"Pars" ABOUT PEOPLE

Observer, Volume XVIII, Issue 1094, 16 December 1899, Page 6

"Pars" ABOUT PEOPLE

Mb John Joyce, the late member for Ly tteltOD , who died so suddenly week before last, started life as a police constable, and raised himself to the position of barrister and solicitor in Chrißtchurch. Bat his erect carriage and slow, deliberate walk in the street — lie never hurried — always suggeeted the policeman on beat. In the House he always occupied one of the corner seats jast nnder the ladies' gallery, with a flower in his button-hole and the bench in front of him bearing a fragrant bonquet. While debates were proceeding, he seemed to be perpetually occapied in writing and despatching notes, and the short;, Bharp, cart tones of his voice as he occasionally called oat ' Messenger ' was a frequent reminder to habitaes of the House that Joyce was there.

When, during prolonged sittings in Committee, the Chairman (Mr Guinness) needed relief , Joyce was invariably called on by the Government, but members did not like his rather brusque and magisterial manner, and many a hot discussion hua been provoked to prevent the placing of him in the chair. In recent years, however, he was bo often there that he came to be regarded as Guinness's nnderstndy.

Joyce's greatest effort; in the talking line was a nine-honra' stonewalling speech which be made abont ten years ago, and of which he was vastly proud. That effort mast have exhausted him, for be afterwards became one of the silent members. His. pet subject was inter-colonial reciprocity, and whenever he did speak ii was on reciprocity that he let himself go. He very ably filled the office of chairman of the A to JL Public Petitions Committee, and throughout his long Parliamentary career— representing Lyttelion for 'about 15 years — he has been a faithful Party man, always identified with the Liberal cause. He learnt the lesson of duty in the Force, and it stuck to him through life. Joyce was remarkable in Wellington for the number of lady friends he had who desired free trips in the Government steamers around the colony. Moreover, he always got the passes his friends wanted. A.eoq of Mr Joyce's was a member of the Permanent Artillery at Auckland some time ago, and either went or volnnteered to go to the Transvaal along with the Contingent.

Mr H. P. Hornibrooke, who left Coromandel last year to take a Government billet in prospecting for gold in the Italian colony of Erythrea in North-ea3t Africa, is already fall ap of the place. He has thrown up the job, and hopes to be back at Coromandel in time to eat his Christmas dinner there. Dißtant fields are not always as green as they look.

A JJanedin man, in reviewing Scobie Mackenzie's Bixteen years' political career, flings a boomerang at him which recoils upon the Government after this knock down' fashion : — ' Considering the opportunities a sixteen years' career aa_ a politician has placed in his way, it mast be admitted that he is a ghastly failure. He has not succeeded in getting any members of his family into the telephone bureau, neither has he a son in the .Railway Department. There is do Bushy I Park in the family. He holds no remunerative position in a thumping syndicate with a high-sounding name Truly, the man is a fool.'

Mr Lnndon, the beaten Government candidate for the Bay of Plenty, bnmped up againßt a solid fact, when in defending the Btrong band Dick Seddon was playing in. his candidature, he said no one would blame the Premier for helping ' a lame dog over a stile.' The Rotoraa paper cheerfully bears onfc Mr Lundon's description of himself. ' From a political poi.no of view,' it says, 'Mr Lundon Ib a very lame dog indeed— about the lamest we have met with in a rather extensive and varied experience. . . . He gave credit to the present Government for the increase during its administration in wool, butter, Bheep, gold and everything else, and also gravely claimed for it the reduction in the number of orphans. Had it suited his policy he would have claimed for ifc_onr long immunity from disastrous earthquakes, the sniallness of the death rate, and the mildness of last winter. Yes, Mr Lundon, politically speaking, is a very lame dog indeed.'

Mr Ohas. Featherston Mitchell, who died at Paeroa last. week, aged 82, had had a very cheqaered career. He was one of the Chartists in that memorable year 1840. He graduated in journalism from the staff of the Manchester Guardian, and in Vie toria's stirring early days he owned the Bendigb Courier. In Auckland he ran the New Zealander many years • ago, in conjunction with Mr W. H. Seffern (now of New Plymouth), .uncle of the Hon. Mr Jennings. At one time, also, he was Goldfields Secretary in the Provincial .Government of Anckland. In more recent years he started the HeuraTci Tribune, and ran it up till the time of his death. Very many old colonists will learn of his death with regret. By-the-way, Mr Stffern, who is still hale and hearty, will learn with snrprise that a Paeroa paper has just discovered that he died two years ago. If so, he did not present a very ghostly appearance at a journalists' social in Wellington last session, at which he was the most honoured guest.

J. M. Shcra, speaking at the Thames some nights before he found but Dick Seddon didn't want him, told the electors that ' many candidates are trying to float into Parliament on cold water, while others arp determined to swim in on beer ' Also, if elected, he wonld move on the floor of the House that any member who mentioned beer or water there should be suspended. Presumably, therefore, if the ex-senior member had got in he was prepared to restrict members' refreshment to whisky straight.

The Very Rev. Father Dawaon. who was for some time attached to St. Patrick's Cathedral, Auckland,, has just turned np at the Cape. In a private letter to a friend in Wellington, he says he U offering himself as chaplain to one of the regiments for the front. It w-uld therefore appear that he mast have regained his health, which had become very much impaired when he lefc Auckland.

Mr E. G. B. Mobs, runner-up for the Ohinemnrl stakes, believes he possesses one qualification as a politician that ought to have weighed with the Upper Thames miners. In one of his addresses he gave it as his opinion that a politician required a tongher bide than a football referee, and, having acted in the latter capacity many times in his younger days, he had great hopes that age had toughened him sufficiently to. be a, credit as a politician. Toagh as Mo^s believes himself to be, he had made up hia mind riof to waste any time in the House — if he got there — by throwing petty scandals across the floor of debate. It reminded him too much of the quarrelsome neighbours who kept on throwing a dead fowl, . over one another's fence until the corpse was worn oat.

Sad to reflect that after^tonghening himself as a football referee to bear a hand in the Parliamentary scrimmage, poor Moss haß had to stand down. However, if he keepß on toughening his hide for three years longer, he ought to be a regular political pachyderm by the time the next general election comes round.

Hunter-Brown ia feeling awfully sorry now that lac ever gave the Hon. Jimmy Carroll a leg up, by telling the Eaat Coast electors not to vote for a black man, and that all half-easteß are blackguards and niggers. They are. remarking down Gisborne way that snch a sneer at the native race comes well indeed from a Poverty Bay Bqnatter, many of whose fallows enriched themselves by indncirg the Maoris to part with vast estates for a mere bois.

This, from the Sydney oorreepondenfc of the Adelaide Critic, xlooa not appear to have teen proclaimed fr<sm the housetops of Auckland just yet : — ' Me Sid Davis, the Rabbi's popular son, is leaving Sydney next month. He is going to Auckland to manage the brewery for Mr Moss Davis.' The brewery "seema to be gradnally edging itß way under the wing of the church. It cannot be a far cry from a Rabbi's popular son to a fnllfledged parson. Then Beer and the Bible will be band in glove once more: *

FiDlay Wilson thinka a good deal of that little joke he got off at Otahuhu— it was his own ewe lamb. He told the electors the Opposition party were like the man who had not iusnred his life — they had no policy Finlay had a policy all rightonly it didn't come off. £240 a year in return for fonr months' talkee-ta'kee would have been a far more liberal policy for him than hunting round, on a weekly wage for people's lives, and filling pulpit vacancies at ten bob a time. .Besides, jast reflect how handy that free railway pass would have come in when the session was over and he was set free once more to bustle round on the life insurance canvassing racket. It really mast be distressing to Finlay to think that after all the Star's barracking on hia account, and its long catalogaes of votes of confidence that he received, and all the cheering that it heard him get oat in the backblocks, he- was only able to poll 1,264 votes against Masaey's 2,702. ■■•■.•

„ Mrs Collings, m a speech at St. Benedict's Hall last week, intimated her intention of givipg Tommy Taylor ' beans ' on a public platform for. his attacks on the Police Force. - She said she was a police matron in Danedin, and lived among forty of them, and was yet alive. They were a fine, honourable body of men. But stay. Tommy can't stand any 'beans' now. He haa gone where the woodbine twineth, and -the electors have got Ell instead.

Marsden Thompson has been telling the Whangarei electors what a good innings he has had in Parliament. He. says there are only four other members of the House besides himself who have had an unbroken record of twelve years and nothing to be ashamed of. _ Happy man.

'Pastor' Ball, who holds forth to a select few iv a little bethel in Ponsonby, occasionally has a rather cnrioua method of selecting his, similes that at times borders on the humourous. On Sunday evening last, in speaking of the headway Prohibition had made during the last three years, he said, ' Oar party is like the British soldiers in the Transvaal, and we mast not be disheartened because oar enemies temporarily refuse to allow us a victory.' Temporarily refnse is distinctly good, and as , far as the Boers are concerned, we earnestly hope they will not make their refusal permanent, bat that they will, oat of pare coartesy, allow us a victory or two presently.

Of course, if, as ' Pastor ' Bnll infers, the matter lies entirely with them, it is just possible they may grow obstinate and attempt to boycott U3 from having any victories at all ; but, then, oar ideas are somewhat different from the ' Pastor's,' as we fancy that Sir Redvers Bailer (whose name would suggest that he went one better than Ball) will have a bit of a pay in the matter, and will collar a few of those victories without asking the consent of the Boers first.

Mr H. A. Field, who died the other day, just after winning the Otaki Beat without being able to address the electore, was one of the quiet members of the House. His strong point wa« his knowledge of native affairs, and on matters of native land administration and legislation he more than once expressed views at variance with those of the Government. Still, he was a safe Party man. Otaki was an Opposition seat when he captured it for the Government six years ago. And his local popalarity was demonstrated by his easy retarn while illness kept him confined to his bed.

Mr Isitt got a retort down South fche other day that was hardly the kind of Jhing he expected. In reply to a request for sixpence from a very seedy.-looking individual, whoae nose was a strong witness to his frequent potations, the temperance divine said, ' Don't you know that liquor' is a destroyer.' 'There's something about me that it don't appear to destroy, sir,' retarned tha 3olicitor for alma. ' And what can that be ?' anxiously inquired the clergyman. 'My thirst for it, sir.' Isitt was almost peraaaded to give him the sixpence.

Mr Hardy, the newly-elected Opposition member for Selwyn, was anxious during his candidature to utilise Dick Seadon to the best advantage, and to prevent him injarinsr hia heilth. He told the electors that ' Mr Seddon was a splendid man ; bat he ought to be in the Opposition,- where he conld look after the public business without raining his health with hard work. If he were in the Opposition, no Government dare go wrong.' Solicitude for Dick's health was unusual amongjthe Opposition candidate*?.

Scobie Mackenzie, who has ju9t gone down in the tidal wave of Seddonism at Danedin, is the snbject of the following characteristic yarn : — He was invited some time since to deliver a literary address at Pahiatna at a grand concert on the occasion of founding a Ciledonian Society in the district, and went there accompanied by Messrs Duthie and McLean, M.H.B.'s. Oi the platform everyone appeared in evening dreaa, and the president, the late Mr McHardy, waß gorgeous in the celebrated Masaey-Watson 500 guinea Highland'coatume. The member for Danedin turned np in a thick grey Scotch Buit and heavy boots. Advancing to the front of the stage, he said : ' Ladies and gentlemen, — First of all I have to apologise fof my get-up, which 1 can clearly Bee is not up to the mark. But the fact is that I come from the Sunny South (Otago was then under snow), and I can't stand the cold of ' the J^orth Island. And, besides (waving bia hand towards Dutbie and McLean), the intense respectability of my two mates onght to cast a sort of reflected gldry upon me ' The 000 l impnderice of the lemark about the cold of the North Island pat the audienoe in a good humour, and theladdreas went Bwim-. mingly. , .'.•'.'.

Mr T." Kennedy Macdonald, just badly knocked out in the fight for the Wellington mayoralty, is to the fore with a neat suggestion for. a coat of arms for the municipality. It is cheap and to the point— merely a sheet of foolscap inscribed, '.We're not in a hurry.', Exactly the sore of thing that would suit the Auckland City Council also right down to the ground.

Among the members of the New South Wales Contingent in South Africa are several ex Maorilandera, including George Halley, late of (Ohristchurch ; Edward Armstrong, who formerly worked in an Auckland foundry ; Charles Hickey, of Maaterton ; and Thomas Crlibbing, who was formerly employed in Shacklock's engineering works in Dnnedin.

Some of the circnmstances connected with the attempted Buicide of John Oollinane at Hamilton on Friday evt ning last were of a grimly humourous character, and since the ' happy despatch ' didn't come off no harm can be done in refening to them. In the first place, we have heard of men endeavouring to anticipate natnre by prematurely shuffling off this mortal coil on account of all sorts of troubles, including debt, detection of a crime, unpleasant and übiquitous mother in laws, etc., but we never before heard of a man wanting to kill himself when he had jast received a considerable sum of money^ from Home. Yet that was Cullinane's case.

Again, his rescue was effected in a mo3t unique manner. He had tied the coose about his neck and was actually hanging when a boy rushed in, seized him by the legs, and gave him a violent pull, when the knot around his neck gave way. The method that boy adopted for saving- the would-be suicide's life was the most peculiar ever recorded, as the cbances were a hundred to one that be would simply hasten matters a little. However, the unexpected happened, as ueu-il, and instead of passing the night in the next world Cullinane spent it in the cells. It is. to be hoped that the next time he starts to tie himself up his rescuer will either cut him down or untie him, instead of resorting to the heroic and questionable plan of yanking him down.

Mr J. Joyce, M.H.R., died without betraying the faintest sign of a struggle. At about 7 o'clock on the evening of his death one of bis daughters had been reading to him the war news from South Africa, in which he was deeply interested, as his son, Mr Selwyn Joyce, is one of the New Zealand Contingent. After hearing the gieater. portion of the news, Mr Joyce said : — ' That will do ; I will have a Bleep j and if the doctor comes let him know that lam very much easier.' He then, appeared to go to sleep, and passed quietly away shortly after.

Fred Pirani, Left Winger, was asbed at one of bis election meetings in Palmerston North the other night by an anxious inquirer if he would be in favour of granting Bun Tnck £3,000 for a trip to China. Pirani promptly answered, ' Yeß, if he won't come back again.'

R. C. Brnce, an ex-member of the House, who nnancceasfnlly opposed John Stevens, sitting member for Manawatn, told the electors at Shannon he ' would not swim with the stream and trim the sail of bis ship to catch the winds with best advantage.' This, from an old eailor, is hardly according to Cocker, and, as the local paper remarks, 'it must be a sort of political nautilus that can both swim and trim its eaila at the same time.

Mr F. E. Baume, in his political performance at the Opera House just before the battle, brought off one of the very beet bloomers of the season. More than that, it was entirely unpremeditated, and his very own. He was urging the working man to eupport local industries, and enforced hia argument with a little parable. ' Only the other day,' he said, ' Mr Archibald Clark showed me a. pair of imported pants, the Eelliog price of which wa3 29 id. Deducting the cost of the material, buttons, thread, etc, what margin is left for the wages of the persons who make up these goods ? And for whose use are these trousers imported? For the use of the men and women of New Zealand.' It was the male portion of the audience that raised the shout of laughter that greeted this sally. The ladies didn't seem nearly so enthusiastic over the suggestion that they wore the breeks.