"Pars" About People.

Observer, Volume XVIII, Issue 1018, 2 July 1898, Page 6

"Pars" About People.

That^ lovely"][Lewiß| Moses,- the §moneylender, again. Here is the latest story of extortion. A lady having! had much)|illness'in her home, and being in nrgent need of [ready money to meet pressing demands,*borrowed £12 from Moses on a piano that had cost £40 odd. She was to pay £1 per month, but whether for interest or principal was not very clear in her mind, as she had not read the bill of sale, and it had not been read over to her. She paid the £1 for five or six months, and then dropped into arrears, with the result that Lewis seized the piano and claimed from her £12 original loan and £6 accumulated interest and expenses. From which it appeared that Lewis Moses was charging £1 per month for the loan of £12. And yet the Legislative Conncil objects to pass a law suppressing usury. The lady, finding the position she was in, placed her case in the hands of a well-known lawyer, and steps are now being taken to place this transaction before Mr Justice Conolly.

Major Birkenshaw has been telling the Salvation Army down Wanganui way that Bible teachings had influenced the product of the brains of many writers of mark, auch, for example, aa Smollett Ahem ! If we remember aright, Smollett's stories were of a very spicy character, and it is a bit rough on the Bible to suggest that Tobias got the inspiration for his yarns from its pages.

Mr J. Wilkie, who has been a thorn in Dick Seddon's side by reason of hie writings in the Tory preßS, is said to be dying in the Wellington Hospital from cancer It has frequently been said of him by Ministers that he was retained by the National Association to abase the Government, and he was certainly a very bitter opponent of the present admistration.

How many Doctors Pnrchas are there in Auckland at all at all? Qaite a new one — not the hero of the skin-grafting case, nor yet his venerable pater — appeared in the Police Court this week, and told a whimpering tale about a Farmer Macrae who had driven bis trap so as to squeeze the youthful doctor's bicycle into the gutter and then behaved impudently to his doctorßhip. Of course, it is a very heinouß offence in Auckland to be impudent to a Doctor Purchas. But, bless your heart, old Macrae didn't mind that. The youth was cheeky to him, and he laid his whip across the youth's back, and that was bis side of the case, excepting that he had a witness and himself to prove that Purchas passed on the wrong side of him, and also hit his horse in the face when passing. And so the case was dismissed. By the way, the parties to the suit are old acquaintances. The Parchas family lived at Onehnnga, and the Macrae family across the water at Mangare, and they didn't waste any love on each other. This was when the Parchas boys went to Farquhar Mcßae's High School— don't yon remember that bobbery — and before they were sent to college to become doctors.

The Wealeyan parson at Coromandel is called Froat. But they say bis sermons are anything but frosty. Sir Michael Hicks-Beach reckons the outlook in connection with foreign affairs eminently peaceful. What is he giving us ? And the Imperial Government pestering Dick Seddon to quit manufacturing surpluses and get Mb army and navy ready for active service !

He was in needy circumstances and anxious to raise the wind, bo be inserted an advertisement in certain newspapers to the effect that anyone wishing to earn two pounds a week daring their spare time would be advised how to do so on receipt of a letter containing sixpence in Btampa and a stamped addressed envelope for reply. Then followed the number of a box at the post office to which letters might be sent. The number of his clients was simply astonishing, and to each of these he sent a slip of paper on which was printed the words 'Do as I do.' The majority of his customers, on receiving this impudent but neverthless true answer, frankly acknowledged to themselves that they had been had and said no more about it, but one man, who couldn't look upon it as a joke, gave information to the police, with the result that the young man's philanthropic scheme was nipped in the bud.

Miss Hastie has abandoned her trip to the South Seas in the Sydney Belle, and rumour says the change of -plans will involve several bushels of litigation. The story goes that the chief trouble was about the cKoice"b£- captain. Miss Hastie had a captain of her own in her mind's eye, and sorely if a thirty thousand pound lady charters a Bhip and wants to appoint a captain to her own liking she ought to be allowed to do so. Bat, of coarse, the owners hadn't sold the .vessel to Miss Hastie and they wanted some voice, in the matter, and so also did the insurance companies. However, they have got all the voice now. Miss Hastie has kicked up her heels and won't go at all, and all the parties are feeing lawyers, and high jinks in the law courts— for the lawyers — are expected.

Sergeant Ellison told the Wanganni Licensing Committee the other day that the hotels in that town were conducted better than the hotels in any other part of the country.. Now, as Sergeant" Ellison was doing clerical work in the inspector's office for ten years before he went to Wanganui, and knows no more about the hotels in any other part of the colony than a tomtit knows about the Chinese language, is he not talking a bit wildly ? .

Anxious inquiries are being made in Paeroaas to the whereabonts of a wellkn own local . business man. He left so hurriedly that he had not time to wish all his friends good-bye. They feel so very sorry for this, and so anxious to shake him once more by the hand, that they are likely to contribute to the cost of his passage and bring him back again Gay old jokers are these Paeroa folk.

Dr Purchas, sen., says he believes that England and America are at heart of one religion. But what religion ia that ? Here, in Auckland alone, we have twenty-seven religions established already.

What about the boycott that was attempted to be set up against an Auckland medical man on account of some little disagreement that formerly existed between himself and certain parties connected with the Hospital ? And when doctors disagree, who shall decide ? It is a pity that the appointments to the honorary medical staff of oar Hospital are not made in open board. The warm escape that one applicant, iv every way qualified for the position, had from being rejected plainly shows chat there are wheels" within wheels, and that members of public bodies have to be closely watched. Had the appointment not been made it would have been a disgrace to Auckland, for even admitting that the applicant and another medical officer have agreed to differ, surely that is no bar to the advancement of the former provided that he has the necessary ability. Also, ' how is it that some members of the Hospital Board are anxious to appoint one who, on account of not having had the necessary experience, is ineligible for the position ?

Gladstone again : Two gentlemen invited as guests at a table where Mr Gladstone was expected, made a wager that they would Btart a conversation on a subject about which even Mr Gladstone would know nothing. To accomplish this end they ' read up ' an ancient magazine article on some unfamiliar subject connected with Chinese manufactures. When the favourable opportunity came the topic was started, and the two conspirators watched with amusement the growing interest in the subject which Mr Gladstone's face betrayed. Finally he joined in the conversation, and their amusement was turned into gnashing of teeth— to speak figuratively — when Mr Gladstone said,. 'Ah, gentlemen, I perceive you have been reading an article I wrote in. the — Magazine some 30 or 40 years ago.'

Michael Davifct tells this story in his book. 'In a certain Colonial town, a world- wide advocate of Bimetallism volunteered to apeak upon' that problem, and the mayor was, of course, compelled by custom to preside. The lecturer, as is his wont, appeared in faultless evening dress. The chief magistrate, a born Radical cockney, did not. la opening the proceedings, the mayor, who had allowed the distinguished stranger's name to slip his memory, spoke as follows :— " Ladies and Gentlemen, — I don't know nothink about this ere Bimetallism, bat there is a bloke here from Great Britain as will soon tell you all about it I" '

Edward Wakefield, former Chriafcchurch representative in the House of Representatives, is the subject of the following story by the Bulletin. One day he was addressing a number of Maoris near Wellington. It was shortly before the war, and the natives, generally, were sulky. When Wakefield ceased,- a scarred and tatooed old man arose ana said, touching his breast : 'He speaks as his father spoke. And hia father did not speak truth — for which he died I / saw him die. And, because he spoke lies, we cut a slit in his cheek, and pulled his tongae through it. Yet here again '—and he pointed to Wakefield— 'he speaks liea I'

Detective Maddern, who brought Dr Orpen back to the colony, is credited with haying charmed many of the belles of Honolulu, and when the time of departure arrived the scene was a most affecting one. As the vessel moved away an island wit remarked: 'You n;ay be Maddern, but the ladies are Maddern you t' Then the brick came. .

Misa Hastie, the young and wealthy lady who purpoaed cruising among- the islands of the Pacific for several months in the Sydney Belle, and who has abandoned the trip on account of a difference with the owners of the vessel, has a dead set on newspaper men generally. The Auckland papers despatched reporters to interview the lady or her husband, but the way she had them bundled out of the house was a treat to witness. Even George Main, who is calculated to worm himself into the affections of any young damsel, was hurled out into the roadway with a vigour that astonished him. and convinced him that the lady had been aptly named.

Mrs Sharman will find an interesting paragraph about herself in the Adelaide Critic. The Critic, which remembers the lady better by her stage name of Juliet Wray, says she is now living in Maoriland, where she astonishes womankind with her brilliant dressing and uncommon soprano voice. Juliet is always pleased, proceeds the Critic, to entertain Australian visitors, from whom she is delighted to hear news. How long the Sharmanß will stay in Moariland is an interesting question, the answer to which no man (or woman) knoweth, but it is safe to say that the Bmart namesake of Shakespeare's tragedy does not intend to live the rest of her natural life in the lone island of New Zealand, or always dreßS in locally manufactured tweed, as do all patriotic Maoriland women.

George Hutchison tells the latest story against Dick Seddon. It is based on the Premier's professed dislike for Chinamen 'A case was heard,' says Mr Hutchison, 1 in which three Chinamen were involved. Two . were forthcoming, bnt the third, named Bnn Tnck, could not be found. After investigation, the missing partner in the Chinese firm was fonnd to be the Bight Honourable Bichard John Seddon, P.C., L.L.D.' This Btory, as it stands, certainly ' tacks the ban.'

William Mitchell, who was found drowned in Auckland harbour several days ago, was one of the first members of the New Zealand Hansard staff. He was also for some years private secretary to Sir George Grey. His standing as a journalist in this colony was a very long one, dating back to the early sixties, when he was a, reporter x>n the Btaff of the Southern Cross. Few men were better versed in the political history of New Zealand than William Mitchell. In his later years the deceased gentleman suffered from softening of the brain, as the resole of which fie was on occasions somewhat eccentric in his manners.

Aucklanders had an opportunity, a few weeks ago, of observing the oratorical methods of Mr Scobie McKenzie — of noting his ear-catching phrases and his starched ' impromptus.' One of the Parliamentary lobby jokes is that when Scobie is preparing himself for a big speech, he ' Bwots ' himself in the Library for a week, burning midnight oil and wearing a wet towel round his head. One of Scobie's most dramatic efforts occurred in Otago, some years ago, when he journeyed to Kaitangata, the coalmining district, to ' ronst ' up the candidature of Mr James Allen. On thiß occasion he turned up late on the platform, with his face and hands begrimed with carefully-prepared coal-dust. Apologising to the audience for his lateness and appearance, he explained that boih were owing to the Government using dirty coal on the railway, adding that if the clean coal produced at Kaitangata were used such a condition as he was in would have been impossible. Of course thiß assured to him the attention of the coal -del vers for the rest of the evening.

Another yarn about him relates to the time when Scobie was opposed for Mount Ida by a local celebrity named Hodge, and Sir Robert Stout invaded the electorate to fight on the Hodge side. One night Sir Robert was in possession of a meeting at one of the centres, and seemed to have his audience in such humour that a declaration adverse to Mackenzie was certain. Scobie was anpposed at the time to be miles away, unaware of the danger m which he stood. .But just at the psychological moment he made his appearance in the hall, booted and sparred, and bespattered with mud and dust as though just at the end of a long journey. Taking the platform, he told how he bad ridden long miles over rough country to meet his antagonist face to face, and he then went on to make mincemeat of the arguments of the other side. It is a matter of hiatory that Scobie won that election. But his theatrical arrival waa all a matter of careful planning. -Scobie bad been in Naaeby all that day, lying perdu in a private room, and had been rehearsing in detail the whole business.

A Wellington citizen tells a story of bis experience in an accommodation-house when lately travelling in the Maryborough district. He had spent the. night in one of the rooms of the establishment, and after breakfast returned to the apartment, where he was astonished to find his bed occupied by a huge sow, which had rolled itself up in' the blankets with the very appearance of being quite at home. As she had just before keen rolling in the mud in the back yard, it will be understood that she didn't improve the cleanliness of the bed-clothes. Whether the traveller had displaced the critter from her usual resting place by his occupation of the bed he isn't sure. And you do meet some qneer things in the backblocks.

Mary Clifton; an engaging young woman who is also known by the name of filasche, took the Bank of New Zealand at Wanganui down very badly for £10 the other day. She was introduced to Mr Nixon, of the bank, as a probable purchaser of the Masonic Hotel, and succeeded in impressing him with a story that she had £750 on deposit at the National in Auckland. Therefore, when she expressed a desire for £10 in order that she might go to Napier, the amiable Nixon filled in a cheque for her and cashed it. Also, it was returned to the too confiding banker marked 'N.S.F.,' and now Mary stands committed for trial. Too bad, isn't it ?

Frank H. Laing, the Dunedin bankrupt whose creditors met last week, according to press telegrams, and severely^criticised the action of the departed one, was in Auckland not long back. He was present at the sale of yearlings belonging to Mr. L. D. Nathan, and purchased a couple of youngsters which were subsequently disposed of at a profit. A ' hot ' crowd one night in Auckland endeavoured to fill Laing up with liquor and induce him to adjourn upstairs for a game of draw poker, but the intended victim, who ' tumbled ' very quickly to what was intended, asked his friends if they thought him such a flat as to let them ease him of the little he had By the way, it was stated at the meeting of creditors that Laing intended returning and facing the music.

Commissioner Tunbridge gave the local police force a rattling . good speech on the necessity for strict discipline and the impropriety of loitering and talking at street corners and the unseemliness of frequenting public houses. The effect of his golden advice upon the men may be gauged by the fact that ere two hours had passed two of them were detected together in a local hotel and reported. Truly, police discipline in Auckland has gone to the dogs.

Dick Seddon told this story against himself down the West Coast the other day. It was apropos of meeting two old schoolfellows and fellow-workmen in Utah on his Jubilee tour. These old companions, whom he had not seen for 36 yeara, he found both Mormon bishops. On telling this to the old foreman of his old workshop in his native place, the old man turned to Mr Seddon and said, ' Richard, if yon had gone with them you'd have been the Prophet.'

Charlie Wilson, Member for Wellington Suburbs, has announced a lecture on 'The Humours of Colonial Journalism.' Charlie himself is one of the greatest humours of colonial journalism we know of.

New Legislative Councillor Twomey was at one time shipping reporter on the Wellington Post. And there anent a story is told of the dismissal of a joking comp. The pilot of. the port of that day was Capt. Shilling. In a paragraph announcing the arrival of a vessel, Twomey duly chronicled the part contributed by the pilot in steering her into port. But the jocular typographer thought he could improve upon the reporter's version, and cut down the bulk of the sea-dog by one-half, so he made the paper 'gravely announce that the ship was piloted into port by Captain Sixpence. As everybody knows, the first duty of a printer is to 'follow copy,' so this deliberate trifling with the sacred M.S. could not be tolerated and he had to put his ' stick ' in his pocket and travel in search of another berth. But a competent printer in those days was always able to earn a good living, so the hardship was not so great as it would be now-a-days, when there are half-a-dozen men to be got for every frame ?