They say

Observer, Volume XXIX, Issue 43, 10 July 1909, Page 7

They say

— That Waihi was flooded oat with water on Friday. The natural result of the carrying of no-license. — That any number of wild animals could be procured for the proposed Zoo at the Queen-street tram terminus at " rush" time. — That Father Patterson is just now the handy man of his church for the province, always on hand whenever there is an emergency opening. — That Bert Stone's recipes for the latest American alcoholic decoctions had an extensive run in Auckland in the celebration of the Glorious Fourth. — That the Official Ass. has returned from grass full of his old vigour, and the Official Colt goes back to his stall with increased reputation for carrying power. — That Percy Battley has left his moorings, and gone to another anchorage, and Blue Peter is Hying ia Highstreet. Peter, it may be remarked, is very blue indeed. — That Sir Joseph Ward should have taken St. Heiier Waite to London with him instead of Detective Cassels. St. Seller is the only genuine shadow. — That the Northern Boxing Association should consider the advisability of engaging Randolph Eagleton and his megaphone as annunciator for their future carnivals. — That one Beer is supervising the erection of the Manawaru town hall. Rather appropriate, for one of the purposes of the building will be the provision for local hops. — That visitors to Rotorua will not be easy in their minds till they know whether the resplendent Maggie and the modest Bella are among the poidancers lured away to Yankeeland. — That an unemployed painter who wa« before the Court the other morning pleaded that he had only been following his regular occupation when he helped in " painting the town red." — That the Hon. J. A. Millar is working out a scheme of insurance against employment. What a lot of the "born tired" out-of-works are looking for is insurance against employment. — That if Harle Giles succeeds in running t» earth the audacious individual who offered his stylish premises as a common boardinghouse, something more than conciliation will be required for his protection. — That a Manawatu paper records the remarkable fact that a mare was impounded the other day in a very weak and " emancipated " condition. Nearly as bad as John Lynch's Coromandel " dissipated roads." — That an up-country paper states that a man died in its locality last Thursday night at 12.30, without medical assistance. When people start doing that sort of thing, the doctors do well to be angry. —That if George George doesn't Hushfully decline the honour he will be endowed with the halo of a patron Baint by the apprentices of Auckland, for his resistance to their compulsory attendance at evening technical school. — That it is wonderful how many businesses are advertised for sale " on account of ill-health;" The trouble is that one never knows whether it is the UU health of the proprietor or of the basiness that causes! the desire for selling out. .■:•> -y l ' V '-.'■. *a j, •■

— Thit Sir Joseph Ward 'wJU ; ;goV: down to history as the best "protected Premier of New Zealand. '.I — That Andrew Farmer's campaign . for the Education Board election will serve as a preliminary oanter for bis ' wider political ambitions. ' — That all is not harmony in the ranks «f the Auckland Football Association, Victor Langsford could put them up to a point or two." — That if the municipal swimming baths tire erected at Shelly Beach, a statue of Sydney William Back should be included in the scheme of decoration. — That if judges were paid by piecework, Mr Justice Edwards would be drawing nearly as large a salary just now as all his brethren of the Bench put together. — That since his raid upon the rats at the Onehunga Wharf, James Shaldrick has had fearsome dreams that lie was enacting the part of Bishop Hafcfco. — That the increase in seductive " matrimonial " advertisements of late is not flattering to the personal persuasive powers of Auckland bachelors and widowers. — That Kobert Farrell ha 9 commandeered Inspector (Jullen's blackthorn for use od the Glorious Twelfth, and wearers of green ties on that day had best beware. — Tliat Archibald Clements' benevolent expression, since thedtclaration of theKnox bequest dividend, would form tin excellent model for an up-to-date Santa Claus. — That the matter of coal leases is becoming a burning question with the University Council, and Christopher James farr is girding up his shirt sleeves for the fray. — That the frequency of farewell presentations at the Technical School indicates that by the time the new building is erected there will be practically a new staff as well. — That some of the current thrilling stories as to incidents of the Eagle's lively across-harbour trip of last Saturday indicate that a number of buddiiig Munchausens are living at Uevonport. — That after one Grljusich had been called as party to a civil case at Kaikohe ttxe other day the court orderly had to retire for tive minutes to untwist the knots into which he had tied his tongue. — Tkat the Harbour Board has been struck heavily by a wave of Liberalism, and is steering cowards making itself the most democratic ot our local bodies, Even John Kneen stands aghast with amazement. — That in spite of fearful and strenuous efforts, Kobert. JNoton has not yet succeeded in getting Canavan Smith as a recruit in his No-hat Brigade. Canavan says that his head is airy (but not hairy) enough already. — Tliat, if the Hon. George Fowlds want a Koyal Commission to help him with the syllabus problem, Denis O'Donoghue and T. U. Wells would be willing to spend some time and intellectual energy for their country's good. — Tliat there is something lacking now-adays about a Conciliation Council that ends without a general beslobbering of Conciliator Giles for his penetration and impartiality, and T. Harla himself must be getting ti,red of the monotonous repetitions. —Tliat W. J. Speight and the Laymen's League are pricking up their ears at the proposal of the Ministers' Association to hold a "retreat" at Takapuna in September, and asking if even the Liberal churches are 'verting to Koman practices. , — That the conductor and motorman . of a fonsonby car, who were recently, carpeted before the '-. pity Council Electtical Committee, were quite electrified by Peter Mackay's powers of cross - examination. So was the cbmnilttee. Pettti ought to deaerfc . I medioin<B'airi gb:to^