OUR GRAPHOLOGY COLUMN.

Observer, Volume XXVII, Issue 36, 25 May 1907, Page 18

OUR GRAPHOLOGY COLUMN.

A NEW PIECE OF IDIOCY

[By our Gkaphological Grampus.]

[Note. — In deference to the unspoken wishes of several of our leading citizens, we have consented, for one week only, to give a reading of their various handwritings. We have engaged a special graphologist to do the job, and, as he is thoroughly unreliable, the delineations may be taken as correct in all the features, with the exception of most.]

AM. M — rs. — You have marked • Prohibition tendencies, which you should smother before you come out of your silver cradle. You appear to have a disposition to go upon the stage, and have a weakness for Irish drama. The careful way in which you cross your t's denotes that you have a good deal of worry with tramway matters. You seem to have a weakness towards the letters M. H. and R., as evidenced by your frequent use of them. This weakness is contagious, and you should strive to hide it. You are tall and dark, and have already attained to your majority. A. R-ss-r. — Your handwriting denotes an unselfish nature and a desire to do good by stealth. You have a whole - hearted contempt for money. You will never shine at your trade, because your mind is too sensitive to take any interest in such a gross thing as a trade. You have lately acquired a great interest in butter, but there is no evidence to prove that butter has taken any great interest in you. You are weak in repartee, and should suppress all tendencies in that direction. You have a great and abiding love for the working man, and your efforts in his cau.se are prompted by motives of pure philanthropy. Your natural generosity precludes the possibility that you will ever be rich — except in soft soap, of which you have acquired a considerable quantity. You have a tendency to shrink from publicity, and you should try to conquer this defect, as your opinions are warranted to cause both interest and amusement to those who are less gifted than yourself. Incessant worry over the troubles of the poor working man has lately had a tendency to make you waste away. You should try a more stimulating diet than unionism. J — n P-yne. — Your typewriting denotes that you are a member of the old aristocracy, and, as such, have a strong objection to mingling with tradesmen. You have a very generous heart, and your generosity is continually prompting you to organise presentations. Your high rank necessarily causes you to have much admiration for all institutions of the Georgian era. The fact that all presentations come out of your own pocket denotes that you are of an unselfish and disinterested nature. The emphatic manner in which you dot your i's denotes that you are somewhat excited You should strive to control your temper, as excitement is apt to have a wearing effect upon even the best of typewriters. Keep cool if you can. If you can't, you should use a gun instead of a typewriter. The latter is evidently quite inadequate to express your feelings. R. F. W-y. — You are of a credulous disposition, and have a habit of reading sensational literature. You are needlessly bashful, with a tendency lo shrink from publicity. Your veracity is unassailable, and you have a touchiug simplicity which has endeared you to all. You have lately suffered a great disappointment, as is evidenced from your frequent use of the capital D. The delicate nature of your writing and the modest wording of your letter denote that you are inclined to monomania. This should be crushed early, as it is apt to become chronic. We would recommend you to consult Dr Moplord, as a homoeopathic remedy would probably be best. The only homoeopathic rem-«lj for your malady which at present occuri

to me is a mud bath at Rotorua. But perhaps you have sufficient mud in stock to render a vißit to Rotorua unnecessary. Your constant use of the capital H would seem to imply that you are of a warm disposition, and have a special affection for persons whose names commence with that letter. This affection is not likely to be reciprocated. P. M. H-ns-n.— Your writing denotes that you have had very little practice in correspondence. This appears to be a very great defect in what is otherwise a most fascinating character. For practice in the art of letterwriting you could not do better than take a course of tuition from the Town Clerk, who, I feel sure, would be only too happy to hear from you. You have already a pleasing and graceful style, but are inclined to be shy and bashful in the presence of ladies. You are fond of dumb animals of the monkey tribe — especially of the pleasing little way- appertaining to this species of creation. There is a considerable amount of electricity in your nature, and you are evidently quite capable of administering severe shocks. This is apt to cause agitation to agitators, and you should be careful, as gentlemen of that class have, as a general rule, very sensitive dispositions. Ch-rl-s Ba-l-y. — "You have a decided tendency to tell fishy stories. You ought to suppress this, as it is apt to cause needless pain to your hearers. You are evidently a non-smoker, and from this it is to be inferred that you are short, dark and inclined to be corpulent. You have a hatred for yachting which reflects great credit on your moral nature. Your favourite pastime is harpooning sardines and fishing for buckets. This shows that you have a reckless disregard for danger. Try to reform in this respect. You should remember that other people want to fish for buckets quite as much as you do. Your conduct is apt to greatly pain and shock Father Patterson. F. J. Wh-tt-k-r.— You are of a savage disposition, and the square formation of your letters would seem to denote that you are a foreman mason. You have an inordinate craving for peanuts, and other nuts, which appear to lie heavy on your chest, as you are continually giving them away to other people. Too much generosity in this respect is an awful thing. The meekness discernible in your writing clearly proves that you have had a long experience of matrimony. You are a Welshman by birth, and are of a taciturn nature. From the innate refinement of your writing it may be inferred that you have an antipathy for sharebrokers and other coarse creatures. You should encourage this feeling. C. H. P--le, M.H.R. — You are dark ; at the same time, it must not be supposed that you are not also fair. You are tall ; at the same time you are fairly short. You are young ; but there is every reason to believe that you are an octogenarian. In fact, it is impossible to say who or what you are. From your writing it might be interred that you are of a shy and retiring disposition. From the emphatic way in which you make your capital M's, it may be taken for granted that you have a strong liking for a man called McLachlan. This proves the excellence of your taste. Fr-d-r-ck M — r-. — You are apparently excited about something. Write again when you are in a more normal condition. It is impossible to deduce your character from your preaenc writing. There is too much sulphur in it.

W. J. N-p — r. — It is a pleasure to read your writing. You are a man of abnormal talent. You would make a first-class commander-in- chief of the British Army — Takapuna branch. You would make a splendid admiral of the British Navy, and are quite competent to take charge of any ship of the Dreadnought type — from dredger 121 to the fire-float. As an architect, you would shine at designing costly buildings fit for an admiral to live in. As an author, you have already written more than one touching romance. You have lately written a problem novel dealing with f< rro concrete, which makes quite as exciting reading as the average English dictionary. As an interviewer, you would also be a pronounced success. Your other characteristics are held over for want of space, but arrangemeuts are being made to import a sufficient quantity of paper to do justice to the subject. M. R. K — s-ng. — The wording of your letter denotes that you have a fancy for words of one syllable. You should smother this. You appear to cherish a positive hatred for people who write to the papers. This does you credit. You know several languages. This must be convenient when you are annoyed. W. C-I-m-n. — Your writing denotes that you have been endowed with heavy responsibilities. You are apparently the guardian of a large number of orphans. You have our sincere sympathy. From what we know of orphans generally, your task is not an easy one.