THE FRETFUL PORCUPINE

Observer, Volume XXIII, Issue 5, 18 October 1902, Page 16

THE FRETFUL PORCUPINE

THE best laid schemes of mice and men gang aft agley. It is an old

saying, and a very true one, and has within the last few days been further exemplified in a manner that has astonished a well-known man about town, and given his friends something spicy to talk about. This man about town is neither young nor giddy, but has a quick eye for a pretty face, and is somewhat proud of his conquests with the fair sex. Needless to say, he is a bachelor, and has no female belongings to worry about his susceptible disposition or his conquests.

But in an evil moment his fancy was charmed by a piquant face and a merry eye belonging to somebody else's wife. The lady was not slow to show her appreciation of the overtures made to her, and, as fickle ladies often do, she made no scruple of flattering her new lover and contrasting him, to his own gratification, with her lawful spouse. It was the old story. She was not happily married. She had given her hand where she could not (with a deep, romantic sigh) give her heart. In a word, she was the incomparable woman in the problem novel who had thrown herself away upon an unappreciative husband.

The plot of the romance thickened, as such plots have a habit of doing, and there were stolen meetings and soft endearments, and the lady was hopelessly in love. So, at least, she vowed. Then the husband found that business called him away from town. Here was the opportunity for which the turtle doves had been sighing. They arranged for themselves a gay time for the evening after his departure, the Adonis furnishing the hamper for the feast, not forgetting a liberal Bupply of champagne. They had the gay time all right —or at least the Adonis had. Ere the supper had been disposed of, the husband broke into the room like a thousand furies, and the scene that followed was lively beyond description. Now for the moral of the story. There will be no divorce proceedings, the well-known man about town has paid £150 to heal the domestic breach, and everybody iB satisfied. But the man about town and his friends are thinking a lot.

-When business men fall out over a transaction, and cannot agree, they usually carry the matter to the law courts and get it settled there. But the sharebrokars, wiser in their generation, don't expose the inner working of their business concerns to the inquisitive gaze of the public. If they did; the aforesaid public might learn too much. Therefore, by common agreement, disputed transactions are referred to the arbitration of the Brokers' Association. This was why the Auckland sharebrokers were sitting in solemn conclave for hours the other afternoon, two of the best-known of their number having disagreed over a parcel of Waitekauri shares bought some time ago fcr a client.

In tfrtj first instance, the matter came before the committee, which went •o far as to suspend one of the brokers and also to hold him liable for the purchase money, though he maintained that he had no part in the transaction beyond introducing the client to the other broker. The Association would not endorse the finding of the committee without hearing the whole of the evidence, and having heard it, contented itself with declining to confirm the suspension but agreeing with that part of the decision concerning the liability. Thus the matter stands. But it is a thousand pities that the evidence cannot be published. It throws an interesting side-light on the methods of sharebrokers.

They must have been making things hum at some of the welcomes given to returned contingenters in the country districts. At one of these the guest was a politician as well as an officer, and a cheerful but somewhat incoherent person thus addressed the assemblage : — " We rejoice," said he, "to see the old warhorse back again in the saddle, ready once more to guide the ship of State."

Devonport people are laughing in their sleeves at a smart piece of business in connection with the venerable shed in the neighbourhood of the local wharf which was pulled down this week. Some time ago, the owner of the shed was notified to remove it, but, for convenience sake, he got an extension of time for five or six weeks. Then a bright idea occurred to the tenant. The extension of time had expired, the shed was not removed, so he improved the occasion by dropping in at the Harbour Board office, pointing out that the Board had now power to sell, and eventually buying the structure for £5. As a result of this transaction, there are no smiles exchanged now between a wellknown old identity and a certain pushing storekeeper.