10ng. ,, tuQtffiJL t there already enough Jfflk^ "in the' harbourT, • > *y\ :< * V* * ' —That the City ? Council'"'intends ;;to^p eleot a toltimm ladies leeeone in bowling at^he^;Vte-j|l • toria, Park, wwnjgp*l t green >M|j eeaeon,r Golly,l{Won't chere'bjvjA rash for seats on oommitte*!^^ ' >.\ it '„; V^.^^/aH • —That a pianiet/resentlybrokethe||g world's piaß6;play4ng fKf»t^M by. wollopirig the uaoflfending inettu^fp ment for ,08 ho'nre lO^mttm^MiUmM , the time of going to prese,; ftp WaitM ha 4 brown the Dian|st-?|wit|^^