FRETFUL PORCUPINE

Observer, Volume XXI, Issue 1163, 13 April 1901, Page 8

FRETFUL PORCUPINE

There seems to be a great deal more than meets the eye in the oase in which Arthur Allen is charged with breaking the windows of John Henry Hannan. This is said to be the seoond time that Allen has done thia, and on the last occasion he was sentenced to a term of imprisonment. Now, people don't usually do these desperate deeds, and repeat them, unless they are labouring under a strong sense of injury. What is Allen's grievance ? Surely it is a pity it was not brought out when the caße was heard the other day. In any oase, it looks as if there was ample ground for careful enquiry in the matter.

Another peouliarity about the oase is the eaße with whioh Hannan seems to have been able to bring a sensational

charge against Allen of attempted murder on what, at the worst, was only threatening behaviour. Why was this serious charge so lightly brought, and no attempt made to substantiate it ? Was there no vindictive feeling in the matter ? All this requires investigation. Mr Reed, in the Court, alleged that Mr Hannan, in his capacity of visiting justice at the gaol, had twitted accused before others concerning his position ? Can this be true ? And, if it is true, should Hanjaan oooupy suoh a position as visiting justice? Theee are points which should be carefully considered by the authorities in the publio interests.

Belated scribes are telling, as new, yarns about parcels which never reach the addressee 'at the front.' It is perfectly safe to assume that of the hundreds of tons of presents and ' comforts ' sent to the fighting swaddy at the front, half stays behind, and is consumed by their comrades of the lines of communication who have never seen the enemy. It is a glorious thing to be a ' good oonduot man,' with about seven years' service, in

charge of a train load of comforts for the sick, or presents or the boys. In the railway trains, under the cover of the tarpaulin, four or six good oonduot men oongregate, and attack tinned chicken, port wine, champagne, potted oysters, birthday oake, ' try on ' woollen comforts, read loving notes from aunts, or mothers, or sisters, and have a good time all round. The addressees have no chance of discovering the fate of their goods, and, anyhow, they may be killed and the looters take their ohanoe. When the thin veneer of honour and glory and magnanimity is knocked off soldiering, the frailties of Nature mere civilians eDJoy are found to be there quite abundantly.

Adelaide baa a polioeman who baa the reputation of possessing the largest feet in the ' foorce,' and is oalled by his fellows ' Boiled Overcoat Feet.' On a recent oocasion, he paraded a man before the local justices for ' having no visible meane of Bupport. 1 The presiding J.P., who has a sense of humour, remarked that ' Boiled Overcoat's ' Bupportß were very visible, and that he might do what he could with his surplus and help the poor fellow. The magistrate's wit gave the ' dead beat ' a start in life, for it is on reoord that a subscription waß instituted by • Boiled Overcoats,' by whioh the vagrant purchased the hot-pie and saveloy institution whioh he now ' runß ' per handcart.

There seems to havo been a substantial motive on Mr Alfred Kidd'spait in closing the Harbour Board Committee meetings to the press as soon as be assumed the chairmanship. By all accounts, the committees are just now occupied with matters that wouldn't look well in the publio press. Od6 of them relates to the alleged breaking open of a shed by a certain official, aB the outcome of which it is asserted that a certain letter from the Engineer has not been allowed to see the light of day. Too much publicity concerning the doings of some of our publio bodies is not expedient.

A ladies' aooiety for the uplifting of the masses and the amelioration of the workers held an annual meeting in a suburb of London recently, and amongst the business done, a report was read aa to the progress of the society's work during the year. In regard to ' amelioration and uplifting,' a lady read:—' During the past year much attention bas been paid to barmaids.' The audienoe puokered its brow, and then a smile like a streak of sunshine on a wet pavement stole across the assemblage. * And it has led to

many of them being visited in their homes.' It \b related that the audience successively squirmed, wriggled, and ultimately shrieked, so that the presiding Bishop, bis apron shaking with emotion, asked that the report should be considered as read. It was bo considered, and not another gleam of sunshine illumined the Stygian solemnity of the proceedings.

Under prudent and capable management, the D.S.C. is growing into a great and prosperous concern. A profit of £7672 is something to be proud of in these days of big assignments and insolvencies. The company has declared a dividend for the half-year at the rate of eight per cent, per annum on the paid-up capital (a half-yearly dividend and bonuß having been paid in October last), togbther with a bonus of five per oent. on shareholders' payments for the half-year. Also a bonus of five per cent, on the year's wages will be paid to warehouse employees who have been twelve month? in the service of the company, and are not already in the receipt of a commission. The earn of £3,680 has been carried to undivided profits aooount, which now stands at £5,602 12s 6d. The D.S.C. is fortunate in having an able chairman of directors in Mr John Brown, a first-olaes manager in Mr A. R. Morrison, and a most excellent and well -trained staff of employees.

The newspapers are filled with the grievances of mistresses egainßt their serTantfl. Here is a story on the other side. For seven yearß, a girl had served one family within the aristocratio precinots of Albert Park, faithfully and well at low wageß. The other day, the household was engaged stripping the pear trees, with the result that four tubs were filled with fruit. The girl, evidently reckoning that she was entitled to a out in, put three of the pears in her chest of drawers till they ripened. Next day, Bhe was given a holiday, and on her return found that the drawer had been opened and the pearß removed. There was a lively domestic row as a consequence, and the girl, who tells this story herself, left in the morning without waiting to make breakfast. In these days of the scarcity of domestic help, it doesn't look good business to quarrel with a girl who has been with you for seven years for the sake of three pears. Of course, this is the story as told by the girl.

The Constabulary is not the only branoh of the public service which supplies overzealoue individuals. The customs offioiah Bometimeß get superheated into quite abnormal zeal, and an unoffending oitizen was made to feel this recently. A gentleman who we have discovered to be a steward on board the s.a. Wellington (although previously we had ranked him as Commodore) has to poßt his ship's books up and hand them in to the office for audit periodically. About the date of the audit, the Commodore had a lodge-meeting on, and attended to lend an air of respectability and a breath of salt to it. In the meantime the bookß lay unposted. Next day was Sunday, and the Commodore hurried down to get those preoioQß ledgers. He suooeeded, and raced away for town with the parcel under hie sleeve. Custom house offioer woke suddenly. He had seen the Commodore with the same paroel for some years, so he knew he had been stealing, or had dutiable goods, or was a sooundrel or something, bo be bailed him— Hi ! ' Hi ' stopped unwillingly. ' Whatoher got there ?' ' Ships' books. 1 ' Let's see 'em.' And so, with the usual orowd of wharf- loafers round, convinced he was a marauding villain with infernal machines or Indian silks or illicit diamonds, he undid bis old familiar parcel and disclosed his dog's-eared tomes. Justioe satisfied, ' Customs ' retires to bis wool-bale and sleeps bis usual Bleep, known so well to smugglers, and the Commodore prooeeda without a Btain on his character, but a large back entry in the ledger of his mind for the zealous official.

' Progress baa turned freebooter, Christianity slumbers, and God is dead,' were the remarks that an American Senator of distinction made in regard to the atrocities of • Christian ' troops perpetrated in the name of reform in China. The almond-eyed Celestial has lived and had his being for a few thousand years, more or less, in his own peculiar way, he has thrown hia infant daughters into the SiEiang to overcome the neceeasity of a war of depopulation, and has worshipped his joss and eaten his stewed puppies and birds neats with impunity. Some-

times a benefioient Providence sends a fresh down the river, and sweeps off (as it did about twelve years ago) eight millions of people to prevent overcrowding. They were heathens, and enjoyed being so. Their few thousand years of comparative peaoe were foroibly broken up by the perambulating person who wanted to ' go into all the world' and his females of morbid tendencies who wanted to see something really wicked. And so the new era of civilisation Bet in.

A Chinaman who baa had Confuoian troths drammed into his head for a few aeons or so, wonders what the missionary is doing on his ground, turns him out, or outs his throat, and resume? possession. The Obinaman is right in bis oldfashioned way, but tne merciful powers don't think so. The Chinamen kill others they object to, get wound up a bit, and go in for good, old-fashioned Chinese slaughter. Then the armies of the world go forth, with the Boales of justice in one hand, and an up-to-date maxim in the other, and as they start in to disabuse the Celestial of bis Confuoian theories, and introduoe Western ideas, and gather Eastern curios, and treat the heathen women and ohildren after the style of the Turk with the Armenian. The Confuoian missionary who planted bis home on your vaoant allotment, and had as his sole right and title the fact that he was a clergyman of the ' Sky Blue Order of Pink Dragons,' would get emptied out rapidly, but be must not empty out any of the ' Sympathetic Society of Sisters,' or the ' Missionary Monopolists ' when be returns to China, or ten or twelve nations will turn their pom-poms on him and take his country from him, and make a nice, olean Christian of him with pants and a boiled shirt.

Mr A. J. Parker notifies in our advertisement columns that he ia again a candidate for the Grey Lynn ward. He has proved himself a useful member, and has the qualifications that .should ensure his eleotion for a further term.

The Royal Reception Committee's secretary, Mr R R. Hunt, is asking for designs for the proposed arches. The handsome Bum of £15 153 is offered for the two best designs, and the offer will possibly bring in a large quantity of deslgna.