THE MILLENNIUM.

Observer, Volume XXVII, Issue 38, 8 June 1907, Page 23

THE MILLENNIUM.

A HYPOCRITICAL HYPOTHESIS

To perpetrate a crime, 'Tis requisite to rhyme In metre which is horribly erratic. To make allusions rude About some people good Must cause the poet transports most ecstatic. So, as a pleasant task, Some questions I would ask — Some questions quite irrelevant and odious ; In metre which is queer, And rather weak, I fear, In song which is extremely unmelodious. • ■ • Why not ? Why not lis the burden of my song. Altho' the idea may p'raps seem rum, Why shouldn't a change for the better come, Producing a bright millennium — Why not? why not? Why shouldn't we strive — for 'tis right, I ween — To Taise our ideas from " might have been," Why shouldn't we keep all the city clean — Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not? The question may seem strange. Why shouldn't the Hospital Board retrace It's steps from the borders of dire disgrace And the ambulance keep in the . proper place — Why not? Why not? For 'tis clear to be seen that some rumours are rife That the system of contract's a system of strife, And the Hospital Board should regard human life — Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not? 'Tis like my blessed cheek. Altho' it might cause to the public surprise, Why shouldn't some modesty characterise The great P. A. Vaile, and obliterate Is— Why not? Why not? Why shouldn't P. A., with repentance, deplore The fact that he'd written, and write nevermore, Why ehonldn't he see that he's rather a bore — Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not? Excuse my silly way. Why shouldn't' the scribe, Dr Bake well, find A reason to cause him to change his mind, And think of the readers he's left behind — Why not? Why not? ~ Why shouldn't he go to his sacred den And graap once again his trusty pen, Dispensing sweet wisdom to fellowh.^u men — Why not? Why not? Why not ? Why not ? with reverence I ask Why that great commercial chap called Payne Should exploit his talents and all in vain — Will he work his typewriter once again ? — Why not ? Why not ?

Will he show us the way that we ought to gee In order to come in a slight degree On a par with the aristocracy — Why not? Why not ? Why not? Why not? Permit me just to ask Why Wesley Spragg and his battery crew Shouldn't love Arthur Rosser as well as you, And give worthy Arthur aasistance, too — Why not? Why not? As creamery managers say that they Desire to come under Arthur's sway — Well, why shouldn't Wesley rejoice and be gay — Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not? Improvement we might see If Richardson only would once agree From cold water maxims to shake him free And swallow some whisky with his tea — Why not? Why not? Tho' Billy rejoices to be among A cynical crowd to exert his lung, Why shouldn't he better his silver tongue — Why not? Why not ? Why not? Why not? Altho' 'tis bally rot, Why shouldn't the Harbour Board express Their fervent wish to have something less Of elephants white — 'twouldn't cause distress — Why not? Why not ? Why shouldn't they get 'em in solid bulk And fasten 'era up to the powder hulk, Then blow them all vp — people wouldn't sulk — Why not? Why not? Why not ? Why not ? Excuse my evil ways. Why shouldn't the worthy Qqinlan Pat Reduce his superfluous roll of fat By running a series of races flat — Why not? Why not? With Julian and Bollard to set the pace 'Twould probably prove an alluring race, And fill Patrick's figure with fairy grace — Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not? Oh, listen while I rave. The British Army, I've heard them say, Requires a commander •in - chief to-day, So what about Napier — William J.-^-Whynot? Why not ? For William's a man with a haughty air, And the Government bows when he says "Take care," So he'd be in his element over there — Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not? I ask you once again Why Councillor Stopford should not delight In phrases refined and words polite, And smother his notions for stirring fight — Why not? Why not?

Why shouldn't he go to the Labour crew And tell them such tactics will never do — For — well, I'm blessed if I know — do you, Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not? I'm feeling rather tired. But, why, I ask, shouldn't Hansen say He'd leave off his work on the cars to-day, And pass on the job to Shorty Way— ' Why not? Why not? Then cars would be run in the latest style, They'd take half-an-hour just to run a mile ; For Shorty's so lively and free from guile — Why nob? Why not? Why not? Why not? Just half a moment, please. Why shouldn't, according to Mr Pratt, The workers have rifles and point them at The capital tyrants, and knock them flatWhy not? Why not? Why shouldn't the working meo acquire The good things to which their hearts aspire, If they're looking for rifles with which to fire — Why not? Why not ? Why not? Why not? The reason's hard to find. Why shouldn't George George have a right to rule Just as he may please at his little school — The man who objects is a sad, sad foolWhy not? Why not? Why shouldn't he fetch in ideas new ('Tis clear he possesses a tidy few) Why shouldn't he do what he wants to do — Why not? Why not ? Why not? Why not? I ask it just for fun. Why shouldn't we cease from our wicked sin, And Gresham's lugubrious approval win, By building a morgue he can revel in — Why not? Why not? A theatre we'd build him in which he could, With talent dramatic by chance ira~ bued, Exert his talent, and, if he should — Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not? There muat be reason why. Why doesn't Michael Walsh get wed, Why does he naehelorise instead ? Often from ladies you'll hear it said : Why not? Why not? Michael' 1 " a youth with a style ornate, Why should he dwell as "a celibate? Why don't he hurry and choose a mate — Why not? Why not? Why not ? Why not ? I've had my little say. Why shouldn't poets be boiled in oil? Why should they live this bright earth to spoil ? Shouldn't their sins on themselves recoil — Why not » Why not? Shouldn't they all be sent out to dwell ' In the dim, dark depths of a padded cell? You think so, I know — so do I, as well — Why not? Why not?