"VIRTUE ONLY MAKES OUR BLISS BELOW.'

Observer, Volume XXI, Issue 1182, 24 August 1901, Page 9

"VIRTUE ONLY MAKES OUR BLISS BELOW.'

Mr tthand, recently of the Herald literary start" and now editor of the Thames Advertiser, seems to be making himself very popular at quartzopolis. He took part, in the capacity of " bones" and corner man, in a capital Christy minstrel concert given on Friday night in aid of the Hospital fund, and reeled off a repertoire of jokes that would have exhausted the stock of a veteran professional. " Kock" Woodward also took part in the show, filling the position of interlocutor most admirably. Two of the best things of the evening were the singing of Mrs Payne, and a solo, by a tenor with a most promising voice that only requires cultivation to make it exceptionally good.

The " chain " letter to which we referred jsome months ago— circulated, presumably, in aid of a children's hospital in Shalinger, N.S.W. , and which asked that each person receiving a letter should write three copies and send tofriends, all to be returned with ten used stamps — is still on the road. A copy has been sent to a Christchurch man, who, in calculating the number up to the twentieth round of persons sending letters, finds it to- be 1,162,261,467, and the cost of the letters sent in, say, at Id each, was £27,000,000, a sum sufficient to build hospitals for all Australia. It has come to pass that the New South Wales Government have refused to deliver any more letters to Miss Griffen, the originator of the chain.

The Hon. Henry Scotland, whatever his other faults are, (;annot be accused of inconsistency. When the Boer war started, and botli Houses. passed resolutions to send away troops, and sang " Rule Britannia," and " God Save the Queen," and speechified on the capacity of Bull and Co. to wallop the universe, Scotland stood up and denounced the whole thing as humbug and jingoism, and brought the two Houses and press and country down on him in consecjuence. He is'still of that mind. Speaking last week on the returned troopers, he asked the Legislative Council : "Wi}l they fettle down to steady work ?" and he then went on to aay, " I fear that a great many — I am sorry to say — are spoilt for life. They want to be officers and gentlemen, and Jive at the public expense, and if there are no Government billets, what is to beeoiiie of them ?" This time, no one is down upon him ; in fact, Parliament, press, and country are worrying out the same problem.

A restaurant-keeper who left Auckland suddenly for Sydney a few weeks ago was hawking jewellery for sale recently in the company of a charming damsel who was formerly a waitress in Auckland. Trade was none too good with them, either. Also, a young man who made miscalculations in the drug business here was seen travelling Sydney selling goods on commission.

A rather good story of absentmindedness is wafted from a town not a thousand miles from Auckland. An official (Government, of course) on his way to duty called at a local repairer of machines and left his bicycle, walking on to the office. At knock-off time, going to the place where his wheel usually stood, and finding it not there, he hied to the local police station and reported the article as stolen. After considerable inquiry, the "bobby" went to the repairing shop, and finding the missing article, inquired " How did you come possessed of this?" The reply was at once given : "Oh, Mr- — , of the — -office, left it here for repairs." Of such are Government officials.

Dr Kenny, the medical officer of the liotorua Sanitorium, appears to be exceedingly high in favour with the Government. lie has just received another addition of £100 to his salary, which is now £600 per annum, with free house and other privileges. Seems somehow as if Kenny is an almighty good doctor — his price has gone up so rapidly — and yet the Hamilton people were slow in finding it out. Already, he has got a more lucrative billet than the Medical Superintendent of the Avondale Asylum.

Mr Haseldeu, the Wellington S.M., had before him the other day an application which showed once more that the "law is a hass." The applicant was the father of a family, and he sought advice about getting one of his boys into a school. He had tried two of the schools, and in both of them admission was denied on the ground of over-crowding, and if he. did not send his child to school lie was liable to be fined. What was he to do ? His Worship shook his head and said that the conundrum was one which often puzzled him. The applicant had better go to some one with more extended powers on the subject. " Can you send me to someone?" queried the petitioner. Mr Haselden replied in the negative. If he knew the way, he -would have travelled the road himself.

The Seddon Ministry are starting out to eniulate the Emperor William of Germany as preachers. Premier Seddon and Minister Hall-Jones each delivered sermons on Sunday last— the Premier giving a word in season to clergymen, and the Marine Minister, at the Seamen's Mission exhorting seamen and others to follow the golden rule — and never go to sea!

•••

District Judge Kettle gave proof at Hawera the other day that he knows a wrinkle or two in other things besides law. - ,-He had before him a case in which damages were sought for the death, through shooting, of a boy who $• was looking on at a contestant ajrifte gallery, the plaint being that the protection atiorded to spectators had not been sufficient. The man who fired' the gun — or, rather, the man who was loading it, for it went* off before he was ready

was under examination, and "His Honor did not seem satisfied that witness knew much, if anything, about a gun, so he observed, "(Jo through the action of loading, the same as you did on the occasion of the accident." Witness made several attempts, but he couldn't get it to gee.

Mis Honor: " The " gun is full cocked. I'ull the trigger, man.'' Witnes.sj'pulled the trigger until he got red in the face and the beads of perspiration stood out promiscuously, but again he failed to shift it. " (iive me the weapon," said His Honor, and' when it was handed to him counsel and police, and all the spectators, " ducked " en masse, but His Honor reassured them that he knew how to load up, and they recovered. He went through the business like an expert, and showed exactly how the tiling 'should be done. Witness tried to imitate His Honor's celerity, but after several attempts collapsed. " It's a wonder to me you didn't »hoot more .^aid His Honor^and once more he gave an example of the working of the gun.

••• ••• ••• Eventually, witness got the hang of it so far as to full cook the gun, hut could not proceed further in his illustration. His Honor: "You've got it at full cock again. I told you before, man, to pull the trigger. I T g)i ! (as witness grew angry with the gun). You'll smash it ! The man is totally unfit to use it! Witness: "1 don't know. I was the best shot there, liis Honor : " I" in ! A man may be a

good shot, bub not know how to load the gun. " Witness r" I haven't used the gun for three weeks. " His Honor • " And Ijiever handled it at all, till just now. , The evidence then proceeded, but they say the scene was one of the most amusing they have had in the Hawera Court for many a long day.

Faitli-healer Dowie, or "The Prophet Elijah "as he calls himself now, is still in Chicago, and evolving into a sort of archangel. Recently, he preached in a lovely pair of wings, and on the back of his coat he hail sewn silken wings 18 x 8 inches, while the Zionite colours — purple, orange? and white—completed the angelic costume. And they say he strutted and flapped those wings with all the pride, if not the dignity, of a peacock. } mM

••• ••• .*. There is rather a' melancholy roimuice in connection with L the late Trooper <>' Hawaii. The deceased soldier, who hailed from the South Canterbury district, died on board the troopship Britannic, when that vessel was off Albany, and lie was buried at sea. Before leaving New Zealand, the late trooper was a knight of the pigskin, and was best known amongst the sporting fraternity by the nick-name ot " Smoke O'Hagan." A familiar figure on the turf, he was regarded as ai keen sportsman, and rode many a good horse to victory. But it was the dare-devil spirit which was such' a feature of O'Hagan's character, tliat got him into trouble, and- settled his racing career in this colony.

About four years ago, at the Mnnawatu Club's Christmas meeting, O'Hagan was brought before the .stewards and disqualified for life for alleged foul riding at that meeting. The late jockey-trooper was next heard of in Johannesburg. At the outbreak of hostilities in South Africa he enlisted in the Imperial Light Horse, and fought throughout the Transvaal campaign. Thinking, no doubt, that the fact of lighting for the cause of his country would influence the Club to re-consider their' decision, O'Hngan wrote asking for the removal of the disqualification? Rnt the stewards were obstinate, and would not give way. After a while, the mother of the young fellow wrote to the club on behalf ol her son. and this time the disqualification was removed. However, he did not live to avail himself of the club's clemency. mvlOOvi