PARS ABOUT PEOPLE

Observer, Volume XXVIII, Issue 27, 21 March 1908, Page 4

PARS ABOUT PEOPLE

WHATEVJER may be the opinion of the general public as regards the advisability of holding cadet camps, there can be no doubt whatever that Colonel Loveday, the cadets' esteemed chief, =has devoted himself heart and soul to the interests of *h« cadet movement. His zeal is unmistakable. What is more, the Colonel is idolised by his youthful host. This was exemplified at the breaking up of the recent camp at Papakura. Before the cadets set out to catch the train home, they gathered in a body and gave three hearty and convincing British cheers in honour of their Colonel.

The Colonel himself can spin yarns by the hour concerning the devotion to duty that is displayed by his stern, uninflexible warriors. He relates how during the progress of the Christchurch Exhibition, a band of visiting cadets were told off to do sentry-go round one of the buildings where an- entertainment was about to be given. Their instructionswere that they were not to admit anybody, no matter what the excuse might be. Presently, Tom Pollavl, the official director of entertainments, came bustling along in a tremendous hurry, and made for' the door of the sacred building- He was brought up with a round turn. A diminutive sentry presented a deadly dummy rifle at Tom's manly bosom and challenged. It wasn't ■until Tom had been vouched for by an officer that this fierce fire-eater would allow him to pass into his rra n domain.

Just one more instance to illustrate the keenness of New Zealand's juvenile defenders. During the recent Papakura encampment, one of the boys was taken slightly ill, and his father, unwilling that the youngster should lose the enjoyment of camp life, obtained Colonel Loveday's permission to go out and sleep in his son's tent.- On the evening of his arrival, the father desired to leave the camp in order to procure some medicine, and was promptly challenged by the militant youngster 0 who was guarding the exit. The father explained that he wanted to go out. " All right," replied the sentinel, nonchalantly. "You can go out, but yon can't come in again." The anxieus father explained his errand, and the sentry's martial heart was touched " How long will you be?" he asked. "Twenty minutes," replied the father. "Very well," said the sentry. "I'll still be on duty then, so when you come back, knock at the gate and say ' Christehurch.' Then I'll know it's you." That youngster had the bump of resource fully developed. • • *

Bishop Lenihan has a . crow to pluck with the " Herald " and " Star." He managed to dissemble his grievance till he left Auckland, but he confided to the Sydney " Freeman's Journal " that he was dissatisfied with the indifferent reports of the magnificent' dedication ceremony of his beloved cathedral given by the Auckland daily papers. Possibly Editor Leys and Tit Douglas will hasten to send after His Lordship their apologies, and possibly they may not.

By the way, the Bishop is engaged on something more than a simple pilgrimage to Rome. His trip will be in the nature of a grand tour of the United States and Canada, lasting till June, when he has an engagement in Dublin. Then there will do tours in Germany, Belgium and Spain (where he will visit his old college), and after the Pope's J.uMLfe celebration at Rome in November , he will streak for God's Own Country, getting back to Auckland about New Year. Evidently, -the Bishop and Father Fat are booked for a big globe-trotting programme.

Claimed on behalf of Captain Tom Bayldon, harbourmaster at the Thames, that he is the commodore harbourmaster of New Zealand, whatever that may mean. Captain Tom has just completed his twenty-fifth year of service at the Thames, and from the compliments bestowed upon him by his Board last week upon his" valuable service he seems likely to go on for as much longer as he chooses. In time he will presumably become an " admiral harboiirmaster," or something ;» f that kind.

R. R. Martin, the bulky gentleman who rambles through the country in the interests of the Political Reform League, came across a unique example of red tapism during his recent tour through the Neglected North. Dr. Valintine, InspectorGeneral of Hospitals, and himself had agreed to share the expense of hiring a buggy to convey them from the township they were in to anotVr some considerable distance away. Before starting, they deemed it advisable to have a look at a road map, in order to make sure of their route. The post office being the most likely place at which to find such a map, the two wayfarers wended their way thitherwards, and in urhane and silken tones, asked the postmaster if he had a road map on the premises

The postmaster had such a map, but it was pasted up on the wall inside the sacred precincts, behind the

counter, and no mere common member of the public could be permitted to penetrate into these mysterious depths. Mr Martin, however, pointed out that Dr Valintine was a Government official, and, as such, should surely be allowed to enter even the holy of holies. The postmaster ohjecteu that the doctor was not a postal official, but, probably reflecting that it would be bad policy on his part to offend an Inspector-Gen-eral, finally was condescending enough to allow the doctor to enter, but Mr Martin was still strictly barred .

The Opposition organiser wandered sadly away, meditating over how differently these things would he done when Mr Massey - got into power. All at once, however, he struck a good angel in the disguise of a Government Stock Inspector (a singularly good disguise). This official, being the possessor of a

road map, and hearing of Mr Martin's trouble, promptly bore him off to his office, and permitted him to inspect the map to his heart's content. Having seen all he wanted to see, Mr Martin made a bee-line for the post office, where Dr. Valintine, under the supervision of His Highness the postmaster, was still inspecting the map. " Come on, doctor," said Mr Martin, " I've found another map, and it isn't framed in red tape like this one."

District Judge Kettle adapts himself very readily to his environment. At Hamilton last week he got into the sporting atmosphere. He was hearing a libel case which sprung, out of a newspaper's exposure of certain racing procedure, and all the surroundings were of the turf., turfy. His Honour rose to- the occasion, and showed a familiarity with the language and ways of the course that compelled the admiration of the'Waikato sports. By-and-bye the ventilation of the court-room was found to be oppressively stuffy. and a stalwart police sergeant wrestled in vain with the window-sashes in the efforts to obtain niore ventilation. Then, when the judge was retiring to his room to await the decision of the jury, the door jammed and refused to open. " Gentleman," observed -.a- Kettle, with a merry twinkle in his eye, '' the court itself appears to be ' running stiff to-day.' "

Lionel Terry, the anti-Chinese fanatic, is a .costly proposition to the State,: On account of his cleverness in giving leg-bail to the attendants at Seacliff, a corner of Lyttelton gaol has been converted into a mental hospital tie luxe for his detention. Terry is said to have a comfortably funished room Avith a fireplace, and to have three warders told off to look after him, two for the day time and one for night, while an asylum doctor visits him at regular intervals. Someone with an itch for figures has estimated that all this special provision is costing the public about £750 a year. Let us be thankful, then, that all criminal lunatics are not smart and dodgesome persons of the Terry type, to be pampered on a like scale.

Kx-Official Assignee Ashcroft, of Wellington, uses rather a neat parable to illustrate the way in which many small traders keep their books. Their position, he says, is very much like that of a newly-married couple of whom the husband remarked : " Now, my dear, I will give you so much every month, and you must keep an account of it. Here is a little book in which to do so." At the end of the month John said : "Well, ray clear, have you kept an account?" "Yes," replied the wife, "here it is." On opening the book the husband saw on one side : " John gave me £20." On the other side the entry was : "Spent it all." That, says Mr Ashcroft, is as much information as can be got from most bankrupts' books.

Three old hands who were in the u lc ™ of ttie event s connected with the larawera eruption fell into company in a haphazard way at a hotel luncheon table in Welington eh© other day. They were Native Land Court Johnson, who was Government agent at Rotorua when the terraces went to smithereens ; George Barker, of Waiorongomai, who was employed at Mcßae's Hotel, Wairoa, the scene of one of the tragedies of the eruption ; and R. J. Greening, now of Blenheim, who was a noted whip on ihe Rotorua- Wairoa coach line at the time. By the sheerest coincidence the three, who had not met for over twenty years, happened to dine at the same house on the day in question, and a casual conversation about earthquakes led to reminiscences which brought about a renewal of old acquaintance. An « !^ at a revival of recollections of 188/ there must have been.

Hon. George Fowlds is not sensitive to verbal triflings with his surname. Once in a while he even makes them himself. On his tour through the East Coast district he visited the kainga of a tribe whose venerable chief addressed to him a real old-time welcome. In the course of his speech the orator soared into picturesque tropes about " royal birds of flight," and reminded the visitor that Ministerial calls were " like the white crane, which comes only once in many years." Towards the courteous and flowerytongued rangatira, the Hon. George kept an. impassive countenance, But a Humorous idea had hit him, and it would have vent. " Yes/ he murmured, in an aside to the Europeans who accompanied him, . "we are a feathered crowd."

There is very often a breezy, unconventional freshness about the pulpit utterances of Bishop Julius which must be painfully shocking to many of his staid and sober hearers. During his brief visit to Auckland be has evidently noted with emphatic disapproval the failure of male Anglicans to take full advantage of the inestimable bjessings which result from a punctilious observance of the Lenten season. About 99| per cent, of these "miserable offenders" (vide Church Service) seem to be just as cheerful and happy during Lent as at Christmas time, and they don't go to church. Some time ago, the problem "Why do not men go to church?" was discussed in the columns of the Herald, which published interminable letters from innumerable writers on the subject, and left the problem where it stood. At St. Mary's Cathedral last Sunday evening, Bishop Julius solved the problem, so far as it related to Lenten observances, in one word, and that word was " cussedness !" The term seemed to be familiar to _ many of the congregation, though, ' probably, none had ever heard it spoken — quite so loudly —in that sacred edifice before.

Then, as tbe Bishop proceeded with the thread of his discourse, he seemed to "cotton" to the word, for he reeled it out once more. He addressed himself to another knotty problem, and that was why such a large number of married men lead their faithful eponses such uncomfortable lives ? The answer was the same ; it all arose from the "cussedness" of the male creatures. The ladies in the congregation sighed with sad assent. But the Bishop followed up with the unexpected remark that in this respect there were many women who were just as bad as the men. Whereat the men laughed audibly, and matrons frowned, while one portly dame looked daggers and broomsticks at the preacher.

The incident was, of course, not so amusing as that with which Moore Richard of Auckland convulsed the good people ot St. Barnabas's about a year ago, but it was decidedly refreshing, though not quite Lenten in character. Whatever may be thought of Bishop Julius's solution of the cause of matrimonial jars, there is no doubt that his theory of the cause of men's absence from church is both simple and sound. The term "cussedness" covers the whole ground — from an ecclesiastical point of view.

Judge Edger's Native Land Court has been sitting in Auckland for the greater part of a week over a<contested Maori will case, with two detectives carefully watching the evidence in view of possible developments. It was the judged action in sending for the detectives that caused C. J. Parr, as counsel for one of the parties, to throw out the challenge of bias which His Honour thought was sufficiently counterbalanced by his own reputation for impartiality on the Bench. But the story goes that the invocation of the police was grounded upon a supposition which turned out to be a delightful specimen of the genus mare's nest. Suspicion fell upon the authenticity of the signature to the will, which certainly was not in the handwriting of "the person whose name it represented. Word was accordingly passed to the police that there was a glorious opportunity of tripping up someone for a criminal act.

The detectives came, with eyes and ears on the gui vive, but, alas, the expected sensation did not materialise. As the evidence was unfolded, the apparent forgery was explained simply enough. Witnesses were on hand who swore that, while it was true that the testatrix did not sign the document, another person had attached her name to it at her request, she herself touching the handle of the pcn — a not uncommon way ot getting the signature of an invalid. And so the apparent forgery scandal vanished into thin air, whatever other phases of the case might afterwards develop. Of course it was a shock to the feelings of the vigilant detectives — but projjably the police are case-hardened by long experience against feeling too keenly the disappointment of misleading scents.

Robert E. Lester, late of Hokianga, deserves a niche in tbe temple of fame all to himself. His modesty is preternatural, liobert E. has just shaken the dust of the district from off his feet, and, as he did his share while there to help along the interests of the Far North, some enthusiastic admirers proposed to give him a "farewell social" as a send-oft. But Mr Lester said " Avaunt ye," or words to the same effect, and is quitting Hokianga without beat of drum. In these days the man who voluntarily foregoes a farewell shivoo, with the probable presentation of a " handsome walking-stick " or a " chaste case of pipes," is a person whose self-suppres-sion is worth noting.

Dr Stopford's resignation of his seat on the City Council is a matter for regret, but can hardly cause surprise. The wonder rather is that a man so fully occupied with professional work was ever able to spare time for service upon a public body. At the same time, it is pertinent to ask what has become of the brilliant scheme of socialistic reforms which the doctor entered tho Council to advocate. W hy, we have not even got the municipal supply of humanised milk, to say nothing of the rest.

George B. Main (better Known, perhaps, to the general public as " Skipper "), severed bis connection with the firm of Macky, Logan, Caldwell and Co. last Friday night, after eighteen years' continuous service. Such an event could not be allowed to pass unnoticed by his business colleagues, and the result was that the employees of the tirm decided to present their departing comrade with a substantial token of their regard for him. The presentation, which was made with appropriate and eulogistic eloquence by the house manager, Mr C. A. Graham, consisted of a gold sovereign case and a purse of sovereigns. • * * *

As before stated, Mr Main entered the service of the tirm eighteen years ago, when he was a very juvenile member of the community. lie worked his way up gradually through the various junior grades, and finally was placed in charge of the woollen department, a position which he held until he left. Mr Main was deservedly popular among the business men with whom he came in contact, and, outside of business hours, the genial " Skipper" was known to a host of friends as a prince of good fellows, and a piscatorial artist of no^mean ability. May good luck go with him !

The retirement from the. bench of 11. S. Bush, S.M. and Warden of the Hauraki goldfields, which takes place at the end of the present month, will be regretted from Cape Colville to Te Aroha. During his long residence in the district Mr Bush's name has been a synonym for impartiality and strict justice, and it is a high tribute to his amiable personal qualities that throughout his dealings with conflicting interests he has retained his present high degree of popularity. There is no magistrate in the colony in whose fairness and judgment greater confidence is reposed by the public.

under admirable direction. Apart from his even-handed administration of the law, Mr Bush has made himself acquainted with every corner of the fields under his jurisdiction. The thorough knowledge of the interests of the industry thus acquired has been an important factor in his successful career on the goldfields. Mr Bush has been connected with the Government service for between forty and fifty years, and 35 years of this has been spent on the bench. With one exception he is the senior magistrate of the Dominion at ohe present moment. Mr Bush may well be proud of the irreproachable record which he will carry into private life.

John Patterson is promptly in the held as a candidate for the vacant seat in the City Council. And ex-Council-lor John is a strong card to play. Already he has had some years' experience as a member of the Council, and at the last general election 2,152 votes were cast in his favour, placing him next on the poll to the lowest successful aspirant. That the runnerup to the present Council should ask the burgesses for the renewal of an old confidence is reasonable enough.

William Kichardson enjoyed a brief, but not more than unusually lucid, interval on the Band stand in the Albert Park last Sunday after' noon. He can not longer command the crowds which formerly listened to bis intemperate tirades on temperance. At one time I hie crowd sought him ; now he has to seek the crowd. Last Sunday afternoon he found one waiting for the massed bands. He occupied the Rotunda till the clock struck three, and he told an impatient musician that his windy discourse was far more profitable than what the bands would be able to produce from their " old brass instruments."

A bystander anxiously inquired whether William himself was a wind instrument himself, and, if he were, was he brass or wood ? He was told that the orator was a marvellous conij bination of both ; that for woodenheadedness and brazen assurance, the great William would take the bun anywhere. W. K. concluded with a peroration in which be fired oft' one of his characteristic broadsides at Bishop Neligan, and fervently expressed the hope that the Lord would keep Moore Richard in England permanently. This would never do. Auckland

,By all concerned in mining interests Mr Bush's term of. office m this province will be remembered as a period when the goldfields were

could never do. without its Neligan. But, fortunately, William's influence in that matter dot* not count lor much; ;: / /