THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXVII, Issue 48, 17 August 1907, Page 7

THEY SAY

— That at the next wool clip Louis Blitz's locks are to be shorn. Then what will the Orphans do ? — That the Grand Opera Company left Auckland with a new and improved title : " The Grand Uproar Company." — That the Herald's sensational account of tbe "flood" in Queenstreet last Monday was a sad example of journalism run mad. — That Arthur Rosser says he never descends a hill without feeling thankful that he has. got to the bottom. Is Arthur going to the bottom of the hill? — That two more unfortunate people have died while under chloroform. These patients have a most annoying habit of dying. It irritates the doctors. — That it will be cheaper for the working man to call in a doctor than buy a box of Beeeham's pills, if the* tariff on patent medicines increases at the present rate — That tbe Empire's " Daphne " proved an arch-priestess of fiction. Her startling exit from the happy home is the talk of the swell young pleaders at the bar. — That Wally Heath's bogus telegram from the New Zealand Rugby Union fetched the crowd at the professional team's farewell. Wally's sense of humour is abnormal. — That the .Devonport Borough Council, in deciding on Stanley-street as a site for a morgue, have struck the happy medium between the sea, the football ground, and the racecourse. — That the Johnnies — bald - headed and otherwise — are disconsolate. The Venusberg and Brocken girls have departed with the Grand Uproar Company, and once more life is a blank. — That Bank Manager Duthie's moustachios had the true triumphant heavenly point when the National Bank's yearly report came to light, but friend Lawson should surely share honours. — That the Auckland Hospital Board trembled when they approached the Auckland port Health Officer, to see if he would condescend to add to his yearly income. The doctor was not asleep on that occasion. — That more than one strict Sabbatarian was glad that there was a plentiful supply of cabs outside the theatre laßt Sunday morning when the opera ended. They wanted a dark place to hide their blushes in. — That Allsopp is the name of the Hospital Board's architect, but the members of the Board may find that the funds of the Board are all sopped up if the building schemes suggested by that gentleman are carried out in full. — That truth brings its own reward on the Auckland Harbour Board staff. Harbour- master Duder bore out Foretnan Taylor's statements " to the hilt," but John has not been decorated yet for his stability land truthfulness. What will the reward be when it comes ? — That Mr J\ H. Upton's concluding remarks bo the colonial l^ero, Marshall, who, when he heard the girl of the Shelly Beach mystery scream, ran for a .policeman, were : " When there is a boasting of courage going around in your presence, young man, don't aay yoti are a colonial, but slink out."

— That the Central Mission are looking for an expert in hand • writing. The mystery about those letters deepens. — That Arthur Skinner has been transferred to Wellington. Dr Stopford is now fche champion local wrestler. — That a gentleman called Johnstone is a soloist at A. J. Black's "Men Only" meetings. The name seems familiar, somehow. — That the Wellington Times has got a Jewell. He used to be a Star performer in the 2nd contingent, but joined the Lancers. — That, from all present appearances, beer and leather will soon come into conflict in a maritime suburb. More connubial bliss shattered. — That, if Dickie Ward is looking for material for another romantic novel, he will probably find it in mission circles. He's on the righr, scent. — That more than one gentleman of mature age has recently become a convert to the Sandow system of physical culture. Why? Ask John Fuller. — That the Lib-Labs are greatly pained and shocked with Peter Mackay for voting in favour of strap-hanging. The trouble is that Peter doesn't seem to care. — That there are some queer stories going the rounds about some of those aristocratic bridge parties. The eternal feminine appears to be a singularly good gambler. — That the Harbour Board mechanical and draughtsmen's staff billets are gradually being transferred from the deserving sons of colonials to " friends from Home." —That, judging from present appearances, the time is not far distant when convicted felons will be tendered an apology by the judge for being prosecuted at all. — That Louis Blitz is determined that next time the "toy symphony" squeaks its way before the Orphans, the Rabbi will not be alone in his rattling at the finish. — That those fascinating English duchesses. and countesses will not be so anxious to make a fuss over George Smith this time. Professionalism makes all the difference. — That one of Paul Hansen's tram lords mistook Doctor Stopford's attitude on the strap-hanging question before the Council, and now the doctor " hops the lame duck." — That Arthur Rosser is very evidently Councillor Knight's Svengali. The words and expressions used on Tram Straphanger Crank "nights are distinctly Arthur's. Poor old Knight. —That while Alfred Michelly's appearance was not particularly romantic, there was considerably more than one romance in his history. The fair sex, apparently, are not altogether guided by appearances. — That a very bad case of insanity arrived at the mental hospital last week. It was an idiotic person who wanted to subscribe a shilling towards the Seddon , memorial instead of towards the Webb testimonial. — That the- troubles of the Grand Uproar Company have nofc made George Musgrove any thinner. But wait till the valet-served Germans strike the Wellington climate. Then there will be more grand uproar. — That there is weeping and gnashing of teeth among local amateur singers who had their voices tried by «' Slapp." None of them were offered leading parts. As for joining the chorus — such a suggestion is an insult. — That the enterprising gentleman who thought that someone was drowning off Shelly Beach, and whose only impulse was to -report the matter at the police station, must have been anxious to. emulate the heroic example of Constable Berry.