THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXVIII, Issue 26, 14 March 1908, Page 7

THEY SAY

— That J. J. Craig's favourite lilt this week has been " Have you seen my • Flora' cast this way ?" —That the Central Million 1 are about to turn over a new Leafe. This ought to be gratifying to A. J. Black. — Tbat West End coxswain Elliott ought to feel highly flattered. He was rescued from a watery grave by the hand that shook the King's. — That the happy look that is worn by Sam Dickson this week is caused by a double event — that new verandah and that new Lib. -Lab. branch. — That the Methodist parsons may all be cold water men, but they drew the line at a cold water picnic while the storm was in progress last Saturday. — That the Htrald had an article in its household column last week on " How to Make Hash." The Herald supplement would make a good object lesson. — That it is not safe to condole with Wor Master Charlie Blomfield on the subject of that fire. It was another Charles who suffered the affliction. — That, if a name goes for anything, Lieut. -Colonel Horskin, of tihe Salvation Army, ought to be a pretty tough customer. It takes a lot to puncture a horse-skin. — That the members of the Trades and Labour Council are now known as "The Mares' Nesters." George Knight is thinking of taking out a copyright for the title. — That Dr Sharman's numerous friends are sniffing audibly at him just now. The doctor's numerous visits to measley Motuihi are the cause of this unusual behaviour. —That the Haraer who is going to engineer proceedings at the Opera House is no relation to the Harbour Board magnate. Auckland is Fuller of Hamers than ever. —That " Oily" Nicholson will, in a few weeks, bear up under a new Masonic dignity that will make even the Right Worshipful Lieut. -Colonel turn green with envy. —That it has taken three years to build the new post office at Greymouth. Why didn't they put Arthur Rosser on the job? Then it would have been built in three weeks. -^That H. Munro Wilson blushed to the eyes when he read the Herald's description of him as a " retiring engineer." But that was only another proof of his retiring disposition. — That the disorganization in the Tramways power station will temporarily throw something like one hundred motormen and conductors out of employment. Quite an electric shock. — That the increase of a million sterling in the Auckland land valuations shows conclusively how Government surpluses are made. Another turn of the taxation screw, and yet another. —That Sergeant Mick Murphy shall not sing to-night nor any other night. He has been transferred to Wellington, and Arthur Skinner's stories concerning the windy city are not encouraging. — That Kennedy Ramford expressed himself as charmed with Alfred Hill's ■•• Waiata Poi" composition. But did Kennerley sample any of dear Clive Lowe's masterpieces ? Alfred Hill is a mere, amateur compared to the dear one.

—That Harold Wiles caught the first fish at the chemists' picnic. The fish couldn't resist the wiles of Wiles. —That John Kneen returns from the maritime conference with modest words, but with an " Alone I did it" expression that conveys volumes. —That Onehunga actually woke up from its slumbers for a tew hours last {Sunday. Home broken tramway wires caused the Onehungarians to skip lively. —That Mayor Johnny Rowe, of Onehunga, has decided to take on another term of office. But has lie obtained the permission of the foreman o.f works ? — That John McLeod is making a bold bid to rope the whole of Parhament into the Uddfellows. A bad look-out for the British Medical Association. —That Charley Short has been before the magistrate for allowing a horse to wander in Queen-street. Charley must imagine that he is still in Paeroa. —That the Fire Hoard have decided objections to running jewellery busineases in connection with their tire depots. Somebody is looking for a new workshop. — That tramway manager Walklate has had to act up to his name on several evenings wnile the cars have been going wrong. Sweet are the uses of adversity. — That Mayor George Sayers was greatly shocked at Town Clerk Irwin's assertion that the Chinese had been damming the Arch Hill sewer. Where are the missionaries ? —That Commissioner McKie got more cold water than he bargained for at Bell's Island last Sunday. Perhaps the Trades and Labour Council had something to do with it. — That the honorary medical Btaffat the hospital contains one doctor who is Sweet and another who is Savage. No wonder the British Medical Association don't always agree. — That the medal for candour goes to a boardinghouse-keeper in business at one of the Trunk Line settlements. Her sign "Boarders Taken stalls, at any rate, any accusation of deceit. —That the Key. C. A. B. Watson, who comes shortly to St. Paul's, isn't nearly the itinerant parson that his initials seem to suggest. On the contrary, he spent five years in his last charge. —That Eugene Hulse, 8.M., takes exception to Bandmaster Mohr's statement that Auckland could turn out the best band in New Zealand. It would take Eugene Hulse, 8.M., to do that. Ask Onehunga. — That Prime Minister Ward, on his very speechy tour of the North, often wished that he could pour hia voice into a phonograph, and let that suffice. For one speech would have served nearly everywhere. — That more than one Devonport son of the sea has, since last Sunday, taken the precaution to lay in a stock of antidotes for seasickness. They find that Frank Whittaker's chestnuts only aggravate the trouble. — That Admiral Jackson heaved a huge sigh of relief when he found that his flagship had not gone to pieces with the rest of the armada last Sunday. It would have knocked those fishing outings on the head. — Tfcat the eloquence of Brother P. J. Nerheny after his initiation as a member of the Fountain was considered by his brethren to quite pufc Sir Joseph's in the shade, but P. J., it must be remembered, has kissed the Blarney stone. —That Mayor Bond, of Hamilton, has proved hia belief in the late King Dick's precept of keeping tha cradles fall, and the Borough Council has presented him with a silver cradle in consequence. Which of our numerous local Mayers will be the next ?