PARS ABOUT PEOPLE

Observer, Volume XXVII, Issue 43, 13 July 1907, Page 4

PARS ABOUT PEOPLE

THOMAS LISLE, a gentleman of j figures, though scarcely of figure, .i who recently discovered in Auck- j land a more agreeable abiding place ( than Christchurch, met with a streak s of very bad luck when out for his j customary saunter in Princes - street < the other evening. The streak of bad | luok was in the form of an irate huß- \ band. To make matters clearer, it ( may be explained that the irate bus- E band was a party by the name of ] Smith, at whose villa in Epsom the ' debonnair Lisle has been a paying t guest. The party by. the name of « Smith has been somewhat dissatisfied { with the current and complexion of i affairs in his domestic menage, and as ] the result of the discovery of a budget i of letters, he has commenced an action \ for divorce against his wife, citing , Lisle as the co-respondent. s < 1 i

It was probably with a mind rilled ■with perplexing problems suggested •by these proceedings that Lisle, in a thoughtful mood, was promenading Princes-street when he met Smith. There was an altercation, as may naturally be supposed, and eventually a battle royal. Smith conducted the battle. When he had wiped the street -with Lisle, who, by the way, considers himself a very much wronged individual, there was plenty of work for a doctor, a nurse, and a pound of beefsteak. Smith is certainly a very impatient individual, but his excuse is that the Divorce Court sits so seldom, with long intervals between the sessions, and there is nothing like taking time by the forelock. In this instance, time was spelt L i-s-l-e. ♦

♦ «•» Basso profundissimo Andrew Black is a Scotsman, but, for a' that and a' that, it is to belioped he has a sense of humour, otherwise the vagaries of a southern comp. are liable to cause him to expostulate fortissimo. The said cemp., in setting up Mr Black's programme, came across the item "The Land of the Leal." Being only an unmusical Sassenach, he set the item up as " The Land of the Seal," and quite a number of foolish people turned up at that concert under the entirely mistaken impression that they were going to hear a topical comic sea song, perhaps with an allusion to the liberated Exhibition seals thrown in. Truly, comps have much to answer for.

The Hon. George Fowlds told the ■Wellington Education Board that school buildings cannot be erected upon anything but freehold lands. More recently, speakiDg to the Taranaki cow-spankers, he urged the setting aside of endowments on lease for educational purposes. Which leads one to the supposition that, in the hon. gentleman's opinion, what is sauce for the goose is not sauce foi the gander. But, anyway, how does this talk of the freehold happen to corue out of the mouth of a Single Taxer? .«. ••• •••

Julius Marcus Superbus Knight is not only an actor, he is also a sculptor of no mean order—in fact, if Julius ever turns up the stage as a profession, it is probable that he could make an excellent income at "busting" folk. For instance, w,hen in Wellington on one occasion he " busted " one Livingstone, a grandson of explorer David, of that ilk. By the way, Livingstone took his bust to Frisco, and he'd no sooner got there than the earthquake came along and made a collection of .atomß out of the bust. When Mr Knight appears as Pygmalion in "" Pygmalion and Galatea," it may be taken for granted that the sculping of Galatea's head is reality and not ■ stage-craft. But considering the number of duels that Julius has fought '■" with his shining sword on the stage, the unsophisticated might be par- '■ doned for supposing that he- was a -■ carver and not a sculptor.

W. F. Massey, M.H.R., complains that the Chriatchiirch Exhibition was premature. Perhaps it was, but it also appears as though Mr Massey's objections were rather belated. So the Government and Opposition are quits.

Dr Starr Jordan, of the Stanford University, California, is a gentleman of expansive figure. His smile is expansive, too. So is his voice. In fact, he's all expansion. The Doctor .is a lecturer who gives his hearers straight talk without any unnecessary frill to it. He is a believer in the theory that this century is to be strenuous and democratic. Of course, it isn't absolutely necessary for anyone to come all the way from America to tell us that. We can deduce it — from labour unions and other signs of the times. However, as Shakespeare says : •• It ain't exactly wot the Doctor sez — it's the naice way as 'ow c sez it." By the way, speaking in the South, Dr Jordan remarked, concerning Andrew Carnegie's gifts to other places : — " You would do well to get that Scotch-British-American millionaire to extend equal treatment to the ' Dominion of New Zealand." It's lucky Judge Edwards isn't in the colony, or such remarks might greatly pain and shocK him. But what on earth does "Scotch-British 1 ' mean? Might as well call Dr Jordan an AmericanCalifornian.

C. H. Poole wants to know what would happen if the Russians invaded us. There's no cause for fear. It would ODly be necessary for C. H. Poole himself to give the Russians some specimens of his iarnous " dry

humour." It would be far more destructive than a battery of maxims. Under the circumstances, those of the foe who survived would probably not wait to ask " Who is Foole 1" It isn't a Russian invasion that is to be feared. It is a Yankee one. The in.vasion has already started so far as politics are concerned.

J. H. Bradney's fight at the Harbour Board against the intended method of ordering the proposed new tag has been successful in bringing about some degree of caution. The Board has decided now to ask for specifications of a vessel of the contemplated requirements. When these are received, they will be considered by the Board. Let us hope that they will also be submitted to the Government Inspector of Machinery. By the way, it would be interesting to know whether the specifications produced at the last meeting of the Board were identical with those to which Mr Bradney, in the first instance, took such strong exception. If they were not, did they include any or all of Mr Bradney's ideas, and, if so, why have these valuable suggestions not been acknowledged ?

Prior to the departure of Mr St. Clair for Europe last week, his retirement from the firm of T. H. Hall and Co. was definitely announced. It has been town talk since the time of the mayoral election that this dissolution of partnership was in contemplation. Indeed, it was brought abxjut by the mayoral election, for which Mr St. Clair was a candidate in opposition to Mr A. M. Myers. The candidature of his partner did not commend itself to the approval of Mr Hall, and, as a 2onsequ-nce, the retirement of Mr St. Clair from the firm was arranged.

No one can truthfully assert that Bishop Xehgan does uot provide the various sections of his flock with interesting subjects of conversation. Recently the good people of the parish of St. Barnabas, Mount Eden, were highly favoured in this way. The right reverend prelate addressed them when he was in one of his most genial and interesting moods. He narrated a little incident which caused many of the young people, to titter audibly. Matronly dames thrust their handkerchiefs into their mouth", and shook in their seats with silent but volcanic laughter, while hot tears coursed down their flaming cheeks.

Most of the few men who were present turned purple with suppressed merriment, and appeared to be threatened with fatal apoplexy. A number of people were actually constrained to leave the building and give vent to their feelings outside. And now the ladies never ask the wen what they were laughing about, and the men, with one accord, refrain from broaching the subject to the ladies. But when the ladies are alone they tell the story over again, and laugh once more ; and when the men are by themselves, they rehearse the incident and. laugh vociferously, again. What was it ?•■•■'

Through powerful influence, touring Charlie Williamson was allowed to land at Durban, while all the other 450 passengers on the s.s. Runic were compelled to remain on board. Powerful influence, eh ? He must have carried a credential letter from Warren Blyth. Nothing else would have done it.

One of the witnesses in the Rule case appeared to hold strange views upon what constituted peculiarity in a person's conduct. This witness classed the late Mrs Cox as peculiar because she used to go to sleep. Most of us go to sleep sometimes — even M. H. R.s, but presumably this particular witness looks upon such a proceeding as an absurdity. Which would imply that the views held by this witness on the subject of peculiarity are somewhat peculiar.

Robert Logan's exertions in the direction of assisting the Harbour Board, in his capacity as member for the Devonport borough, to impose higher water charges on the Devonport ferry steamers have borne fruit. But it is bitter fruit to the Devonport people. The price of the annual ticket on the ferry steamers has been raised from £5 to £6. There is plenty of talk across the water just now against the ferry monopoly, but it ought to be borne in mind that the increase is governed by the principles of sound business, and is not the fault of the ferry monopoly so much as the water-to-the-shipping monopoly. In any trade, the increased cost of an article means an increased price to the consumer, and it is the same with ferry travelling as with anything else.

At the present market price of shares, the Ferry Company succeeds in paying a dividend of less than six per cent, and carrying a small balance forward, which is not by any means a big return to shareholders who have bought cheir stock in recent years. The increase in the charge for water, which is a considerable item in the Company's expenditure, is 500 per cent. This, of course, must be made good from additional revenue, and hence the increase of twenty per cent, in the annual tickets. A section of the Devonport people quite enjoy lending a hand in any movement to penalize the Ferry Company. This increase in the cost of the water supply has brought it forcibly home to them that they are only succeeding in penalizing themselves and their neighbours.

Dr Stopford, one of the witnesses in the slaughtermen's dispute, is reported by the Star as saying : — "He had served an apprenticeship of four years in his own profession next door to a slaughterhouse, and had frequently gone in and done a little killing." Getting his hand in, eh ?

R. W. Allen, an old Grammar School and University College boy who went Home some eight years ago to study medicine, has made big strides in his profession in a marvellously short space of time. Proceeding to Guy's Hospital, London, Mr Allen was successful in winning the Gull Scholarship, one of the highest honours which it is possible to obtain in the medical world. Although he cannot be much more than 30, Mr Allen is entitled to write after his name the letters M.A., M.8., and 8.5., and he has already made no small name for himself in medical circles. For instance, only a short time ago he delivered a lecture at the Royal Eye Hospital on "Pathology of the Eye," a unique honour for so young a man, and, also, in conjunction with G. Newton Pitt and M. S. Pembrey, he has published a pamphlet entitled " Observations Upon Cheyne-Stokes Respiration." This work was issued under the auspices of the Royal Medical Chirurgical Society, so that it bears on it the hall-mark of authoritative approval.

But Mr Allen is best known perhaps in connection with opsonic work, in which he is at present specialising. The opsonic treatment is one which is in its infancy, and is practically unknown out here so far as practice is concerned. It is a, system of injection by which it is cla'nued that so-called chronic diseases of a certain nature can be absolutely eraduaic>l from the system. Certainly, some of the results which have been brought about are of a startling nature, and Mr Allen has done wisely in making a speciality of a branch of treatment which bids fair to revolutionise one of the branches of the profession. Many old Auckland boys have done well at Home in the past, but it must be gratifying to Mr Allen's old school mates and university colleagues to know that his record is likely to equal, if not eclipse, any of those put up in the past. With such a bright future before him at Home, it need surprise nobody to find that he has no intention of coming back to Auckland.

H. Okey, M.HK, for New Ply mouth, ought really to be careful, or he runs a grave risk of having his career nipped in the bud. Mr Okey wants to know whether the Hon. J. A. Millar is aware that members of the Conciliation Board are travelling through the different districts stirring up strife among the dairy factory employees. This is a deadly insult to the philanthropic Arthur Kopser, and no man can insult Arthur with impunity. Besides, of course, the trades unionists, in the gratitude of their hearts, will send Arthur to Parliament at next election, and then the obnoxious Okey will have to give an account of himself. Mr Okey is only a new member, and to commence his Parliamentary career with such an awful slight on Arthur the Great is terrible indeed to think about.

Councillor Jerry Lundon, of sweet Parnell, is a diplomatist, but his diplomacy doesn't always touch the spot. The Parnell Borough Council deputationised the City Council recently about water charges, and Jerry laid his hand on his heart and remarked that a reduction in the cost of water would appeal to the hearts of the people of Parnell, and tend towards incorporation in a Greater Auckland. The latter sentence was a tempting bait to dangle before the nose of Mayor Myers. But, alas for the diplomatic Jerry ! The touching statement apparently did not appeal to the heart of His Worship, and once more the diplomatist's eloquence, after hurtling in the air for a brief space, fell to the floor with the inevitable dull, sickening thud. Did anybody hear William Johns chuckling?

C. A. SfcubbS) who is acting as liquidator of the Bunker's Hill Gold Mining Company, can point to a record of 11J years' work in connection with that company in the position of secretary. As the Bunker's Hill is now amalgamating with the Old Hauraki, Mr Stubbs will, in the ordinary course of events, sever his connection with the former company. That his services during his secretarial career have been highly appreciated is evidenced by the many eulogistic sentiments expressed towards him by the Bunker's Hill directorate at a recent meeting, when the liquidation fee, on the. motion of Mr J. J. Craig, was fixed at £100. This somewhat abnormal amount was voted to Mr Stubbs because, some time ago, out of consideration for the position of the company, he had been contented with a decreased salary. The compliments were not all on , one •ide, however, Jor| Mr ■ Stubbs swaß ;

able, on his part, to congratulate the directors on: the manner in which they had always conserved and promoted the interests of the company.

Sir Joseph Ward mentions the fact that Major Tuson, the newly-ap-pointed Adjutant-General, speaks five languages. This is lucky. He will be able to adequately relieve his feelings * when inspecting an awkward squad. But if the qualifications for an Adju-tant-Generalship are judged by the number of languages he speaks, why go out of the col — dominion for one? Why, for instance, shouldn't Maurice Keesing fill the bill ?

F. G. Ewington says we are so absorbed in money - making and pleasure that we cannot think of national defence. Who's making money ? Who's absorbed in pleasure? Does Mr Ewington refer to himself orto the whole community ? Or is this a quiet slap at the lawyers who have been engaged in the Mamari Calliope Dock. case?

According to Mr Laurenson, M. U. R. , prisoners in the gaols oughtto be supplied with wholeeorae literal ture. Why not take a leaf out of thV£ Hon. George Fowlds's book and start ; a Gaol Journal ? If it was anything-^ like the School Journal, it oughts tor] have a great reforming influence. ; Ji% new and enlarged edition of P. ~ifc.i\ Vaile's works might do, only somei; people have an abaurd prejudice.; against any resurrection of .the baoVf old days when a gaol was a place oj| torture, , v. -\.<.., ■■-\;-^&s£m