They say

Observer, Volume XVIII, Issue 1061, 29 April 1899, Page 3

They say

— That the school committees are not taking any ' conciliation ' this year. Collins and.Fawcus both defeated.

— That quite a number of Auckland sassiety girls are now dispensing tea, etc., in certain Queen-street tea-rooms.

— That Auckland will shortly have the cutting up of £76,000 in Calliope Dock and electric tram works. Get ready for the coming boom.

—That J. H. Witheford will be one of the Auckland City candidates at the general election. A requisition to him is being very numerously signed.

— That when you buy a thing for nothing it is generally worth it.

—That, failing an apology, a writ will shortly he iss;xed by the Licensed Victuallers in re&nact of certain sweeping statements recently made about Sunday trading. „

— That the war against standard passing — and therefore of ' cram ' — is going on wholesale throughout the colony, ond that poor old 'cram' shows signs of capitulation.

— That painting the City Hotel seexaa to have been quite an exhilarating bind of job. £32 contra for • certain liquor supplied,' eh? Wonder if there was a tinge of ' red ' in the painting ?

— That one of the effects of the operation of the old age pensions scheme in the G-reymonth district has been to relieve the Benevolent Society of 75 per cent of those who had previously been in receipt of relief.

— That the Samoans. like the Boers, claim biblical authority for nearly everything they do. When asked why they praotised decapitation of their enemies, they floored their interrogator by replying, 'Didn't David cnt off Goliath's head?'

— That the scarcest thing in the world seems to be money to gay debts with.

— That there's no holding Holden since he won those ' whisky ' bowls and bore them off from the Grafton champions to Kemuera.

— That Editor Leys has succeeded in making hia peace with the National Council of Women. The peace-offering was a handsome bouquet of the choicest blooms in his garden.

—That the Star ought really to draw it mild in dishing up for its readers those experiences of life among the cannibals. Some of them are positively shocking.

—That, if some of the travelling shows in New Zealand at the present time had a dentist or two included in their cast, they might stand a far lobs chance of getting stranded. The drawing powers of the average dentist don't seem to be properly appreciated.

—That the little trip of the five Auckland lawyers who have gone to attend the Wellington Appeal Court, all and severally on account of the Auckland Cooperative Building Society, will make a nice little hole in somebody's pooket—probably the Society's. .

—That many a man has found, when silver and gold are gone, that a little brass is a useful substitute.

— That if the Charitable Aid Board want names for the Hospital wards, there waa no need to seek farther than the latest donors of handsome beqnests.

— That the amalgamation of those tramway syndicates brings Auckland within measureable distance Qf that longpromised electric tram service and tne projected expenditure of £150,000.

—That the Mayor of Newton must have been in a rather sarcastic mood the other night when he said that certain cases of typhoid fever emphasised the need for changing the name of the borough.

— That the man who went off to the Parnell fire the other night — or rather at three in the morning — and sermonised the crowd on the unquenchable fire in Btore for them later on, may be pat down as an evangelist of a distinctly 'lurid' type.

—That, in view of Dr MakgilPs report upon the bacteria he found in the Auckland city water, there appears to have been some need of a little whisky up at the Hospital 'jußt to bill the microbee.' Water straight appears to-be a rather dangerous etimnlant jnst now.

—That, from a bacterial standpoint Otahnhu is a pretty ' lire ' district.

—That the Hospital Board and patientß can do very nicely with the filtered water so long as they get it ' stimulated.'

—That drags in Auckland must be a drug in the market when Sharland and Co. have to record a loss of £1,300 on the year's operations.

—That the Charitable Aid Board get their dander up now very quickly when anyone ventures to mention the tabooed subject of medical comforts. :

— That the Observes is the best advertising medium in New Zealand. It goeß everywhere, and is begged, borrowed and stolen more than any other paper.

—That 'Caldee' and the Key. K Sommerville, in their newspaper controversy, appear to be ' floundering in the deep mire ' of donbtfnl compliments just now.

— That the Herald has not made a signal success of its contract to fasten on the Government the responsibility for the Capt. Jones marine scandal. In fact, it has been vainly trying to Hall-Jones over the coals.

—That the success of the Literary and Historical Society must now be assured. Steve Hughes has just been elected a member. He will be able to contribute an historical paper on ' My Ponsonby Fencing Exploit.'

— That the man who went home and had his tea the other afternoon when the railway train broke down at Kingsland, and got back in time to continue his journey, iB well np in the average speed of the local trains.

— That the City Council, in giving Dairy Inspector Eedgate notice of the termination of his engagement, means to aave his screw by letting the Government veterinarian, when he comeH along, do all the work. Bat will he be able to overtaks it ?

-That, now that President Bart. Kent is to be provided with a £75 testimonial out of the Exhibition fnnds, the hon. treasurer and the chairmen of the various committees are jnsi as much entitled to be teatimonialised in the same way.

—That W. J. Napier is a clever financier. By quietly raising the Calliope Dock loan through the Auckland Savings Bank at 32 per cent, he has sa?ed | per cent, to the Harbour Board, who are getting 4 per cent, on their outlay from the Admiralty.

—That the National Council of Women may not be mean, but they are precious careful when they walk past the local instrumentalists and engage cheap Italian bands to do the tootling at their conversaziones.

— That a recent remark by Judge Pennefather, that no judge in the world could get through the work of the Otago and Southland district, seems to point to the probability that there will shortly be an opening for the appointment of another Judge. Can you pick him ?

—That the Key. J. Parker rather piqued the curiosity of the Mount Eden Coflgregationalists laat Sunday when he preached to them on the text, ' I have yet many things to say nnto ye, but ye cannot hear them now.' They want now to know the reason why.

—That it is hardly consistent with the National Council of Women's devotion to the ' Economic Independence of Women ' fad to find that they owe to the 'kindly interest' of the Auckland public the fact that they have been enabled to pay the expenses of the Convention and have a surplus over.

—That Mrs Schnackenberg doesn't aeem to be in a harry to win for the Auckland charities that prize of £100 offered by the licensed victuallers if she -will but step out and prove her allegations of Sunday trading. If she won't take up the challenge, then the public will, of course, assume it is a case of can't.

— That the Herald must be going it blind when it sayß 'all advertisements having a suspicion of gambling are blocked out of the newspapers.' What about the Evening Henry's attempt to boom one of its Bideshow publications by offering £10 m prizes for the ' missing letters ' gamble ? And this, moreover, is to bring up the rising generation in the way they should go.