Her Cousin's Counterpart.

Observer, Volume XXIV, Issue 27, 19 March 1904, Page 19

Her Cousin's Counterpart.

DID it ever occur to you what strange things might happen to

you if you looked just like somebody else, and were liable to be taken by this other mortal's friends for their friend, and to receive treatment accordingly ?

A little awkward sometimes, though there are pleasant features about it, as an experience of mine last fall leads me to believe.

"Smith, my boy," said old Harland to me one day — fclarland was my em* ployer, and I was head clerk in his great importing house — " how would you like to go West, to Chicago, St. Paul, and Omaha, as our agent ? Important business relations in these localities will oblige some employee of the house to go, and Hendricks is down with the rheumatism, and I had as lief be shot as sleep in any bed but my own. What do you say ? I was delighted, and told the old fellow so at once. I had been in New York live years, without taking any other holiday than the law prescribes, Fourth of July, Christmas, etc., and the prospect of a journey made me as happy as the prospective first pair of trousers makes a f ouryear-cld uoy.

In a few days it was all settled. I parked my satchel, received my instructions, and said good-bye to my landlady, who, as I always paid my bills promptly, shed a tear or two on the corner of her apron in honour of my exodus. Everything went on swimmingly. The day was lovely, the car a new one, nobody in it was scented with musk, the conductor was a model, and there was a pretty young lady a seat or two ahead of me, with a ravishing hat and feather, neatly arranged hair, and eyes as bright as diamonds. And she had such a coquettish way of cutting the pages of her book, and presenting her railroad ticket to the conductor, and asking him in a sweetly imploring voice '' if we were almost there," that she quite took my fancy, and I resolved that if one of those inevitable smashes took place such as we areregaled with in first-class novels, I would throw all personal considerations aside and " go for her."

We had nearly reached Rochester when two strangers entered the car. They acted like men who were hunting for something. They took seats just before me, and turned around back to back, and read their newspapers, and looked at me over the tops of rhem. Now, men generally do not look over the tops of their newspapers at anybody but handsome women, and their persistency made me nervous. . I changed my seat, but did not get out of range. I went to the smoking-car, and my shadows suddenly developed a taste for smoking. I returned to the car I had left, and they followed me, and as I was about to take my seat one of them laid his hand on my shoulder.

" Mr Smith," said he, "you are my prisoner." I exhibited a specimen of the " clear grit" which President Roosevelt speaks of, and knocked him down. Then the other one, and half-a-dozen of the passengers,, pounced upon me, and. I was handcuffed and done for generally. Then everybody flocked around me to remark on what a desperate-looking criminal I was.

" Might have known by his face that he was a rascal !" said a short gentleman, with a bald head. " Got a regular hangdog expression ! Was it murder, sir ?" to the constable.

" No, it was embezzlement," said that gentleman. " Got his employer's money, eh ?" " Exactly ! One of the most daring cases we've had on our hands for a long time. But we've worked it up successfully, aud now we've got him."

" Shocking !" said an elderly woman in a pink bonnet. " Thank Heaven I never was tied to a man. They're always turning out bad."

" A sad thing," said a sleek-looking individual.

" Will it be State prison ?" asked a solemn-faced old lady, with a bundle of papers under her arm-. " Because if it is, young man, I will give you a tract to read, and profit by. And she handed me a leaf of paper with the somewhat startling title, " The Road to Hell !"

. I remarked that I had no wish to learn anything in regard to that route, and that brought up a clerical gentleman in a white choker, who inquired : "Young friend, hast thou a mother?"

"I. hast I" said I; "likewise a grandmother, two aunts, sixteen cousins, and a father-in-law !"

" Beware," said he, "of sitting in the seat of the scornful !"

He was just going to read me his laao sermon on total depravity, when we arrived at Rochester, and I was taken to the lockup. I did not like my quarters. It was impossible for any decent white man to like them. Di.ty and ill-smelling, and I would have been glad to change the bed for any clean pine plank. It seemed that I was charged with appropriating the funds of one Mr Junius B. Streeter, of Syracuse, who was represented as my confiding employer, but I had never heard of him before, and certainly had not the pleasure of being possessed of any of his funds.

I tried to impress this fact upon my captors, bat they only laughed, and assured me that Mr Pelham and Mr Ball, the detectives who had seized me, had a very accurate description of the rascally clerk, from Mr Streeter himself, and my appearance tallied with it perfectly.

I was to have my examination next morning, and then, if 1 could prove that I was anybody but John Smith, I was at liberty to do so.

Just as 1 had finished my breakfast next morning, the keeper came in to say that a young lady desired to see me. A. young lady ! I was horrified, for I had neither combs, brushes, nor clean collars. I smoothed down my refractory locks with my fingers, flirted the dirty towel across my face, rubbed my boots with my handkerchief, and my toilet being thus completed, was ready to receive my visitor. Shades of Hebe and Venus ! The morning star itself was nc comparison to her! Blue dress, blue ribbons, blue eyes, blonde tresses, and a voicesweeter than a fifty-dollar music box !

She rushed towards me, flang her arms around my neck, put her soft cheek against mine, hunted under my moustache for my lips, and planted there such a regiment of kisses as to take my breath away. I was quite willing to have her take it away, and did not care a picayune if she kept up this sort of thing till Christmas. " Dearest Cousin John !" cried she ; "it is such a shame for you to be here ! But it is just like those blunderiug officers ! They fancy themselves wonderful in the detective business !" They'd arrest their own grandmother if they had one, darling." "Yes," said I, seeing that she paused tor breath, " I have bo doubt of it !"

"I read about your arrest in the paper last night. It gave your name aB Mr J. Smith, but J. stands for John and I knew it was you ! I told papa so, but he said ' Pshaw !' But I always have my way, and so I came down to see you, without even stopping to dress. Dear me ! I expect I am just horrid in this old wrapper !" " Horrid !" said I. " Why, I thought your dress was divine !"

She laughed, and kissed me again. 1 hoped she would keep on doing so. It seemed to me the nicest thing she could do.

"Papa is coming down in an hour or two to bail you out* for, of course, you are. innocent, and old Streeter is mistaken about your taking his dirty money 1 " Of course he is," said I. " And you'll come up with papa to dinner, dear John ?" " Yes, darling-," " Then, good-by," said she j " I must go home and order your favourite roast duck, with oyster sauce !" and she kissed me again, and vanished. Of course, I knew that I was playing the part of a contemptible hypocrite, but I could not resist the temptation of keeping still and letting destiny work for me, especially when such a lovely girl represented destiny. Papa came down, as she had told me he would, and how he managed it" I do not know, but the thing was settled hi Che course of a couple of hours, and he had shaken hands with me, and I was riding with him in a handsome carriage, drawn by a pair of high-step-ping bays, going to dinner. Alice — that was what her father called her — received us cordially. She was "dressed" now, and I suppose all these flounces and putts would not admit of her kissing me, since she did not do it. My heart sank. I wished myself back in prisou, if pretty Alice were so much more affectionate in prison than out of it. But Alice had me hit near her at the table, and she sweetened my coffee and dished out my roast duck, with oyster sauce. And 1 adored her, and was very near telling her so. We had just got to pudding when a servant opened the door, and, ushering in -a gentleman, announced : "Mr John Smith !" I turned and confronted the visitor. It was like looking iv aglas*. He was my exact counterpart in every particular. Our own mothers could not have told us apart. Consternation was on his face — I reckon it was also on mine. Alice was white with horror. Papastood rubbing his glasses and trying to convince himself that the trouble was in his eyes. " Jupiter !" said the newcomer ; " who are you ?" " John Smith, sir," said I. "Who are you?" "John Smith, sir," said he; and then he saw how ludicrous it all was, and burst out laughing. " What have I done ?" cried Alice. " Oh, what have I done ?" "Don't cry, cousin," said John Smith, the nephew ; " I'll have an explanation at once." Then he turned fiercely to me ana demanded one. I told him I should be very happy to accommodate him, and I did so. Papa Gordon — that was his nan c—e — laughed heartily. But Alice crept out of the room, and 1 was sure her eyes were running over with tears, and I felt like a malefactor — yes, indeed ! like a pair of them. But John Smith, the nephew, gave us very good news after all. Mr Streeter, who was the said John's employer, had been mistaken iv his suspicions regarding his clerk, and it had been clearly established that Streeter's own son was the guilty one 1 } So, altogether, we had a nice time congratulating ourselves — John and 1 — and Mr Gordon rubbed his glasses, and seemed highly delighted over the episode. It was a long time before Alice came back to the room where we were sitting, and then I managed to draw her aside for a moment to ask her pardon for not having undeceived her at once. "lieally," said J, "it was all co delightful that I could not speak the words which would drive you away from me."

And what more I said would not interest anybody. I went about my business the next day, but on my return I called at the Gordon mansion, and two months ago I prevailed on Alice Gordon to accept the name of Smith ; and I owe the sweetest wife in the world to the fact of having a counterpart.