They Say.

Observer, Volume XVIII, Issue 1092, 2 December 1899, Page 3

They Say.

— That there are prospects of a flax boom — that is, if the Conciliation Board doesn't ait down heavily npon it and crush it out of existence.

— That there were three parsons on the bowling green on Saturday Jast. The result will be seen shortly in infusing more ' bias ' into their sermone.

— That a certain Aucklander who attended the Christchnrch races struck no less than ten winners, and that his gains are expressed in fonr fignres. Who is he ?

— That the Star struck a particularly long lease the other day when it reported that Porter and Cos. allotment in High-atreet, was Hold subject to a lease expiring in 2680 A.D.

— That be is no longer ' Sholto ' in the Herald office. They call him ' Tit ' now.

— That Ponsonby is rampant at the news that its public hall is to be converted into a post and telegraph office.

—That the amorous couple in Ponsonby are not taking any billings and cooinga for the present, bat are ' Strangers Yet.'

. — That if Mr "Vaile had refused to stand, the effort to find a third Opposition candidate for Auckland City would have been quite unavailing.

— That if Evangelist Guy lhornton ' comfortably filled ' the Albert - street Mission Hall on Sunday night (vide newspaper report), he mast have spread himself out to some purpose.

— That the Waitemata electors are inclined to think .Liberal Candidate Ford hasn't learnt his political ABO, since at Pahi he. asked to be excused on the education system, 'as he hadn't gone into it properly. 1

— That there is one Aucklauder down at Samoa who won't feel inspired, with Imperial patriotism when he hears of the bargain struck with Germany. Municipal Magistrate R. L. Skeen will be like Othello with hia occupation gone.

Franklin Elector : Now, sir, I hope if i give yon my vote you will do what yon can to get ns State aid for Roman Catholic schools. Reverend Candidate : Whist, Murphy, don't speak so loud. You see, I'm an Orangeman, but between yon and me and the bottle of cloves, I'll do what I can.

— That an Auckland speculator has made the Government an offer for the lease of the Mokihimu coal mine down at Westport. Who is he ? Can it be the übiquitous J. J. Oraig ? — That among the Westralian Contingent there is a warrior named Kruger. When he gets within cooey of President Paul it's bound to be a case of Greek meeting Greek. — That the man who waltzed into a cycle factory and annexed a number of cycle lamps must have been badly off for a lantern with which, Diogenes like, to discover an honest man. — That the Kemuera Bowling Club enjoy the proud distinction of having a V 0. in their ranks, and that's the' reason they ' hung ont che banner on the outer . wall ' on Saturday last. — That the Premier must find it necessary to put forth herculean efforts to beep Lang oat of the Waikato seat, when he treats Ngaraawahia to a four hours' speech, and submit* to a banquet afterwards starting at midnight. \

— That if the electors of Ohinemuri are not able to accommodate the Government with a man capable of taking Mr Cadman's shoes, Qaeen-atreet can furnish a few who will take- even the breaks off a Hielandman. — That the wholesale cutting down of candidates for the Ohinemnri district, after the meeting between the Liberal Federation delegates and the Premier, is annoying some of the electors almost as much as it is the rejected ones. —That the New Zealand Telegraph Department, nnder instructions from Premier Seddon; are sending a short daily snmcoary of free war news" to country places which don't run a daily paper. Will the supplies be cut off after election ! day ? —That the returning officers for j the Auckland elections seem to be quite a j nice little family party: John King for Auckland City, W. J. King for Franklin, and J. M. King for Waitemata. Are there no other Kings to lend a hand? Stay I There ia King Dick. I

— That the proposed iuclusion of Mr Ward in the next Libeial Cabinet is giving the Oppositionists a,' strong attack <f hysteria. — That it was a graceful act on the part of J. H. Witherford to relinqnish the Opera House and pnt, off his advertised meeting in order to let the Premier monnfc theaturnp. — That the Premier may now make np hia mind to incur certain defeat. Shera has published the announcement that if he stands for Ohinemari he will ! oppose Mr Seddon. [ — That Mr Richardson's suggestion on Sunday that prohibited persona be photographed was capped by one of the auditors, who offered the auggistion that they have rJDge pat m their uosea. — That it was cruel of the influenza, fiend to seize on Emily Nicol just when she was mounting the pinnacle of ancceas in connection with the All Nations Fair. Infiuenzi in the hour of triumph 1 How unromantic. — That in Australia, everything is taken precedence of by the Melbourne Cup. The Transvaal transport stopped over for the race, and the Herald ' war correspondent ' records his visit to the equine battle en route to sterner duties. —That the following from an Australian paper ahows how far w-i must go irom home to learn newa : — ' At latest, " Oliver Bainbridge " was in Maoriland, and mawied, or about to be married, to a " Maori princess." ' — That the ladies of the Ponsonby .Baptist Church are of opinion that the Rev. Mr Coilina's new set of teeth are an improvement on the old Bet that he launched overboard from the steamer when suffering from the miseries of mal-de-mer. —That the girls our Transvaal Contingent left behind them will be greatly comforted to learn that Trcoper Mitchell, writing from Albany, says ' The girls are a white, puny -looking lot, and seem too slow to catch a little colour, They treated us | very coldly.' Sour grapea, eh ? —That as King Dick wants to ' know if there is any man of his weight as Prime Minister, or any of Jock McKenzie's weight as Minister of Lands, it ia np to some- | body to trot out John Bollard and Henare Kaiban. If weight is all that is needed, we can find some samples that will make the balance kick the beam, — lhat Eichard the First has gone quite back on ' The W earing cf the Green ' and ' Wait Till the Clouds Roll By ' as popnlar tunes of the right colour, and ha,s j exhibited a marked preference for ' See the Conquering Hero Comes ' and ' God 1 Save the King.' Brass bands please take note. — That Auckland can't count for mucn in the councils of the Government party when the Seddonian organ in New Dunedin significantly says, ; ' Auckland;will probably obtain representation in "the Cabinet in the person of Mr IVfcGowan, a worthy mediocrity.' Poor Auckland, content to lick the hand that smites it. —That J. E. Taylor's failure to get Returning Officer John King to furnish him with a list of claims for enrolment that have been quietly set aside lends colour to Capt. Russell's prediction that the elections would he fought out in the offices of the.registrars. — lhat the firm that donated a bottle of whisky as a Christmas gift to each member of the Tasmanian Contingent must have thought that after the return of 33, one-third per cent, of the New South Wales Lancers, our Colonial Contingent were in need of a little 'Dutch courage.' —That Mr T. M. Stephens, the latest entry for the Parnell handicap in the Parliamentary races, had a rather [ lively time of it at hiß first meeting, and" j people are still wondering why he can't bring 'his wife and children to Auckland, if his business interests tie him to this city. — That Prohibitionist Apostle French had his breath completely knocked out at St. George's Hall the other night, when tan indignant elector charged him with selling a two ounce stick of tobacco which, upon Government analysis, was certified te contain 23 grains of alcohol. French selling '..alcohol in his tobacco — what next ? — That Mr Napier hit the nail squarly on the head when, on Monday night, in reply to a question regarding public meetings in the street, he said 'the right of public meeting was Bacrcd and time-honoured, but the law imposed cerj tian conditions and limitations. The intemperate denunciation of citizens by name and utterances tending to promote discord and disorder in the community should not be permited.'