AN EXTENDED LEASE.
Of life may be obtained by the continuous use of Wolfe's Schnapps. Avoid imitations, Wolfe 's, the only real Schnapps
The back-blocks Waikato farmer occasionally adds to his income by accom« modating boarders from Auckland who are off for their usual summer holiday. That he is quite up-to date, and endeavonra to keep in touch with his city-bred gneats, is proved by the following conversation which waß overheard at Mercer on market day : — Tim Slowboy : ' What waa your blooming game in baying that piece of sterile laud down at Stony Greek ?' Wipere Johnson : ' One of my schemes, old man lam going to pasture the cows on that selection, and give them Auckland folks that sterilised milk the city papers advertise, straight from the cow.' There are many qualified people who will not apply for the old age pension. Their reasons for not availing themselves of the privilege of drawing a little money from the Government treasury chest are varions, but the following explanation from a Brace resident is about as funny as anything we have heard. An old war veteran,, then in receipt of a pension of a shilling a day, was asfeed lately why he did not apply for the old age pension, and replied, ' I spend my pension now in getting whisky, and if I get another bob a day, why, I should always be fall up. No old age pensions for me.' Northern Clubibe : ' What did your wife say to you when you came home late last night ?' Auckland ditto : 'My wife's a jewel. She didn't scold a bit — in fact, she didn't even ask me where I had been or what bad delayed me, but, late as it was, Bhe sat down at the piano and began to play and sing I tell you she is one in ten thousand. Northern Olubite : ' What did she sing? 1 Auckland ditto : ' " Tell me the Old, Old Story ".' Northern Clubite : ' Bit of a humourist, your wife.' The latest respecting a well-known Auckland mining promoter. He was strolling down Queen-street with a new tile on his head, when a certain broker, who shall be nameless, said, ' Look here, Colonel, down at the Exchange the newest gag is, ' Why do you resemble Cecil Khodes ?' 'Bai Jove,' he said, affably, ' has it struck them, too ? Well, why is it ?' 'Because,' said the broker, delicately removing the magnate's hat and exposing to view a ticket marked ' 10/6,' ' you've got a price on your head.'
AN EXTENDED LEASE.
Observer, Volume XVIII, Issue 1092, 2 December 1899, Page 26
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