THEY SAY

Observer, Volume XXVII, Issue 37, 1 June 1907, Page 7

THEY SAY

—That a few horse - owners left Takapuna Course last Friday badly worried with an itch. The double scratching raised the trouble. — That Captain Alexander Kettle lauded a little hoarse when he arrived from Sydney on Sunday last. (Not a printers' error, but a sore tbroat). — That the nose- biting outrage in the south was a product of the season. Most of us grow used to getting our noses snapped off in cold weather. — That since the departure of Andrew Mack, the Irish blight has seized the Hibernian membeis of the community. Michael Sheahan looks quite dejected. — That Sam White is searching all round, the town for a reliable hair restorer. Since the cold weather came on he has missed his luxuriant whiskers. — That as the Pacific Club has become far too peaceful, W. J. Speight intends to waken things up by shaking the cash box. But it doesn't make much noise just now. — That Parliament House is to be enlarged. This has been rendered necessary from the fact that Alfred Kidd did not have sufficient room to air his eloquence in. — That Minister Hall-Jones "is safe to get decoration in the next list of Royal favours, and has well earned it by solid grafting for the colony. — That the " benches in the Park " held a big crowd of farmers and their friends last week — not the Albert, but the pub — and the beer saloon fairly hummed of wet coats and cow grass. — That the special pleading of the would-be professional footballers and their supporters as Lo their reasons for refusing to sign the amateur declaration, is about the thinnest thing to date. — That "Whiskers" Grainger, of the Agricultural Show team, fitted well into the curio court of the Winter Show. With his Breeches Bible and ancient blunderbusses he was quite an attraction. — That Jerry Lundon is now convalescent. But the excitement of that Parnell Borough election contest has considerably reduced his weight. Still, he reckons he's heavy enough for William Johns. — That Father Patterson will be asked by the Harbour Board to give them the use of his new giant gramaphone to reproduce fog-signals. At its full power it would carry half-way across Rangitoto Channel. — That according to a northern paper, an accident was caused the other day through a man falling upon the open blade of an axe. And do one seems to have blamed the person who left that blade open. —That little Willie Stewart, the Gas Company's " big flame," is passing in his roving checks, and intends shortly to bind himself with matrimonial chains. Getting too much like the fat, jolly bachelor, eh ? — That the proposed re-union of past and present Parliamentary reps., at the Pacific Club smacks greatly of W. J. Speight. It will have to be an all-nighb-and-next-day sitting if W. J. and a couple of the other old hands get on the " I remember." -^•Tbat a Melbourne gentleman tried to beat the world's record, of 48 hours i for continuous piano playing, and was : removed "in a low condition" after completing 46| hours. It is understood that the neighbours had something to do with that ' Mow conditipn.''

—That. DSyOnport is 1 toeimpsfc mp,ra|}suburb" of Auckland. No' j wonder^,; wheia.Devdnpbrtians.have both A-. 1 vJ; • Black and Thomas'". '^Bro. ssejr* .'liying :. among them.. N'o.'evjl can "in crude;?' - r ■'.'. -r^That Dr Stopford will need to: v drop lecturing his colleagues, and adopt tbe suaviter in fnodo .policy, before he will be able to make much - headway in the City Council. / —That Alec Alison came back from Sydney without George Wynyard, after all. Alec went over to try and get George to take up tbe position of general ballaster for the D.S.F. Co. —That the broad smile which illumines the features of Secretary Edwin Hall is worth going mileß to. see. The whole Winter Show is nothing to it. It's justified under the circumstances. — That Willie Somers will be as proud as Lucifer if his agitation for further coastal lighting bears fruit. And quite right, too, for he will be a light-bringer in a very practical sense. — That Remuera felt cut to ,the quick when its own real live baronet was dubbed in the Herald " Mr JR. S. Lockhart." And his title meant to boom its National League branch, too. — That a hideous rumour has been flying round to the effect that John Payne is a member of the Working Men's Club. John Payne must be quite annoyed — so must the working men. — That Scobie Mackenzie's Caledonian blood has been, roused by the Graf tonian defeats, and he is reaching for his football waiypaint. Then it will be a case of "Kemjjmber Bannockburn !" ■ ' ; ; : — That W. J. $a]iier's great work on ferro-concrete ipi said to be something on the linejjjof: a "problem" play. You don't know exactly where you are till you get to the end of it. It's quite exciting. —That the commander of the Condor has not found the gangways Of his vessel blocked while in port by any excessive rush of German colonists anxious to fulfil their term of military service to -the Kaiser. — That it would be hard to find the report of any function in which the . name of Dr Stopford does not appear. What does this fierce rush into publicity portend ? Perhaps the next general election will tell. — That John Fuller's chest has expanded fully six inches since Empire Day. This was caused by Major MOr* row coupling John's name with the King's, and calling for three cheers for both at the Opera House matinee. — That Empire Day was rather wet in Wellington. Judging from the number of " drunks" who appeared in our own Police Court on the dayfollowing, it wasn't exactly dry here. But there was no "rather" about ijb. — That the Workmen's Homes, tenants want to know what the dickens the Government means by putting that motor car service on the common Avondale line. Another injustice to the down-trodden working man. — That Inspector D. dimming has come to Auckland to see about providing outside accommodation for the money order clerks. Why not give them the skeleton of the railway en* gineer's shanty to revel in ? It's airy enough. — That John Payne is not very well this week, thank you. Nervous prostration. George George brought it on, by referring to common tradesmen like plumbers when returning thanks for that presentation. G. G. ought to consider John's sensitive feelinga. — That Arthur Rosser is wearing a worried look. Ben Tillett might have tbe impudence to come over here' and set up in opposition as an agitator, : and Arthur would be nowhere against . Ben's Adonisian. flocks. Even the tailoresses would! forsake their Arthur. — That Magistrate Kettle says he intends, in. future, to 'administer a whipping to thieving "boya^ tint are? not S.M.s already , sufficiently overworked, without haying the spanking of 'rtifra!Bt6^^J>oya.f a^^ duties ? They ought to relegate the job to J^eeij, 4 ; ;: '; ; ' : :.: : v'v v '"v-- ;