TIT. BITS and TWADDLE

Observer, Volume XVIII, Issue 1094, 16 December 1899, Page 14

TIT. BITS and TWADDLE

Parnell father (proudly referring to his first born). ' They say he looks very much like me Do you notice the resemblance ?' Optimistic friend : — 'Yes, he does, very much, but then he may grow out of it ' Man's a fool ! When it's hot he wants it cool, When it's cool he wants it hot, Never contented with his lot ; Man's a fool I Electioneering excitement on the staff of a country paper seems to have enabled the festive comp. to bring off the following ' mixed ' event in a recent issue : — ' Single ladies' race — Miss Basaelmann, 1; Mr McDougal, 2 ; Mrs Lucas, 3.' The field of competitors reminds one of a ' maiden ' race being won by a brood mare, with an 'aged' stallion second, and two-year-old filly tbird.

Ohinemuri patient to local medico, after ascertaining result of poll : — ' Doctor, do you really think that drinking tends to shorten a man's days ?' Medico, who had voted for continuance of licenses : — ' lam certain it does. I tried to stop drinking once, and the days seemed about eighty hoars long.'

' Oh, Clara !' said her dearest friend, 1 What do you think that Eillie Remarked to me the other night, Abont you, the old silly ? ' He said he thought you were a bird, Jnst like yonr charming mother ; 'Twas to a parrot he referred ' And now they snub each other.

■ The following conversation between a local parson and the bride at a recent wedding ceremony is suggestive : — ' Do you take this man for better or worse V said the clergyman. « I can't tell until I've had him for a while,' was the reply. Oar tame poet gives his view of the matter as follows :

She' was naturally handicapped in giving her reply, For she couldn't really tell how he'd pan oat. And it's eaßy for ns all to understand the

reason why,

That;her answer was indicative of doubt. For the modern girl who marries knows a

little bit too much

To become enthusiastic o'er a man, BoJ.ehe takes him, always hoping to improve him with her touch, And to mak9 him a good hnsband if she can.